DO NOT SAY 'You're wrong'! | ENGLISH FLUENCY SECRETS

Hi there, this is Harry and welcome back to  Advanced English lessons with Harry, where I  

try to help you to get a better understanding  of the English language. I try to help you to  

get an understanding of the nuances of English and  expressions and phrases. When you should use them,  

when you shouldn't use them, how you  should use them. And all importantly,  

when you should use something in perhaps a polite  way. And that's what we have for you today.

In this particular advanced English lesson,  we're taking a look at how to improve your  

speaking abilities, okay, and particularly how  to tell someone something is wrong, but tell  

them in a polite or tell them politely. And as  always, at the end of this particular lesson,  

if you need more help more assistance, or you  want to give me some suggestions as to what  

to include for future lessons that I give you  the address, and we will work it out for you.

Okay, so as I said, in this particular  lesson, it's an advanced English lesson,  

we're talking about talking about ways in which  you can improve your speaking abilities. And  

here we're talking about telling someone how  they are wrong, but politely. Okay, so these  

are useful phrases to improve your everyday  communication phrases for daily conversations.

Okay, so the first one, I believe, you may  have misinterpreted that, or I believe you may  

have misunderstood that. So if somebody's got the  directions wrong, so in the example, I believe you  

may have misunderstood the directions, you were  supposed to apply the red paint before the blue  

paint. Okay, but you did the blue paint before the  red paint. So you've made a mistake. So I believe  

you may have misunderstood or misinterpreted  the instructions, or the directions on the tin,  

on the diagram, or whatever it comes with  the kit that you're trying to make up.

And another way when we use misunderstand  is the following way. I think there may  

have been a misunderstanding. So when  we talk about a misunderstanding here,  

we're using it as a noun, when they say I  think there may have been a misunderstanding,  

the phrase suggests that the mistake may  have been due to a communication problem,  

rather than the fault of the other person. So they  just misunderstood. There's a misunderstanding,  

based on language, perhaps based on what somebody  thought they had heard, okay, so that when we say  

there may have been a misunderstanding, it  could be about a meeting. So for example,  

I think there may have been a misunderstanding,  the meeting was for today at two o'clock, not  

tomorrow at two o'clock. So we need to make sure  that everybody is available. So there may have  

been a misunderstanding with the email or there  may have been a misunderstanding over the the  

phone or whatever this arrangement was made. But  the meeting is today at two knots tomorrow at two.  

Okay, so there can be lots of misunderstandings  like that. I'll give you an example when I was  

in Italy once and I presented my passport to  the hotel, and my date of birth is the fifth  

of July. So written in English, it's 0507. Okay,  now the day I arrived in Italy happened to be the  

seventh of May. Okay. 0705. When I arrived back in  the hotel that night, there was a cake and a small  

bottle of champagne on my bedside table, I was  really surprised as to what that was for. So there  

was a misunderstanding about the date and my date  of birth, but they allowed me to keep the cake and  

the champagne. So everybody was happy. Okay, so  I mis.. there may have been a misunderstanding.

Now, next expression. Actually, it's more  like...Actually, it's more like... And when we  

use this, we're trying to just correct somebody.  Okay, so to give them more accurate information.  

So this phrase gently corrects the other person  statement without trying to embarrass or to  

offend somebody. Okay. So actually, it's more  like... So if you're giving somebody directions,  

and they said, Oh, yeah, you can walk to the city,  and it'll take you 20 minutes. And you said, well,  

actually, it's more like 30 minutes and 20  minutes, unless you're really running. Okay?  

So when we want to correct somebody, but we  want to correct them, politely, then we say,  

well, actually, it's like, it's more like this  than the other. So we're not telling them no,  

no, no, you're wrong. We're doing it in  a gentle way. Actually, it's more like...

