Should parents ever lie to children? 6 Minute English

Neil: Hello welcome to 6 Minute English. I'm Neil.

Rob: And I'm Rob.

Neil: Rob, when you were a child, did you

have a pet?

Rob: Yes, we had a few pets. My favourite

was a little fluffy hamster.

Neil: And what happened to your

hamster?

Rob: Well one day I got home from school and he

and he wasn’t in his cage. I was worried for

a bit in case he’d escaped or got hurt,

but it was alright. My mum told me that

he had gone to live on a farm so that he

could run around with other animals.

Neil: Really?

Rob: Yes, really.

Neil: A hamster. Went to live on a farm. To

be with other animals. Really?

Rob: Oh, well, when you put it like that.

Neil: I think that was probably one of

those lies that parents tell their children

so as not to make them sad.

Rob: Well I’m sad now.

Neil: Well maybe having a go at this quiz

will cheer you up.

According to a study by a US

psychologist, what percentage of people

will lie in a typical

ten minute conversation? Is it:

a) 40% b) 50%, or c) 60%.

Rob: I think most people don’t lie that

much so I’ll say 40%.

Neil: We’ll reveal the answer a little later in

the programme.

Rob: So today we are talking about lies

and particularly the lies that parents

tell children.

Neil: The topic was discussed on the BBC

Radio 4 programme, Woman’s Hour.

Rob: A guest on that programme was

Doctor Chris Boyle, a psychologist at

Exeter University. He talks about a

particular kind of lie. We tell these lies not

because we want to hurt people.

What colour are these lies called?

Dr Chris Boyle: A white lie is just a

distortion of the truth without malicious

intent – as long as there's

not malicious intent I think it's something

that we do. It's almost a societal norm

that it's become where it is acceptable

that we do tell certain lies at certain

times.

Neil: Dr Chris Boyle there. What colour is

the kind of lie he was talking about?

Rob: It's a white lie. He says a white lie is just

a distortion of the truth. Distortion here

means a changing or bending of the truth.

These kind of lies are OK as long as we

don’t tell them because we want to hurt

someone.

Neil: He used the phrase malicious intent

to talk about a bad reason for doing

something, didn’t he?

Rob: Yes, intent is the reason or purpose

for doing something and malicious

is an adjective which means cruel or

nasty. So without malicious intent

means without wanting to hurt or be

cruel to someone.

Neil: He said that this kind of white lie

was almost a societal norm. Can you

explain what he means by that?

Rob: Yes, something that is the norm is

something that is expected, it’s

regular and usual. The adjective 'societal'

comes from the noun society.

So a societal norm is something that is

regular and common in your culture or

society.

Neil: So do you think your mum’s story

about the hamster and the farm was

a little white lie?

Rob: Yes, I’m sure it was. She didn’t do it

with malicious intent - she didn’t want

to hurt me. In fact, just the opposite, she

wanted to protect me.

Neil: Yes, that’s one kind of white lie that

parents tell, to protect children.

There are also a couple of other reasons.

One being the parent’s convenience.

Rob: Yes, I remember my mum telling me

on certain days, the park wasn’t open.

I know now that it never closed, I guess at

the time she was just too busy to take me.

Neil: And then there are the cultural lies

that parents tell children.

Rob: What do you mean by that?

Neil: Well first, if you have any children

listening to this right now, you might want

to cover their ears for a few seconds.

Rob I’m talking about, for example,

Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy.

Rob: Yes, there’s no malicious intent in

telling children those stories. It is a

cultural and societal norm.

Neil: Let’s listen to Dr Chris Boyle again

talking about white lies.

Dr Chris Boyle: A white lie is just a

distortion of the truth without

malicious intent – so as long as there's

not malicious intent I think it's something

that we do. It's almost a societal norm that

it's become where it is acceptable that we

do tell certain lies at certain

times.

Neil: So now back to our question at the

top of the programme. I asked what

percentage of people will lie in a typical

ten minute conversation.

Was it: a) 40%, b) 50%, or c) 60%?

What did you say Rob?

Rob: I said a) just 40%.

Neil: Well I'm afraid the answer was 60%.

Rob: Really? Goodness 60%! That's more

than I expected.

Neil: Right, well before we go, let’s recap

the vocabulary we talked about today. The

first expression was 'white lie'. A lie we

tell without meaning to hurt someone, for

example when I say to you – you look

nice today!

Rob: Wait, what did you say?

Neil: But that is actually a distortion of the

truth. A changing or bending of the truth.

Rob: Mmmm. This makes me think of the

next expression,

'malicious intent'. Intent is the reason or

purpose for doing something, and doing

something with a malicious intent is

doing it deliberately to be cruel or to hurt

someone. I think you have a malicious

intent, telling me that when

you say I look nice, it’s just a lie!

Neil: I’m just kidding!

Rob: That’s the norm for you, isn’t it, just

kidding. A 'norm' is the standard or

‘normal’ way that something is. In the clip

we heard societal norm' which is the

or ‘normal’ way something is done in

society.

Neil: For example, telling children about

Father Christmas.

Rob: Sssh!

Neil: Well, sadly this isn’t a lie but that's

all for this programme. For more, find us

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where you can find all kinds of other

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to help you improve your English. Thanks

for joining us and goodbye!

Rob: Bye.