Staying Safe on Facebook ( When learning English)

5,953 views ・ 2020-04-28

Accent's Way English with Hadar


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
Hey everyone, it's Hadar.
0
50
1420
00:01
Thank you so much for joining me.
1
1470
1909
00:03
Today we are going to talk about how to stay safe in a Facebook group.
2
3410
4800
00:08
Now, you're probably asking yourself, "How is English related to Facebook?"
3
8810
4319
00:13
Well, as you may or may not know, on Facebook you can find a ton of awesome
4
13779
5820
00:19
groups that are aimed at helping you improve your English, whether it's
5
19599
3870
00:23
groups that provides you with learning resources, or finding conversation
6
23469
4890
00:28
partners, or just as a practice platform.
7
28359
3240
00:32
I myself have a community on Facebook.
8
32034
3091
00:35
It's called the InFluency community and you're invited to join, of course.
9
35154
4021
00:39
But when you join such a group, there are a few things that you need to
10
39894
3150
00:43
know, especially if you're a woman.
11
43044
2761
00:46
And this is what I'm going to talk about today because my message goes first
12
46464
3390
00:49
and foremost for my community members.
13
49854
1891
00:51
That I want them to stay safe cause we as moderators and admins, we
14
51805
4769
00:56
try to keep everyone really safe.
15
56574
2370
00:59
But sometimes it's hard because there are things that we don't see.
16
59004
2671
01:01
So I want you to know that from our perspective as well, and to know what
17
61975
3990
01:05
are the things that you can do to stay safe and feel empowered, and feel
18
65965
5250
01:11
supported, and feel like you're actually making a difference without having
19
71215
3780
01:14
to push away negative comments, and harassment, and everything around it.
20
74995
6285
01:21
So I'm going to talk about online safety, but I'm also going to talk about how to
21
81310
4260
01:25
use your time on Facebook so you're not sucked into it, and you spend hours and
22
85570
5449
01:31
hours just like browsing through different posts without getting a lot out of it.
23
91019
4571
01:35
And then you think that it's your English practice, but it's not really.
24
95590
2910
01:38
So we're going to talk about that at the end.
25
98680
1680
01:41
So, about staying safe on Facebook.
26
101080
3449
01:44
I want to start, and again, this message is for the ladies in particular.
27
104845
4890
01:50
Of course, this is for you as well if you are a guy and you have been harassed
28
110245
5399
01:55
before, or got negative comments.
29
115644
2821
01:58
Because, of course, it's possible.
30
118465
1799
02:00
But I find that women are being harassed a lot more.
31
120955
3929
02:04
And like, usually, the people who do that to them, they don't even think
32
124975
4485
02:09
that they're doing anything wrong.
33
129460
1229
02:10
So instead of teaching people how to behave, I'm going to teach you
34
130960
4650
02:15
how to keep yourself safe online.
35
135610
2970
02:19
So first of all, you need to know that you don't need to put up with anything
36
139000
4649
02:23
that makes you feel uncomfortable.
37
143649
1650
02:25
You always have a choice.
38
145945
2280
02:28
So whether you post something, you comment or you make a video and
39
148434
4441
02:32
upload it to the group, you do not deserve to get negative comments.
40
152934
5761
02:38
If someone is commenting on your looks, or if you're married, or if you are
41
158934
5071
02:44
looking for a boyfriend, or you want to conversation partner, and you feel
42
164005
3870
02:47
that it's not genuine and you feel, and sometimes we think that, "Oh, they just
43
167875
4909
02:52
want to practice", and that's okay.
44
172784
2341
02:55
But then you have this feeling inside of you that it's not just that, right?
45
175544
4921
03:00
Like you, women know that, women know when it's not genuine.
46
180465
4510
03:04
Because a genuine invitation for conversation starts from small talk and
47
184995
5370
03:10
starts from interaction, not just by someone posting a video or a post and
48
190365
5365
03:15
then having someone else respond to it.
49
195730
1740
03:17
So you got to identify it and don't just try to be nice to
50
197710
3420
03:21
everyone and pay a high price.
51
201130
2100
03:23
Because I have seen so many women posting and being active, and they got so much
52
203410
5400
03:29
crappy comments and harassment, that they decided just to quit altogether.
