14 Ways to Talk about Mixed Feelings in English [+ When You Don't Know How You Feel]

In today's Confident English lesson.

I'm answering a question I received here on YouTube several months ago.

I shared a lesson on 23 different ways to talk about how you feel in

English.

And the goal was to give you a variety of options or better alternatives when

you're talking about feeling happy, angry, confused, or sad.

In the comments I saw this question, "I loved this lesson,

but I would like to know how to express that feeling when you don't know how

you feel. I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say." Adriana.

I absolutely understand what you're trying to say.

Emotions are super complex and sometimes we just don't know how we

feel. We might have a strong, emotional reaction to something,

but we can't really name or describe the exact feeling. In fact,

just yesterday,

I went on a walk with my husband and he was describing a complicated,

frustrating situation he has at work. And while he was talking about it,

he said, I think I feel angry about it, but I don't really know.

So what do you say in a conversation when something complicated is

happening and again, you just don't know how you feel about it?

That is exactly what we're going to focus on in today's Confident English

lesson. If you don't already know, I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English,

everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you need for your

life and work in English.

I want you to feel confident when you're talking about how you feel,

whether it's something simple, like feeling happy or excited,

or it's more complex,

and you really don't know how to describe it or name it in this

lesson today.

Not only will you learn what to say when you don't know how you feel,

but we'll also talk about questions.

You can ask a loved one when they're struggling to figure things out as well.

[Inaudible].

Let's get started today with what to say when you don't know how you feel or

what to say when you're confused or mixed.

And then we'll finish with some great questions to ask others when they're

struggling with that same complexity.

First here are five ways to express that you don't know how you feel.

And the first one is one of my favorites to be unable to pin

something down.

To pin something down means to understand or describe something

exactly. And of course here, we're talking about the opposite.

The inability to understand or describe something exactly.

So if you're struggling with a particular feeling or emotion,

you're just not sure what you think or feel. You can say,

I'm really struggling to pin down how I feel about this,

or I can't pin down my feelings or I can't pin down how I

feel about this. Similarly, we can say I can't put my finger on,

for example, I can't put my finger on how I feel about it,

but something just isn't right.

A verb that we often use when we're having a difficult time identifying or

talking about how we feel is to struggle.

I'm struggling to figure out how I feel about this job offer.

I'm struggling to figure out how I really feel about this upcoming move.

Another great expression to use that is idiomatic is to not

have the foggiest idea.

This idiomatic expression means to not know or understand something

at all. I don't have the foggiest idea how I feel about this right now.

I don't have the foggiest idea how I feel about this new client.

Number four on our list of what to say when you don't know how you feel

is it's beyond me.

We use this to say that something is too puzzling,

confusing or astonishing for us to explain it.

We just can't figure it out.

This particular expression is rather powerful. So I wouldn't use it.

If I watched a movie and had a mix of feelings about the movie,

instead,

if there was a significant life transition or something big changing within my

company. And again,

I was struggling to identify how I feel about this major transition.

Then I might say it's beyond me. I really don't know how I feel about it.

The last one on our list for what to say,

when you don't know how you feel is to use, to be unable,

to make something out.

What this means is that you're not able to determine I can't make out how I

feel about this right now.

Now that you have several different ways to talk about how you feel when you

don't know the feeling,

let's move on to what you can say when you do know how you feel,

but it's a huge, complicated mix.

It might be a combination of opposing feelings at the same time.

For example, if you have an upcoming move, you might be excited,

but also really nervous or even scared about the upcoming move.

Similarly, if you have a big decision to make,

there may be two or three options,

and you just aren't sure how you feel about all of them at this time.

When all of this happens, a very simple way to talk about it is to say,

I have mixed feelings.

I have mixed feelings about traveling this summer.

Another great expression is to be all over the place.

A common question that I hear right now is how are you doing after a year of

COVID? And my answer is I'm all over the place.

What that means is I don't have one simple single feeling about it and

my feelings about all of it can change multiple times throughout the day.

I'm all over the place. In a previous lesson of mine,

I talked about feeling uncertainty and doubt.

Sometimes uncertainty is the result of mixed feelings.

When that happens, you might say that you're on the fence about something,

or you're torn between if there are multiple options,

you might be torn between those options.

You're not sure how you feel or what you want to decide.

For example,

I'm on the fence about whether to take the job offer I'm torn

between whether or not to take the job offer.

Now that we have a variety of ways to talk about those complex emotions or

simply not knowing how we feel.

Let's talk about questions you can use with loved ones.

When they have those feelings,

what questions can you ask to help them figure it out?

I mentioned at the beginning of this video, that just yesterday,

my husband and I were on a walk and he was struggling to figure out how he felt

about this complicated, frustrating situation at work.

So my response was let's walk through it. In other words,

it was an invitation for him to share whatever he needed about what was

happening at work. My job was to listen. And through that process,

he was able to figure out how he felt and what he needed to do.

Let's walk through it or let's walk through what happened.

Similar to that is you can simply say, tell me more about your thoughts. Again,

it's an invitation for someone else to open up and share.

And in that process, hopefully come to a conclusion.

You might also offer to talk about the pros and cons with someone

or explore the pros and cons.

If someone is on the fence about a decision, you could say,

let's explore the pros and cons. If someone, you know,

is struggling to name or identify how they're feeling, you might ask them,

what's causing you to feel conflicted.

What's causing you to feel uncertain or what feels

right to you about this situation. What doesn't feel right to you?

As always,

not only do I want to help you learn new ways to express yourself in English,

but I want you to remember what you've learned and use it in conversation

naturally, the best way to do that is to practice.

So what I recommend is to choose one or two new expressions

or idiomatic phrases that you learned today and try using them in your own

example, sentences,

whether you have some complex emotions right now on something happening in your

life, or, you know,

someone else who is try talking about it with one of the new phrases

that you learned today in this lesson, if you want,

you can share your examples with me in the comments below the video.

That's also the best place to share any comments or questions you have.

If you found this lesson useful to you, I would love to know.

And you can tell me in one very simple way,

give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube. And while you're at it,

subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.

So you never miss one of my Confident English lessons have a fantastic

week. Thank you for joining me.

And I look forward to seeing you next time for your Confident English lesson.