Why do men want to be fathers? 6 Minute English

Catherine: Hello and welcome to 6 Minute

English, I'm Catherine.

Neil: And I'm Neil.

Catherine: Now, Neil, you're a dad,

aren't you?

Neil: I am a dad. How did you know? Is it

the grey hair in my beard?

Is it the wrinkles around the eyes?

Catherine: I thought that was

just your age.

Neil: Well, yes, maybe. In today's

programme we're going to be talking

about fathers and how being a father

has changed over the years.

But before we hear more about this topic,

our question for the day. According to

recent research in the UK, what

percentage of men are present when

their children are born? Is it: a) 55%,

b) 75% or c) 95%? What do you think?

Catherine: I think a lot of men these days

like to see their children born. It's not

culturally inappropriate so I'm gonna

go for 95%.

Neil: Well, we'll find out if you're right

at the end of the programme.

Now, Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary

anthropologist. She studies, among other

things, how human behaviour has

changed and is changing. She's

written a book called The Life of Dad.

She's been studying new fathers and

spoke about her research on the BBC's

Woman's Hour programme.

She asked why men want to become

fathers. She starts by saying that there

are lots of reasons but how many does

she mention in her answer?

Dr Anna Machin: There's lots of different

reasons why men want to be fathers - for

some of them it's just a stage in life

they've reached. They've got the house,

they've got the job, now it's time to have a

family. Sometimes they admit that

actually they're not that

keen, but their partner wants a baby, so

they're kinda going along with it. And a

reasonable number actually say they do

it because they want to undo what their

father did to them, so rewrite history in

relation to fathers and the experience of

fathering, to be a better

father than their father was.

Neil: How many reasons does

she mention?

Catherine: She mentioned three reasons.

The first was that it was that time in life -

the guys had a home and a job and

having children was the thing to do next.

Neil: Another reason was that it was what

their partners wanted, even if they weren't

that keen themselves. If you're 'not keen

on something' it means you are 'not

enthusiastic about it', it's not really

something you want to do, but because

it's what their partner wants they agree to

it, or as Dr Machin said,

they're going along with it.

Catherine: Yes, 'going along' with

something, is a phrase that means

'agreeing to do' something

even though you don't really want to do it.

It's interesting that Dr Machin said that

some men admit to this. 'To admit to'

something is 'to say or agree' that

something is true even if you're perhaps

ashamed of it or you

don't want it to be true.

Neil: There was one more reason she

mentioned and that was that some men

become parents because they want to be

a better father than their own father had

been. Let's listen again.

Dr Anna Machin: There's lots of different

reasons why men want to be fathers - for

some of them it's just a stage in life

they've reached. They've got the house,

they've got the job, now it's time to have a

family. Sometimes they admit that

actually they're not that keen, but their

partner wants a baby, so they're kinda

going along with it. And a reasonable

number actually say they do it because

they want to undo what their father did to

them, so rewrite history in relation to

fathers and the experience of fathering,

to be a better father than their father was.

Neil: So what is it about some father's

own dads that they didn't like?

Here's Dr Machin again.

Dr Anna Machin: Well, in some cases, you

know, the father would be neglectful,

some fathers were absent and others

they just felt they were a very, I suppose,

we'd say a 1950s father so distant,

disciplinarian not actually involved

in their children's daily life and certainly

not involved in their care. So today's

generation fathers, even in the 10 years

that I've been studying dads we've seen

a massive evolution in

how hands-on fathers are.

Neil: She talks there about some negative

characteristics associated with dads

in the past. She suggests that some

fathers didn't have a very close

relationship with their sons, they were

'absent' which means they 'weren't

at home a lot and didn't spend time'

with their children.

Catherine: Yes, and some fathers were

seen as a 'disciplinarian'. That describes

someone whose main communication

with their children was to give them strict

rules and tell them off or punish them

if they did something wrong.

Neil: These days, according to Dr Machin,

fathers are much more 'hands-on'.

This phrase means they are 'much more

involved' with their children and share

bringing up their children

with their partners.

Catherine: And talking of sharing, Neil,

come on - it's time to know the answer

to today's question.

Neil: Yes, indeed. According to recent

research in the UK, what is the percentage

of fathers who are there when their

children are born?

Was it 55%, 75% or 95%?

Catherine: And I said a very optimistic 95%.

Neil: Being optimistic is good obviously

because you are correct.

Catherine: That's fantastic!

Neil: And now, for something else

fantastic, our review of

today's vocabulary...

Catherine: We started off with 'admit to'

for when you say something is true, even

if it might make you look a little bit bad.

And before we go on I have to admit, Neil,

that it was me who ate your biscuit.

Neil: Which one?

Catherine: The one that you left on the desk.

Neil: That's all right. I wasn't really keen

on it anyway. It had been on the floor.

Catherine: What? Yuck!

Neil: Yeah, well, it serves you right! And

'to be keen on' something is our next

phrase, meaning 'being very interested in

and enthusiastic' about something.

Catherine: Then we had 'to go along with'

something. This is when you 'agree to do

something even if you are not keen' on it.

Neil: An 'absent' father is one who is 'not at

home to spend time' with his children.

Catherine: And some fathers are

'disciplinarians'. They have strict rules and

they give out punishments but these

days more fathers are 'hands-on' which

means they are 'very much involved' in

looking after and bringing up

their children.

Neil: Well, that's all we have time for

today. Join us again next time and

remember you can find us on Instagram,

Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and of course

our website bbclearningenglish.com.

See you soon. Goodbye!

Catherine: Bye!