Communicate Easily in English — 3 Strategies for Shy Speakers

95,112 views ・ 2020-03-18

Speak Confident English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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Hey, it's Annemarie with Speak Confident English.
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This is exactly where you want to be every week to get the confidence you want
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for your life and work in English.
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Two weeks ago I interviewed one of my students, Ana from Spain.
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When I asked her about what her life was like after Fluency School,
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she said before Fluency School, I felt stuck. Desperate.
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I was sick and tired with wasting time in traditional classes,
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but after Fluency School, I felt powerful.
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I felt confident because now I don't need to feel insecure anywhere.
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I don't feel nervous because now I have the tools.
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I know how to get unstuck. Isn't that amazing? To feel powerful.
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That same week when I interviewed Ana,
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I got two emails that completely broke my heart.
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One of them said,
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my problem is that on paper my English is supposed to be good,
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but in real life I'm still super frustrated with the way I speak and then she
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asked,
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what's the point of all my academic and professional skills if I can't express
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myself with ease on the same day, I got another email that said,
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I feel every time struggling with the appropriate words regretting later about
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my mistakes coming back home and fighting with my own self and asking why did
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this happen again?
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I'm curious which one of those describes you best?
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Do you feel like Ana, where you feel powerful,
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you feel that you have the tools to get unstuck and you don't feel nervous
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anymore?
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Or are you wondering why you have spent so much time,
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effort, money,
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and energy to finally communicate well in English and you still can't do it?
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Are you still fighting with yourself about why you get stuck?
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Forget words or feel nervous in a conversation?
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If you feel more like those last two emails,
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there are three things I want you to know. Number one, you're not alone.
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Number two, you're not bad at English. And number three,
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it is possible for you to feel powerful,
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to feel confident and to have the tools that get you unstuck in English so that
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you can participate in any conversation and share your ideas successfully.
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I know that because this is what I do.
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It's exactly why I created Speak Confident English and Fluency School.
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It's why I do these videos every Wednesday.
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My goal is always to help women around the world develop true confidence and
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fluency in English so that you can do whatever you want in your life using
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English,
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so if you're feeling frustrated or you're worried about making mistakes,
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if you always get stuck in a conversation and freeze,
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you lose the words that you want to say.
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If you're afraid that it's just not possible for you to communicate confidently
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in English than today, that's exactly what we're going to help you do.
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In this lesson,
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we're going to talk about how to communicate easily in English.
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All right. Before we dive in and get started,
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I have two things that I definitely recommend you do if you haven't yet.
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Number one,
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I recommend that you get my free in depth training on how to say what you want
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in English. In that training,
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I share my number one strategy to effectively make progress in your English
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confidence and fluency.
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It's one of the same strategies I use with all of my students.
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And number two, every year I open my Fluency School course two times:
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in spring and fall. Before I open Fluency School,
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I always start with a three-part video training series that is completely free.
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In that training series, I highlight how to speak clearly,
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get unstuck and sound natural in English.
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It's a little sneak peek of what Fluency School is all about and I definitely
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recommend that you review those training videos.
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The best way to do that is to get on the Fluency School waitlist and when you do
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that, you'll automatically get that free training. Now,
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that particular training is unique because I only share that training before
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Fluency School opens and it's available for a limited period of time,
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so get on the waitlist and watch your email inbox for when that training begins.
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Those are two easy ways to immediately get started and make progress in your
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English confidence and fluency.
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And now let's get back to three simple strategies you can use to communicate
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with ease in English.
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And I have to tell you that these strategies are perfect if you're a shy
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introverted speaker. In fact,
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I created Speak Confident English specifically for naturally shy introverted
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speakers and everyone on the Speak Confident English team is also naturally shy
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and introverted.
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We love helping other women just like us get the confidence they want to express
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themselves clearly. So why introverts?
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As an introvert, you might often be shy even in your native language.
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When speaking, as introverts,
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we often prefer to observe and listen and we also prefer to have more
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uninterrupted time to think.
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We like having all our ideas organized and we want to choose our words carefully
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so that we can express exactly what we want to say.
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We're not so comfortable speaking with mistakes or trying to think out loud.
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In fact, making a mistake in public is an absolute nightmare.
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Do you feel the same about all of those things?
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These realities of being an introvert definitely create challenges when you're
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trying to learn how to speak clearly and confidently in a new language,
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but it's not impossible and there are some strengths that introverts have that
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actually make them fantastic communicators,
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especially when they learn how to develop that confidence and to be in control
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of what they're saying.
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That's what we're going to focus on to help you communicate easily in English.
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So strategy number one, practice pausing.
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This is something I focus on in that free Fluency School training that I told
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you about,
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so I'm not going to spend a lot of time in this video going into the details,
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but when I say practice pausing,
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it means learn to use short little pauses in between your sentences or in
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between your ideas as you speak. When I say that,
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I don't mean using a long pause like
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like that and then continuing,
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but just short little ones in between the different phrases,
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groups of words or ideas that you're expressing.
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That strategy I just told you about to use pausing.
