DON'T ASK me about my ACCENT

Hey, it's a Hadar and this is the Accent's Way.

And today we are going to talk about why it is not okay to comment on someone else's accent.

So this video is mostly for native speakers who think that saying something like "oh you have a cute accent" or

"Your accent is so exotic" and "where are you from because you don't sound like you're from here." It's a way to start a conversation

Because it's fun and nice and interesting.

It's not cute. It's not funny

if you think it's positive it's because you think it's positive, but you have no idea what's going on in our heads when we

Hear someone talking about our accent

So here's the real truth behind what's going on in our head:

did I make a mistake?

She probably thinks I'm stupid now

was I that bad?

Ugh! I worked so hard on my accent.

Was that my R?

What did I say?

I thought my English was better by now.

Was I not clear?

I don't want to talk about where I'm from

Just like you wouldn't talk about someone's weight or skin colour or sexual orientation

You shouldn't talk about someone else's accent. You don't know what their journey is. You don't know where that meets them

You don't know what Emotions

it generates.. Why put them in a state where they feel like they have to prove themselves with that simple

Silly question. I've had students who have been living in the US for over 20 years and they still had an accent

totally legit, right?

People would ask them where they're from.

I'm from here, dude. Why are you asking me where I'm from?

Because while you don't take it as a big deal, and maybe you do think it's something positive

it may not be positive for the other person especially if this person is going through a lot of

Struggles with their identity and how they sound and how they feel about how they sound because speaking a second language

It's not something that is easy on a mental level

you really need to have the right mindset and the confidence to speak up and when you're being

Constantly indicated that there is something different about you. It's really hard to break that.

Even if it wasn't your intention, okay?

so even saying something

cute about their accent, about how exotic it is, or how how funny and sweet it is and "no you shouldn't change that!"

I mean

It doesn't matter what you think it really matters what the other person thinks.

When we become self-conscious about our English it affects our entire conversation

Because then we're less fluent, we're more self-conscious, we get stuck a lot more

and we make silly mistakes!

Of course an accent is a good thing and an accent shows the history of the person and an accent shows that they speak

More than one language and that's pretty incredible

But it doesn't matter because you can't mess with someone else's brain and head and limiting beliefs

So you need to be aware of that now, I'm very lucky because I don't experience that anymore

I have come a long way with how I feel about Who I am

My identity as a non-native speaker and my English and I know that even though it's not perfect

and it's not, and I still get a lot of comments on how I sound and my mistakes and my

Accent... I choose not to care about it. I'm super proud of Who I am right now

I'm super proud of the fact that I'm not perfect and I'm never gonna be perfect and I'm not even

Concerned about working on my grammar issues because I know that right now my time should be invested in

Teaching others, and helping them get to where I am right now to save all the time that I've gone through, right? Those 10 years

My journey of 10 years and help people get that in one year. That's what I'm here for

I also remember how it used to be and how I felt and how it would

Completely ruin my day to hear someone saying something funny

About my English and I I see that all of the time with my community and my students around me

So I'm talking for true pain and I understand that it doesn't sound as if it's a big deal

but it is. So respect that, and

Acknowledge that. And I think it is so much better to empower people around you than to make them feel bad about who they are.

Ok, that's it. If you want to learn more with me come check out my website theaccentsway.com

theaccentsway.com, or click to subscribe and hit the bell

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Have a beautiful beautiful beautiful week

and I will see you next week in the next video.

Bye :) xoxo