Go From EXHAUSTED To EFFORTLESS When Speaking English With This One Simple Tip

26,951 views ・ 2021-12-14

Accent's Way English with Hadar


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
Hey, everyone, it's Hadar.
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And today we are going to talk about the one thing that is potentially
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preventing you from feeling like yourself in English and investing a
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lot less energy when you're speaking.
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If you're new to my channel, then welcome.
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My name is Hadar.
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I'm a non-native speaker of English.
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So, I have discovered myself in my own personal journey.
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So many of the things that I shared with you here, whether it's about
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pronunciation, mindset, fluency flow, or just overall confidence.
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And if you want to connect with me, you are invited to come on over and follow
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me on Instagram at @hadar.accentsway.
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And on my website hadarshemesh.com - which is my name dot com - you will find a
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ton of resources to download and to practice with, to improve your confidence,
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clarity, and freedom in English.
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Okay.
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So let's talk about what is the one thing that you're not aware
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of that is preventing you from feeling effortless, when speaking.
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I decided to make this video after seeing so many of my students
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struggle with this one thing.
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And every time I tell them that one note that is easy to change, all
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of a sudden their voice changes, their attitude changes, and they
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feel better when communicating.
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And it has nothing to do with grammar, pronunciation, or anything
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else that, you know, we usually work on when speaking English.
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And that one thing is hidden involuntary tension.
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Okay.
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So, I know it sounds, one - very simple, two - very vague.
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I mean, what's...
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what do you mean about tension?
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Let me explain.
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Tension is excess energy, that means that you are investing
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more energy than you should.
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Let me give you an example.
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For example, if you need to blow out a candle.
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And the candle is right here.
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Right?
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How much effort are you going to put into blowing out that candle?
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Are you going to do something like this?
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Or are you going to do something like this?
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Right?
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It makes more sense that we would just blow out the candle like this because
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the flame is really close to my mouth.
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Of course, if the candle was here, then I would need to invest more energy.
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Right?
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So, the amount of energy that I'm investing in doing something is in
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correlation with the action itself.
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Same thing with a simple thing as opening a notebook, right?
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It could just, you know, open it and browse through the pages.
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Or you could open it and invest a lot of energy into flipping between the pages and
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then closing it, putting it on the table.
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Now, that feels a little exaggerated.
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I'm not saying that people might not do that.
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But you're less likely to do it, right?
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If you're just like picking up a notebook and you're flipping through the pages.
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Something very simple and easy.
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Now, that's the case with speaking in English.
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What I noticed is that when people communicate in English, whether it's
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about focusing on pronunciation, even structuring the sentence, like
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the mental energy that we invest in speaking, body language, right, like
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the tension that we have in the body and the effort that we put into the voice.
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All of that is usually much enhanced when people communicate in a second language.
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Take a moment and think about it.
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To illustrate that we can do a quick exercise right now.
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Pause this video and talk about the first five things that you did
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this morning, and do it in English.
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And then I want you to do the same thing in your first language.
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Okay?
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And then check with yourself.
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How did my body feel when I spoke in English versus when
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I spoke in my first language?
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How did my voice feel?
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Did it feel the same or did it feel like I'm changing the voice
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or I'm working a little harder?
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What about your face?
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Were you investing more energy or you feel like you're working a little harder and
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maybe that feels a little fake in English?
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So, a lot of times we think that it's necessary to produce the right
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sounds or to, you know, step into the role of, you know, "I'm speaking now
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with an American or British accent."
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And the truth is that it's not serving you.
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Just like you wouldn't blow out a candle like this.
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Same thing goes for pronunciation.
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The first thing I want you to check in with yourself is facial tension.
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A lot of times when pronouncing consonants that are not available in your first
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language, let's say the TH or the R.
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What happens is that people start to invest a lot of unnecessary tension here.
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So for example, you will see people speaking like this with a lot of tension
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around the mouth, more tension here.
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'ur', right?
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More tension when sticking the tongue out, in the lips and the tongue.
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'think', 'theory', 'authentic'.
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Now, tension attracts tension.
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So when you start with a little unnecessary tension, like for the TH or
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the R or in general, when you're trying to pronounce certain consonants, like
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the 'a' and the 'ee' because you've gotten used to practicing it with a lot
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of effort, but you forgot about the part that you need to let go of that tension.
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And you kept that tension and you've made it your habit.
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Or maybe you have developed this belief that only if you have
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that tension, you're getting the sounds accurately and correctly.
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And as a result, there's all this tension.
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Now, this tension creates tension in your voice, right?
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A strained voice is a voice that you invest more energy into, and you're
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holding tension here, in your pharynx.
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Pharynx is like the vocal box, there are some muscles here that you can strain.
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Maybe the root of the tongue, that changes your voice too.
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And sometimes your shoulders, right?
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And your hands, and the rest of your body.
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So, check in with yourself when you're speaking English.
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Do you hold tension in your hands?
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Do you hold tension in your shoulders?
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And most importantly, do you hold tension in your face?
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One of the best ways to see it is to put a mirror or to record a video.
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And look at your mouth, and see if that happens - if you look
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as natural to yourself as you do in your native language.
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Now, again, don't go into that false belief that your mouth
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needs to look totally different than your native language.
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Yes, English uses a lot of facial expressions and movements
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of the articulation organs, like for the 'a' and the 'oo'.
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But make sure that you're not adding another layer of stress.
