Want to Feel More Confident Speaking English? Small Talk FTW! (24 Phrases to Use)

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- Small talk is a way for two people

who don't know each other to have a conversation.

So, it's not a deep conversation

but it can lead into a deeper

and more meaningful conversation

once you have established some type

of small talk discussion.

So this lesson is going to give you phrases

that you can use to engage in small talk

with English speakers so you can get more practice

and also so you can overcome your fear of speaking.

Now, when you meet somebody new, people often ask

similar questions, again and again.

And a lot of this does depend on the situation

that you are in, but once they know you

and once they want to know what you do,

where you're from, et cetera,

then you'll find yourself answering

the same questions again and again.

So it makes sense to practice this area of English

so you can answer these questions

in an effortless way.

Now, this lesson is going to be split up

into two parts.

Firstly, we're going to look at different situations

where small talk is often used,

and then we are actually going to look

at different topics that you can use

when engaging in small talk.

And what I also recommend that you do

is check out the description

because there'll be a list of phrases

that we have used in this lesson.

Before we get started I do want to introduce

a really cool phrase here,

because before engaging in small talk

you might have to break the ice, to break the ice.

Now, a lot of you might know what this means.

If you don't, it's when nobody is speaking

in a certain situation

and then that first person says something,

this is breaking the ice.

So I imagine you could think of a situation

where you're in a group of people

and nobody is talking

and then suddenly, somebody says something

and then a discussion gets going.

So, it's a good idea to break the ice

before engaging in small talk.

And a very simple way to do this is to simply say,

hi, I'm Jack, or hi, I'm Claire, whatever name

that you have.

Okay, let's start with a situation in which small talk

is often used, and this is a fun one

because you're now at a wedding.

Okay, so you're at John and Sarah's wedding

and you're sitting around a table

and you don't know anybody there.

Usually, it's quite quiet.

Nobody says anything until somebody says

hi, I'm Jack, and you have broken the ice

and now it's time to engage in small talk.

I think the number one question to ask here

is, how do you know John and Sarah?

How do you know John and Sarah?

This is common ground, or what is known

as common ground, where you have something in common.

You both know the bride and groom

but you don't know how you know the bride and groom,

so you can ask, how do you know John and Sarah?

If somebody asks you this, you can say, oh,

I know them from school, I know them from work,

I grew up with John, I've met Sarah recently.

So that's a very common question to ask

at a wedding, and it's good to think about

what kind of answer you're going to give

if you are in this situation.

Another question that people ask

in this situation is, where have you traveled from?

Where have you traveled from?

Because when people go to a wedding, they usually travel

from across the country

and sometimes from different countries.

So you can just ask, where have you traveled from?

And again, this might lead

into a more meaningful conversation.

If the person has traveled from a different city

or country, or if it's a destination wedding,

you can ask them, have you been here before?

Have you been to Sydney before?

Have you been to Asheville before?

And then again this leads into a conversation

about travel, about different topics.

For the second situation, let's imagine

that you work for a company with a thousand employees,

all from different branches,

and then your company puts on an event,

let's say its a Christmas party just before Christmas,

and you turn up to this event and you don't know

a lot of people, so again you break the ice

and say hi, I'm Jack, and then you can say,

which branch do you work at?

Which branch do you work at?

Again, it's a very simple question

that leads into a different type of discussion.

Or, you can say, what do you do at this company?

What do you do at this company?

To establish some common ground, you might ask

if this person knows somebody who you also know

so that you can talk about this person

and understand that you both share something in common.

And then from there you can just describe the situation

in which you are in, like you can say,

this has been such a good event.

Are you having fun too?

Or, this food is amazing.

I'm surprised it's so good.

This is small talk that leads

into different types of conversations.

The next example is if you are at a party.

So, imagine you have been invited

to a house party where you are celebrating

a birthday, and you turn up to the party,

and again, you don't really know anybody.

And I have to say at this point,

this can sometimes be really awkward

where you don't know anybody at a party

and if other people seem to know other people

it might be difficult for you to fit in.

But this is where small talk can help you.

So, you can say things like,

this chili is delicious,

or these burgers are amazing.