53
209110
6434
03:35
And they left all Facebook groups.
54
215635
1620
03:37
And that doesn't benefit you, so you need to be able to speak back and comment
55
217524
4241
03:41
back without feeling that it's not okay.
56
221784
3151
03:45
You have permission to stand your ground and to say, "I don't accept
57
225205
5920
03:51
such a comment, and neither should the moderators, or neither should the admins".
58
231125
4799
03:56
Okay?
59
236164
480
03:56
So, report negative comments, speak back and trust that you will have the
60
236794
5760
04:02
support of the community and the admins.
61
242554
2610
04:05
And this message is also for those who observe such behavior.
62
245485
3240
04:08
If you see other people commenting inappropriate things or things that are
63
248875
4170
04:13
not related to the context of the person's post or video, you can also report it.
64
253045
6660
04:19
You can also comment on it.
65
259885
1590
04:21
You can also say, "Hey, this doesn't belong here".
66
261475
3450
04:25
Because we want to be there for our other friends, and we want to make
67
265135
5714
04:30
sure that it's a safe environment.
68
270849
1470
04:32
Because today it's her video, tomorrow it's going to be yours.
69
272319
3811
04:36
So it's really, really important that we let the people who make us feel bad,
70
276370
5849
04:42
who have those negative comments, who are there just to put us down, that
71
282219
3901
04:46
they don't belongs here, or there, or whatever Facebook group you're in.
72
286120
4740
04:51
And it's really not just about a Facebook group.
73
291159
2880
04:54
It can be anywhere online.
74
294039
1441
04:55
You just need to remember that you shouldn't put up with any Another
75
295480
4230
04:59
thing that usually happens, and this is something that people don't
76
299710
2579
05:02
usually discuss, is private messages.
77
302289
2821
05:06
So you join a group, you start interacting, you start commenting
78
306039
3601
05:09
on people's videos or posts.
79
309640
2100
05:11
Maybe you write your own posts, maybe you upload a video, and then you start
80
311949
4201
05:16
getting private messages from people who just want to be your friend, right?
81
316150
5159
05:21
Or friend requests.
82
321520
2039
05:23
And "Would you like to be my conversation partner?"
83
323949
4486
05:28
"Would you like to practice English together?"
84
328915
1950
05:31
Now, again, it's not only, but usually, it's men who write to women.
85
331345
6060
05:38
And this is, again, a place that I want to tell you that you don't have
86
338155
5370
05:43
to respond to all of those messages.
87
343525
3000
05:46
Because it starts that way and very easily it could escalate to harassment.
88
346945
6390
05:53
I have seen it way too many times.
89
353919
2520
05:56
I've heard about it from my community members way too many times, and
90
356469
4411
06:00
this is why I'm generalizing here.
91
360880
1919
06:03
And I'm saying, do not respond to private messages.
92
363100
3689
06:07
Just don't.
93
367449
750
06:08
You have two tools to help you with that.
94
368709
2041
06:10
One ignore messages, where you can just, where you stop seeing all that
95
370870
5309
06:16
person's messages, and that's it.
96
376179
1650
06:17
And they don't even know that.
97
377829
1171
06:20
Two if they're being rude and aggressive, cause
98
380039
3520
06:23
that happens too block.
99
383559
2161
06:26
That's it.
100
386319
720
06:27
Block, ignore messages.
101
387429
2431
06:30
Do that.
102
390250
630
06:31
Don't try to explain yourself, don't try to respond, do not try to be nice.
103
391270
5370
06:37
There is no room for being nice when you're being harassed.
104
397150
3090
06:40
And you have to understand that consistent persistent messages without
105
400510
4500
06:45
you're responding, or you're saying "No thank you", and you get another request
106
405010
3149
06:48
and another request, is harassment.
107
408159
2701
06:51
And a lot of times people, women in particular, don't report it.
108
411430
4680
06:56
And they don't think there is something wrong about it, and they just quit.
109
416140
3300
06:59
You do not need to lose because of other people's rude behavior,
110
419860
4890
07:04
or aggressive behavior.
111
424810
1350
07:06
Okay?
