What can we learn from toddlers? ⏲️ 6 Minute English

Hello. This is 6 Minute

English from BBC Learning English.

I'm Neil. And I'm Beth.

You may have one, or know someone who does,

and at one time you've been one yourself.

I'm talking about toddlers.

A toddler is a young child, usually between two and four years old,

who is learning to walk or 'toddling'.

It's an important stage in a child's development

as they learn to move and understand the world around

them. It's also known as the 'terrible twos'.

When toddlers can't do the things they want to,

they experience frustration, which often leads to tantrums – a sudden

and noisy outburst of anger.

We've probably all seen the tears

and screams when a young child can't have what they want.

Yes, the famous temper tantrums.

But being a toddler is also an exciting time

as a child's personality starts to develop.

So, what can we adults learn from toddlers?

That's what we'll be finding out in this programme,

along with some useful new vocabulary.

But first I have a question for you, Beth.

Being a toddler is certainly an important stage in a child's growth,

but which of the following statements is true?

A. Toddlers are attracted to shapes that resemble the human body

B. Toddlers are more active than at any other time in their lives,

or C. Toddlers can grow up to three centimetres during sleep time.

Um. I think toddlers can grow

up to three centimetres

while they sleep. OK, Beth.

We'll find out if that is the correct answer later in the programme.

At two or three years old,

there's not much toddlers can do for themselves.

They depend on mum or dad to feed, clothe and care for them.

So, it is strange to think there's anything adults

could learn.

But not according to Dr Hasan Merali,

author of a new book

'Sleep Well, Take Risks,

Squish the Peas’ and father to his own toddler, who spoke with BBC

Radio 4 programme, Woman's Hour.

When I see the toddlers by themselves,

they are doing a lot of things out loud.

Little Julie's putting on her mitts and saying,

“Julie can do it”. And Coltan’s over in the side, and he's looking down

at his boots, and they're on the wrong way,

and so he says “Oh, Coltan did this wrong!”

And this idea of self-talk

is really a way to decrease

stress in anxiety-provoking situations.

Dr Merali observed toddlers talking

to themselves out loud. When you talk out loud,

you speak so that other people can hear you,

But it's what the toddlers were saying that's really interesting.

When a little girl called Julie learned how to put on her gloves,

she told herself, 'Julie, can do it!'

This is a special kind of talking out loud, known as self-talk.

Self-talk means the messages that you tell yourself,

and the way in which you tell them.

It's your inner voice, and in toddlers

it's usually positive and encouraging.

Unfortunately, as we grow up, our self-talk often becomes less encouraging

and more critical. Instead of a positive, loving inner voice, as adults

we tend to tell ourselves:

‘You can’t do it!’ or ‘you’re no good!’

Here’s Dr Merali again,

explaining more to BBC

Radio 4 programme, Woman’s Hour:

We often get into the cycle of negative self-talk,

and I think one of the best strategies that we can do

is give ourselves more positive self-talk, so an easy way to do it is

when you're down on yourself, and angry with yourself,

think about talking to yourself as a good friend instead of actually you,

and you'll notice that difference

in how you talk to yourself. As an adult,

you might be down on yourself.

If you're down on yourself,

you feel disappointed and self-critical about yourself.

When this happens, your self-talk

gets very negative, for example, telling yourself

you're no good, and this can lead to a negative cycle,

a pattern of repeating the same negative thoughts over and over again.

It can be a problem, but not for toddlers who are naturally good

at talking kindly to themselves and celebrating the little things,

like learning to get dressed. The solution for over-critical

grown-ups? According to Dr Merali,

pretend you're talking to a good friend instead of to yourself,

just like toddlers do! It seems us

adults can learn something from young children

after all – being kind to ourselves. When they're not having tantrums,

toddlers really are wonderful little creatures,

which reminds me of your question, Neil.

Right, I asked you

which statement about toddlers was true.

And I said it was that toddlers can grow up to three centimetres

while they sleep... Was I right?

I think you know that you're not right, Beth! That was the wrong answer.

It's true that toddlers do grow when sleeping,

but not as much as three centimetres. In fact,

the correct answer was that being a toddler is the most active period

of your whole life, which isn't hard to believe if you live with one.

OK, let's recap the vocabulary

we've learned in this programme about toddlers, young children

who are 'toddling' or learning to walk. A tantrum

is a noisy, uncontrolled outburst of anger, usually from a young child.

If you say something out loud,

you say it in a way that other people can hear.

Self-talk refers to the messages that you tell yourself,

and the way in which you tell them.

It's your inner voice.

The phrase to be down on yourself means to feel disappointed

and self-critical about yourself.

And finally, a negative cycle is a pattern

of repeating the same negative thoughts over and over again,

something a toddler would never do!

Once again our six minutes are up,

but remember to join us again next time

for more trending topics and useful vocabulary here at 6 Minute

English. Goodbye for now.

Goodbye!