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'A', right, like putting tension here.
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Or 'EE', here.
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Or 'UR', here.
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You can do the same thing with a lot less tension.
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And you can see it.
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So record a video, use a mirror, and see if you're investing
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too much tension in here.
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Okay?
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And then ask yourself, what is happening with my voice?
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Is my voice as comfortable and effortless as it is in my first language?
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If the answer is 'no', check in with yourself and ask yourself, am
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I putting a lot of tension here?
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Right?
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Maybe the voice is a little higher.
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Maybe the voice is a little more strained.
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But these are things that you want to ask yourself.
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Go back to your first language, speak a little bit.
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And if you feel more comfortable, ask yourself, what does that effortless
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feel that I'm feeling right now, and how can I bring it into English?
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How can I use the words in English with this voice that is more
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comfortable and more effortless?
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And then of course, check your body for tension.
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Sometimes it's just a matter of letting go.
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Right?
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I often find myself working on my computer and tensing my shoulders
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without thinking about it.
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And every now and then I need to tell myself, let go.
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And all I do is this.
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And it doesn't change the work that I actually do.
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So this is unnecessary tension that creates back pain,
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right, and nervous energy.
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Because again, tension attracts tension.
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So if I'm holding my shoulders like this, then probably it
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affects my overall stress.
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Now, probably because I'm stressed, this is what happens.
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So, we constantly need to check in with ourselves, and to make sure that
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we're not investing more energy and more effort into speaking than we need.
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And again, of course, if you feel stressed out about speaking, it will
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be represented in different places in your body, like your shoulders or your
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hands or your voice or your mouth.
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So it could be just old habits, old pronunciation habits, and like a false
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belief that this is what you need to do.
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But it could be just tension, right, or stress that creates this tension.
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This tension makes you feel tired and exhausted after speaking.
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Here's the thing.
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Communication is way beyond the language that we use.
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We become a vessel of communication.
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That means that our voice plays a significant role, our body,
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our mindset, our thoughts, right?
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It's not just the words that we choose and it's not just the sounds that we produce.
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And it's not just the structure of the words.
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Communicating effectively in English is a holistic process.
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And this is what I'm trying to do here, on my channel, to teach
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you about all the things that go into powerful communication.
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And a big part of it is making sure that you're not investing more energy than you
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should in communicating and more tension.
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So, to wrap up.
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Make sure that you're not investing a lot of energy and tension into your mouth.
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Specifically, your lips and your cheeks, right?
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Around the lips and the cheeks.
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That's the first thing.
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And use a mirror or a webcam for that.
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Then, check in with your voice.
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I have a bunch of videos about using your voice freely and freeing up the
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voice and releasing that tension.
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If in fact, this is what you're experiencing.
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So I'm going to link to those videos and episodes in the description.
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And then the third thing is you constantly want to check in with your body.
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And to make sure that you're not holding tension when communicating.
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And if you're walking into an important meeting or any conversation
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in English, it would be good to kind of like center yourself for
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a few seconds to think about...
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to do like this mindfulness exercise.
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To think about your body, go through your body, all the organs, just like tell your
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body to relax, tell your voice to relax.
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You know, tell yourself, "I got this.
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I know how to speak in English".
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And even if you're not 100% certain of the words that you're going to use or what
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exactly you're going to say, trust that it will happen if you allow space for it.
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And if you come to a conversation positive, with the one will - which
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is to communicate with another person, to actually make a connection.
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Because when you make a connection, grammar mistakes, don't matter.
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And if you're not understood for one second because you have confused
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your consonants or vowels, it's not a problem if there is a connection
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between you and the other person, right?
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So that tension that you feel also centers all your attention on yourself rather
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than on the person in front of you.
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Right?
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So sometimes just shifting the focus to whoever it is you're speaking with.
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And it doesn't matter if it's your boss or, you know, the person at
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the cashier, it doesn't matter.
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When you're making it about them, there's something very relaxing
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about it and less nerve-wrecking.
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Right?
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So, it all kind of goes together.
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Okay.
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So that's it.
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That was the one thing that you're probably unaware of that you
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have developed throughout your practice or speaking experience.
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And maybe if you make that one shift, cause it's very instantaneous,
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right, like to let go of tension.
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You do it immediately.
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But then habits kick in and you will find yourself, all of a sudden, you
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know, going back to the previous state where you put in a lot of tension.
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That is okay, it's just like you need to remind yourself several times
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until you make that a new habit.
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So it's a little bit of work, but it's not, you know, it's not hard work.
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It's just awareness, and commitment, and consistency.
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So I hope that this will allow you to find more freedom and feel more like
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yourself when communicating in English.
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If you want more lessons that will help you achieve just that, come on
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over to my website at hadarshemesh.com, where you'll find a bunch of different
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resources to help you get there.
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And if you enjoyed this specific episode, and if you have something to share with
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the community or to share with us, if this has shed a light around why you feel maybe
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stressed or uncomfortable or tired after speaking English, then let us know in the
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comments and tell us what you're going to do about it to improve from now on.
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Thank you so, so much for being here.
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Don't forget to subscribe if you haven't yet.
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I will see you next week in the next video.
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Bye.
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