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I'm using it with you right now. In fact,
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it's a strategy I use all the time when I speak in my Confident English videos,
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in my lessons, in my conversations with my husband and friends.
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It's how I communicate. Does it sound strange or slow to you?
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Did you notice that I was using this strategy? Probably not,
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and that's the point,
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but the beautiful part of using those little pauses is once you get comfortable
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with them and you learn how to use them well,
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you can use those tiny little micro second pauses to think,
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organize your ideas and express your next sentence, your next idea,
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your next thought.
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Clearly this is a skill that I love helping my Fluency School students master.
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Once they learn how to do it and get comfortable with it,
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that is where real confidence begins.
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Strategy number two is breathe and get time to organize your ideas.
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This one is all about staying calm or relaxed and giving yourself the time that
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you need to organize the ideas in your mind and make the right choices for the
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words that you want to use and strategy number one,
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I talked about using these tiny little pauses, but in strategy number two,
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I'm talking about giving yourself a little bit of extra time to really think
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about what you want to say to do this correctly.
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We typically use a phrase or some kind of body language to buy ourselves some
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time. Here's some things that you can say to do that,
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and these are my favorites. I use them all the time.
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If someone asks me a question or in a conversation,
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if people are waiting for me to say something, I might start with,
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give me a second. I want to be really clear about what I'm going to say or,
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Hmm,
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I need to think about that for a moment to make sure that what I say is clear.
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Let me have a moment to think about that.
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Give me a second to organize my thoughts on this.
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Now if you're in a group conversation and you know that everyone is eager to
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join the conversation, you could say something like,
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I need another minute to organize my thoughts.
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So go ahead and continue the conversation and come back to me in a moment.
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Using something like that indicates that you definitely have something you want
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to say,
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but it also allows the conversation to continue successfully and when they're
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ready they can come back to hear what it is that you have to add. And finally,
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strategy number three is to let your ideas connect to each other.
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Let me explain what I mean by that.
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Letting your ideas connect is about allowing one idea to flow into the next
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idea.
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When your mind is calm and free to do this at allows you to process information
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more easily and get to the key points or the key ideas that you want to talk
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about. You already do this in your native language.
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It's possible that you've never thought about it or recognized it because you
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just do it. You've learned it from the time you began learning your language.
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But doing it in English means that you have to practice.
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It means learning to think in English.
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This is definitely something we work on in Fluency School,
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but I've got a great strategy for you to use on your own. In fact,
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it's one that I still use to practice my second language to practice this
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process of thinking in English and allowing your ideas to connect to each other
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so that you can process information and find what you want to say.
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You want to make sure that you're alone and you're in a calm, relaxed space.
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And then all I want you to do is look around you.
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Identify things that you see,
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hear or feel right where you are, but do it in English.
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So let me give you an example of what that might look like.
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If I'm sitting in this room, I might look at my desk and I see that on my desk.
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I've got my computer, I have my notebook, my daily planner.
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I have way too many pens and pencils.
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It's also where I keep all my painting supplies and when I see my painting
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supplies, I immediately start to feel happy.
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I start thinking about the parts that I enjoy about painting,
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that it makes me feel relaxed and that I'm enjoying the process of learning to
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paint and then it continues from there.
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The goal is to do this in English. Now,
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I mentioned at the beginning of the strategy that you can do this while you're
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thinking, but even better is to do it out loud, to do it as you're speaking.
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This is something that is challenging for us as introverts.
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Remember I said we like time to think and be clear.
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We don't like to think out loud,
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but this is going to teach you how to do those things in English.
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I want you to learn how to think,
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how to think quickly and how to find the words or ideas that you want to express
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in English.
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This is going to help you avoid translating in your mind and getting stuck.
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Combining these three strategies of practicing, pausing when you speak,
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giving yourself time to breathe and think clearly or organize your thoughts and
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teaching yourself how to think in English will allow you to communicate more
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easily in every conversation. This does take time.
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It's not something you can learn to do and be ready tomorrow,
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but I promise you the moment you begin regularly practicing these three
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strategies,
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you'll start to notice immediate progress in your ability to communicate and
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express what you want. And now I want to hear from you.
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I want to know what your biggest aha moment or your biggest insight was from
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today's lesson and how you can use that to help you in the future.
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And if you've got a great piece of advice or tip on how to communicate easily in
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English, I would love for you to share it with me in the comments below as well.
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It's a great opportunity for you to share with someone else in the Confident
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English community. With that,
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if you enjoyed today's lesson and found it useful to you, I would love to know.
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You can tell me in three simple ways. Number one,
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give this video a thumbs up on YouTube.
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And if you haven't yet subscribed to this channel so you never miss one of my
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Confident English lessons. Number two, you can share it on Facebook, Pinterest,
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or LinkedIn. And number three,
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if you know someone who's struggling in English and feeling frustrated,
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share this lesson with them by email.
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Don't forget to download the two free trainings I mentioned and share your
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comments with me. Have a fantastic week.
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Thank you for joining me and I'll see you next time for your Confident English
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lesson.
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