112
426490
420
07:07
And really, I'm speaking from the bottom of my heart because I've
113
427090
2820
07:09
seen women no longer engaged in interacting in a group because of
114
429910
5909
07:15
that, because of private messages.
115
435819
1651
07:17
So this does not need to happen to you.
116
437830
1920
07:19
Ignore messages or block that person.
117
439929
2911
07:23
And if that person is being rude, aggressive, or they're harassing you,
118
443140
4679
07:27
you also need to report him or her, if it's a woman, to the admins of the group.
119
447970
7920
07:35
Because that person shouldn't be in the group.
120
455919
3181
07:39
And if they stay in the group, leave the group.
121
459460
3390
07:43
Okay?
122
463330
660
07:44
Now, that was about safety on Facebook.
123
464560
3060
07:47
But you also need to save your time, so let's talk about that type of safety.
124
467650
5010
07:52
And that's for everyone, men and women.
125
472930
2070
07:55
Because you have to remember that when you go into those Facebook
126
475420
2910
07:58
groups, while they're very, very helpful, and a great resource and a
127
478330
4080
08:02
great place to meet people, you want to make sure that you are proactive.
128
482410
3900
08:06
Because it's very, very easy to just get sucked into the social media rabbit
129
486340
6130
08:12
hole and just watch other people's content, start feeling bad about
130
492470
4200
08:16
your own achievements and your own abilities and your own level of English.
131
496820
5340
08:22
And then start comparing yourself to others, um, and just consume content.
132
502340
4680
08:27
And that's passive learning.
133
507020
1680
08:28
It's not even learning, it's just social media, right?
134
508700
3950
08:32
Don't fool yourself that scrolling down the feed in a Facebook group
135
512710
5280
08:38
is helping you learn English.
136
518020
2804
08:40
Cause a lot of times it's not.
137
520824
1291
08:42
Unless you're proactive, unless you take the content that you get from
138
522115
3479
08:45
there and you do something about it.
139
525594
1681
08:47
Unless you create your own content, you write your own post, you write on
140
527605
6209
08:53
people's posts, but you do stuff that are more than just emoji or, "Great job".
141
533814
6200
09:00
Something that will challenge you.
142
540014
1856
09:02
So you have to challenge yourself cause no one will be there to tell you what to do.
143
542140
4680
09:07
And you have to manage your time and manage the things that you do there
144
547210
5130
09:12
and the things that you get from there.
145
552340
1350
09:13
And not only it's going to help you as a learner because you will be
146
553720
4650
09:18
creating content, having people wanting to interact with you you will also
147
558370
4800
09:23
contribute to the community as a whole.
148
563170
3125
09:26
So this is something that you need to keep in mind and also, make
149
566474
3630
09:30
sure to limit your time on Facebook when it comes to English learning.
150
570104
5801
09:35
Because again, it's very valuable, but probably other things that you
151
575935
4019
09:39
might be doing, like actual practice, speaking with people, doing speech
152
579954
6550
09:46
exercises that would move you more forward than just consuming content.
153
586525
5309
09:52
Okay?
154
592285
510
09:53
Now here's what I want from you.
155
593064
1500
09:54
I want you to let me know in the comments below a great Facebook story about
156
594564
4801
09:59
someone that you met, a video that you watched, a great group that you are in.
157
599365
5040
10:04
And share it with us in the comments below.
158
604795
2309
10:07
So let's bring all the positive stuff and remind ourselves how lucky we
159
607104
4351
10:11
are to have this online platform, especially at a time like this.
160
611455
4645
10:16
Where we need to go inside and hide, and social distance ourselves from others
161
616219
4980
10:21
because this is the Corona crisis.
162
621199
2250
10:23
But we can still interact with each other using those Facebook groups.
163
623540
4500
10:28
It's just how we use them that matters.
164
628219
2020
10:30
Thank you so much for watching.
165
630665
1320
10:31
And again, if you want to be a part of the InFluency community on Facebook,
166
631985
3869
10:36
then come on over and make sure you answer the questions cause we do accept
167
636124
3480
10:39
only people who answer both questions.
168
639604
1891
10:41
And be a part of the weekly conversations, weekly activities, and a lot of fun stuff.
169
641795
7105
10:49
So take care, be safe, and I'll see you in the next video. Bye.
170
649199
11901
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7