Next expression. I'm sorry, but I  don't think that's quite right. Now,  

this s a little bit firmer. I'm sorry, but  I don't think that's quite right. But again,  

it's about the intonation you put in your voice.  You're not shouting or screaming. You're saying,  

Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's quite  right. So you're trying to tell them that I think  

there's a little mistake here. So this phrase  acknowledges the other person's statement,  

while expressing disagreement with the  facts, okay. So for example, I'm sorry,  

but I don't think that's quite right. The store  closes at nine o'clock, not 10 o'clock. Okay,  

so it's not quite right. Yes, it closes late,  but not as late as you think. So it closes at  

nine o'clock, not 10 o'clock. So if you want to  go there, you better go now. Okay, so I'm sorry,  

but I don't think that's quite right, meaning  you've got the time a little bit wrong. Yeah,  

it closes late on a Thursday and Friday,  but nine o'clock, not 10 o'clock.

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Next expression. I understand what you're saying,  but... Okay, so there's always a but in these  

statements. Yeah, I understand what you're saying,  but... So what comes after the but. I understand  

what you're saying is positive. Okay, but is  going to introduce that particular negative.  

And it depends on how we say it as to how politely  it will sound. So this phrase shows that you're  

listening to the other person's point of view,  while gently correcting the error that they have  

made. Yeah. So I understand what you're saying,  but... So you show that you.. you have been  

listening and yes, you understand that but.... And  here comes the but which you're going to correct  

them for the mistake they've made. So let me give  you an example. I understand what you're saying,  

but I think it's actually pronounced karaoke, yeah  not kar-ee-oh-kee. Yeah, it's karaoke. Yeah. Not  

kar-ee-oh-kee. It's karaoke. Okay. So yeah, I  understand what you're saying. So I know what  

you want to do. You want to go to karaoke bar, but  it's pronounced karaoke not kar-ee-oh-kee. Yeah.  

Okay. So it's just correcting somebody gently  and quietly and politely that they've got the  

pronunciation slightly wrong. Yeah. Now, when we  were playing the game of trivial pursuits a few  

years ago, and there was a geography question, and  one of our sons I won't give his name because he  

might be a bit embarrassed if he listens to this  probably won't listen to it. But he instead of  

when he was asked the question about a country in  South America, he came up with this answer Urugii.  

And I looked at him I thought Urugii, what? Is  that some sort of pop band or something? In fact,  

he meant Uruguay. So yes, so politely. But  we did snigger a little bit, but we politely  

told him well, the pronunciation you let the  right country but the pronunciation is Uruguay,  

not your Urugii. Okay, so if you haven't seen the  word for a while, yes, you tried to pronounce it  

in a strange way. But the actual pronunciation was  Uruguay. Okay. So I understand what you're saying,  

but the pronunciation is karaoke not  kar-ee-oh-kee. Or Uruguay, not Urugii.

Next one, it's my understanding that... It's my  understanding that... Now, here you're trying  

not to be dogmatic. Okay. So this phrase allows  you to express your own perspective or your own  

view on something without invalidating or overly  correcting the other person's opinion or point  

of view. So it's my understanding that... So  you're doing it quite gently and politely,  

it's my understanding that the report is  due on Friday, not Thursday. So perhaps  

in the business meeting on a Tuesday or  Wednesday, somebody says, Okay, well, look,  

we'll get this everything done. And we'll  have that report ready by close of business  

on Friday. I use it just for some correction  there just to make sure that we understand it.  

It's my understanding that the report is  actually due close of business Thursday,  

not Friday. Okay, so you're correcting  people without embarrassing them in any way.

And then the next one, perhaps we could  double-check the facts on that? Perhaps we  

could double check the facts on that? Now, that  literally means that when you ask somebody to  

double-check, you've seen it. You don't believe  it. So you want somebody to check it again,  

just to make sure because it's really, really  important. Okay. So when we use this phrase,  

it suggests that both parties should verify the  information before assuming that one is right  

and one is wrong. So we could say perhaps we yeah  so we're emphasising the "we," perhaps we could  

double-check the facts on that. So you want to  make sure that you've got the right facts, no  

matter whether it's you or the other person that's  right or wrong. You just want to make sure that  

what you've got is accurate and correct. Correct.  So for example, perhaps we could double-check the  

facts on that before making a final decision. So  it's all, if you're going to make an important  

decisions, it's really, really important that you  double-check the facts just in case you make the  

wrong decision, or perhaps you don't need to  make a decision at all. So if you've got the  

wrong information, you might make a bad decision.  And you need to double-check just to see whether  

the decision you're making a right is right,  or whether in fact, you need to make a decision  

at all. So perhaps so you're not being dogmatic.  Perhaps we could double-check the facts on that.

