Anxious about talking to new people? 6 Minute English

Neil: Hello. This is 6 Minute English

and I'm Neil. Joining me

for our discussion is Georgina.

Georgina: Hello!

Neil: Now, Georgina, you're a chatty,

sociable kind of person, aren't you?

Georgina: Well, yes, I think so.

Neil: But would you go up to a stranger

and strike up a conversation?

Georgina: That might be going too far - if

you don't know them, what are you going

to start talking about?

Neil: A good question. But maybe

you should - because in this programme

we're looking at how talking to strangers

might actually be good for you!

But first, let me talk to you about

today's question. I'd like you to answer

this. To make conversation we need

words - so according to the

Oxford English dictionary,

approximately how many words are

in use in the English language? Is it...

a) 171,146; b) 271,146 or c) 371,146?

Georgina: We use a lot of words

in English, but not 371,000 -

so I'll go for a) 171,146.

Neil: OK. Well, as always I will reveal

the answer later in the programme.

Now, let's continue our conversation

about having conversations

with strangers! Many of us

spend part of every day surrounded by

strangers, whether on our commute to

work, sitting in a park or cafe,

or visiting the supermarket.

Georgina: But we rarely reach out

and talk to them because we fear

it would make us both feel

uncomfortable - or awkward.

And Gillian Sandstrom, social

psychologist from Essex University

in the UK, can explain why. Here she is

speaking on BBC Radio 4's All In The

Mind programme...

Gillian Sandstrom: We kind of

underestimate, we have this negative

voice in our head that's telling us

"I shouldn't have said that, why

did I do that? I said that story better

last time". But the other person doesn't

know any of that and they're probably -

you know, they might be anticipating

that they

won't have a positive conversation and

then they do. And they think, wow,

that person was amazing.

So we walk round with this fear

that the other person isn't going to be

interested in talking to us.

Georgina: Fascinating stuff.

So we have a negative voice in

our head telling us about

all the bad things that might happen.

We basically underestimate ourselves.

Neil: To underestimate means to think

that something is smaller or

less important than it really is.

We worry that what we say won't

be interesting or important enough.

Georgina: Ah, but the other person doesn't

know that. They're also anticipating - or

guessing - the outcome. They're thinking

that if they have a conversation,

it won't go well.

But of course, when strangers do talk

to each other it normally goes well.

Neil: Yes, it's just fear that is stopping

us. But if we get over that fear, and get

chatting, people might actually like us -

and we might make new friends.

Georgina: Another reason why

you should pluck up the courage

to talk to strangers is that

it's good for our health!

Neil: 'Pluck up the courage' - that's a good

phrase, Georgina, meaning

force yourself to do something

that you're scared about and...

research by the University of Chicago

found we may often underestimate

the positive impact of connecting with

others for both our own

and others' wellbeing.

Georgina: And connecting here

means starting or having a good

relationship with someone.

So the research found that, for example,

having a conversation with

a stranger on your way to work may leave

you both feeling happier

than you would think.

Neil: Gillian Sandstrom also spoke

about her research and

the power of talking to strangers

on the You and Yours programme.

Listen out for the word 'connected' -

Gillian Sandstrom: What we've shown

in the research is that it's really good for

your mood. So people are in a better

mood after they reach out and have a

conversation, however minimal,

and the other thing that the research

has shown is that just makes people feel

more connected to each other.

Neil: There you go! Talking to strangers is

good for our mood - and mood means

the way we feel. It's good for

our mental health - and we might

discover people actually like us!

And even if we're an introvert - a person

who prefers to be alone rather than

with other people - experiments

have shown that talking

to others can make us happier.

Georgina: The problem remains, Neil, that

when speaking to someone new,

what do you talk about?

Neil: How about some interesting facts -

like approximately how many

words are in use in the English

language? Which is what

I asked you earlier. Is it?

a) 171,146; b) 271,146 or c) 371,146?

What did you say, Georgina?

Georgina: I said 171,146. Was I right?

Neil: Spot on, Georgina. Well done!

Yes, there are an estimated

171,146 words currently in use in the

English language, according to

the Oxford English Dictionary -

plus many more obsolete words.

Georgina: I shall pick a few of them

and make conversation with

someone on the Tube later,

but not before we recap some of

the vocabulary we've explained.

Neil: Yes - so we highlighted six words,

starting with underestimate

which is to think that

something is smaller or less important

than it really is.

Georgina: Anticipating means guessing

or expecting a certain outcome.

I anticipate this programme

to be 6 minutes long!

Neil: That's a given! Next, we mentioned

the phrase to pluck up the courage,

meaning to force yourself to do

something that you're

scared or nervous about.

Georgina: When you connect with

someone, it means you start or

have a good relationship with someone.

I think we've connected on this

programme, Neil!

Neil: Absolutely, Georgina. And that's put

me in a good mood - mood means

the way we feel.

Georgina: And finally, an introvert is

a person who prefers to spend time

on their own.

Neil: Thanks, Georgina. Well, that's our

conversation over, but you can hear

more from us on our website and

on our app. Goodbye!

Georgina: Bye!