So, you can talk about the food and give your opinion

on the food, or you can ask again,

how do you know John and Sarah?

Or, how do you know Paul, whose birthday party it is?

How do you know Paul?

This just leads into different topics.

And then another thing that people do

and I think this is specific to women, from my experience,

is to compliment somebody on their dress,

on their purse, on their shoes, et cetera,

but something that you can compliment anyone on

is the house.

Oh, your house is great.

I love this house.

You have a beautiful backyard.

Just to give compliments to make people

a little bit more at ease.

So, those are some situations where small talk

is often used.

But, it's also good to know the type of topics

that people use when engaging in small talk

no matter the situation.

And the number one thing to talk about is weather, okay.

The weather, and saying things like,

oh, it's so hot outside today.

So, you're at a party, you don't know anyone,

you come in, it's so hot out there.

It feels great in here.

Or, once you start talking a little more

about the weather, it's gonna cool down soon,

it's gonna get really hot next week.

Now, I made a video on different phrases

that you can use to talk about temperature,

so go check that out,

because it's going to be very useful

for any type of situation.

Another topic that people like to discuss

is the news.

Now, be a little bit careful here

because there are certain news stories

that are very divisive, where people feel very emotional

about and they have strong opinions about.

Usually that comes on a little bit later

than small talk, but there are certain news stories

that are fun to talk about.

For example, I remember engaging in small talk

and saying did you hear about the bear

that got into a woman's car in North Asheville?

So, there's this story of where a bear opened

the car door and got into the car

and somebody took a picture of it

so it's a fun story to talk about

that actually leads into a further discussion

about bears, how prevalent they are right now,

and just how amazing it is to live among bears

in your neighborhood.

So, certain news stories are worth talking about

and aren't as divisive as others.

You can just say simply, like, what building

are they constructing across the road?

Or, have you been to that new restaurant in town?

All these little local news stories

can help you engage in small talk.

Another common topic is sports.

So it might depend on the person

if you can actually talk about sports,

but just to give you an example,

when people know I'm from the UK they'll often ask me

about football or soccer

and ask me which team I support.

So they know people from the UK love football,

luckily I love football so I can always answer

in a positive way, so they ask questions about that.

So just, for example, which team do you follow,

which team do you support?

If I say I live near Manchester people often ask me,

oh, do you follow Manchester City or Manchester United.

And that's when I tell them, no, I support

Preston North End and they don't know

who Preston North End are, but!

Again, this is a way to talk

about different types of things.

And sports can be a little bit tricky like I said

because you don't know if that person

is a sports fan or not,

but if they are wearing a sports cap,

if they just seem to be a sports person

then you can ask them about teams they support,

what kind of sports they like,

if they watched the Super Bowl,

so a sort of simple question is,

did you watch the Super Bowl last night?

Did you watch the Super Bowl last week?

And then, if you're a sports fan you can actually get

into a great discussion about sports

once you've engaged in that initial smalltalk.

So, in summary there are various phrases that you can use

to engage in small talk with somebody,

and again the key is just so that

it's just a great way to start a conversation with somebody.

It's like a rule to follow,

like certain rules to follow,

where you just don't go up to somebody

you don't know and ask them if they believe in God

and get into a deep discussion straight away.

Instead, you want to ask certain questions

and see if you can find some common ground

with this person.

So, it could be sports, it just could be

certain news stories, you don't know

where it might lead.

You might ask them a question about the weather

and then talk about how you both lived in Spain

and it was so hot while you lived there.

And then you have something in common and this, again,

leads to a great discussion.

So, use small talk as a tool, but remember

you'll need to break the ice first as well.

Now, if you want to internalize these types

of phrases to learn more questions

for small talk, then join the To Fluency Program.

I have a lot of phrases that you can download

and memory cards that you can use

so that you can internalize these phrases

and so that you can learn grammar

at the same time and build your fluency

so that when you are talking with people,

these types of questions and answers will just

come out effortlessly.

So, definitely check out the To Fluency Program

if you want to learn more about that.

Thank you for watching this lesson,

please like and share it,

and while you're here,

take a look at another one of my lessons.

Okay, bye for now.

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