Next expression is, I was under the impression  that... I was under the impression that... When  

we use this phrase, or this expression, it's sort  of a humble approach. So you're not being again,  

overly dogmatic. You're not trying to speak down  to somebody. So you're being quite humble. I was  

under the impression that so this phrase  takes a humble approach and implies that  

the mistake may have been your own rather  than that of the other person's. Okay,  

so you're effectively accepting responsibility.  I was under the impression that I may have missed  

something. But I was under the impression that  the party was going to start at seven o'clock,  

not eight o'clock. Okay. So perhaps you're wrong.  Perhaps you misread the memo. Perhaps somebody  

told you, and you forgot. But you can say, well,  I was under the impression that the party was due  

to start at seven o'clock, not eight o'clock.  So when we use this under the impression, it's  

a more humble way of accepting that perhaps you  got something wrong, rather than the other person.

And the next expression, if I'm not mistaken,  it's actually... okay. If I'm not mistaken,  

it's actually... Now here, this particular phrase  suggests that there may be a chance that you're  

wrong. Okay, if I'm not mistaken, but it still  presents your opinion, if I'm not mistaken. So  

you're inviting somebody to correct you. If I'm  not mistaken, it's actually... okay. So let me  

give you an example. If I'm not mistaken, it's  actually the second turn on the right, not the  

first. So you're trying to give somebody some  directions as to how to get to the head office.  

Or how to get to the shopping centre, or how to  get to the restaurant, wherever it is. And so  

you're not quite sure, but you're almost certain.  So he said, Well, look, if I'm not mistaken, it's  

the second turning on the right, not the first.  So you take the second turn, and on the right,  

and you go down that street, you'll see the  hotel or the restaurant, you can't miss it.  

It's it's the biggest building on that corner or  the bottom of that street. So if I'm not mistaken,  

it's actually the second turning on the right,  not the first, if I'm not mistaken his birthday  

is actually next week, not the following week. If  I'm not mistaken, he's gone on holidays tomorrow,  

not Monday. Okay. So all of these situations would  give an indication where you think you're right,  

but you're leaving yourself open to  be corrected, but in a polite way.

I'm not sure that's accurate. This is our next  expression. I'm not sure that's accurate. So this  

phrase expresses doubt in a polite way. So you,  you're probably pretty sure that this is wrong.  

Okay. But you don't want to be too strong with the  person. So it's expressing doubt but in a polite  

way, for example. I'm not sure that's accurate.  From what I've heard, the concert starts at 7pm,  

not 8pm. I'm not sure that's accurate. I think  we're going to get two extra days holiday,  

not one extra day holiday for the Kings  coronation or the burial of the President  

or whatever the particular data celebration  happens to be. So I'm not sure that's accurate.  

From what I've heard, the party or the concert  starts at seven o'clock, not eight o'clock,  

the game kicks off at 745, not 8pm. So we need  to be there in time. Otherwise, we will miss  

the beginning of the game. And you know how I hate  missing the beginning or the end of football game?  

So I'm not sure that's accurate. From what I've  heard the game starts at 745. Not eight o'clock.

I understand your point, but I think it's more  like this. So here again, you're accepting that  

you understand what the person has to say, but  you're going to correct them because you believe  

you've got better or more accurate information.  Okay. So I understand your point, but I think it's  

more accurate to say that we need to submit the  report on Friday, not Thursday. I understand your  

point. So yeah, you want to get it in as quickly  as possible, but I think it's more accurate to  

say that we need to or we have to submit that  report on Friday, not by Thursday. So we have  

an extra day, we want to take that extra day  to make sure the report is accurate. Okay.  

So I understand your point., but I think it's  more like this. Yeah, I understand your point  

that we really have to get this product out  to our customers in time for the summer,  

but in reality, you know, we really need to launch  it at the middle of spring just to give them time  

to dress the windows, get the orders in, because  if we deliver it at the beginning of the summer,  

it'll take a few weeks for it to be noticed.  And we've missed half of the summer.

I don't think that's quite correct. Could we look  it up? I don't think that's quite correct. Could  

we look it up? So again, this phrase suggests  that both parties need to verify the information.  

You're not saying that it's absolutely wrong, but  I don't think it's quite correct. So there's some  

doubt. Could we look it up means let's check it.  I might be wrong. You might be right. You might be  

wrong. I might be right. So the phrase suggests  that both parties should verify the information  

together, which can be helpful, because it's  a collaborative approach. And therefore,  

when you get the answer, you'll understand  who's right and who's wrong. What's more  

important to have the information correct.  Okay. Example. I'm not entirely sure about  

the information you gave me. I don't think it's  quite correct. But I'll tell you what, let's  

look it up. And then we'll be absolutely sure.  Okay. And if I'm wrong, I'll apologise. And if  

you're wrong, well, then we'll just correct  it, and everything will work out. Okay. So I  

don't think that's quite correct. Could  we look it up? I said, the example is,  

I'm not entirely sure about the information  you've given me. I'm not sure it's quite  

correct. But I'll tell you what, why don't we  look it up? And then we'll know for sure. Okay.

Now, the next one a little bit more  firmer, a little firmer. Okay. What  

you said is completely false. So you're not  leaving much room for argument here. When you  

say it's completely false. The, you're  virtually certain that this is wrong,  

but you're trying to be as polite as possible. For  as an example, what you said is completely false.  

The company never agreed to that price. There's  no way that the company would agree to that price.  

What you said is completely false. The company  isn't sound financial position got very strong  

cash flow, there's absolutely no question of this  company going into liquidation. Okay, so you're  

being really, really strong, but firm, and you can  be firm with these suggestions or recommendations  

or challenges. But you can be firm, and be polite  without being rude, what you said is completely  

false. So the word completely doesn't give  you any room for error, it's completely false.

Now, occasionally, when we are using these  words, we can be a little bit too polite,  

okay? And people don't understand whether we are  angry or whether we are annoyed or whether we want  

them to check on that. So sometimes, we have to  be a little firmer like that last expression,  

what you said is completely false. But there  are also times when people can be really a  

little bit rude, you know, for, for example,  in in Ireland, somebody might say to you,  

I think you're talking through your arse. So that  doesn't leave much room for being polite. And it's  

really telling somebody that what they said is a  load of rubbish. Now, in England, they might say,  

I think you're talking through your bottom. So I  will be the Queen's English a little less rude,  

but not so much. So there are ways in which  you can be absolutely rude, you know, like,  

it's a pile of horseshit, or it's bullshit  or it's rubbish. So these don't give you any  

room for manoeuvre. There's no wiggle room  in those. So whatever you say, somebody is  

going to really know that you're annoyed or  that you don't think much of their ideas.

Whereas the other suggestions that I've given you,  the other expressions are really to be polite. So  

you give the opportunity for the person to check  it themselves. You're not indicating outright that  

they're wrong. So you're using expressions, or I  was on the impression that or if I'm not mistaken,  

it's actually this. It's my understanding  that so the indirect these are other ways  

to soften the blow very British English. I'm  not sure that's accurate. Why don't we check  

it out or check it up? Okay, so just different  expressions, how you can challenge somebody,  

how you can indicate that something may be  wrong, but you're being as polite as you can  

possibly be. Okay? So what you need to do is...  these are difficult, okay, and not something you  

can just drop into your conversation quite  quickly. So you need to practice them. So  

I would suggest picking two or three, see  how you get on, use them in the odd email,  

use them. If you have a contradiction with  somebody in the in the office that something  

going around and you need to contradict them or  you have some email banging back and forth or  

pinging across to you and back to somebody else.  So just practice these sorts of expressions,  

see what reaction you get, and make sure you  can understand them and use them properly.

And as always, if you need to write to me and  get more information, then you can do so on  

www.englishlessonviaskype.com. Very happy to hear  from you. Very happy to include your suggestions  

in future lessons. And if you do like this  particular lesson, then please like the video  

and if you can subscribe to the channel because  it really really helps. Okay, this is Harry,  

thanking you for watching, and listen and  remember, as always, join me for the next lesson.