Must-Know Uses of Reflexive Pronouns

Hi everyone. I'm Jennifer from English with  Jennifer. You know I think we probably all  

have a budget, so we're careful how we spend  our money, but do you ever treat yourself to  

something special? I do. Sometimes it's a  chocolate bar or yet another box of tea,  

but there are also times when I decide to  go big and I buy something I really want,  

like these boots. I certainly didn't need  them, but I wanted them. If you bought  

yourself something special within the past year,  tell me in the comments. Then I'll feel better  

about splurging. That's when you spend more  than you normally do or more than you should  

because you want to experience some kind of joy. I  splurged on boots. I treated myself to new boots.

Let's talk about these phrases. I treated  myself to new boots. I bought new boots  

for myself. "Myself" is a reflexive  pronoun. It refers back to the subject:  

me. Reflexive pronouns show that the subject is  doing something to or for oneself. Think about  

the reflection you see in the mirror. You look at  yourself in the mirror. I looked at myself in the  

mirror and admired my new boots. Let's change  the subject to "Jennifer." What other change do  

we need to make? We need to use "herself."  Jennifer looked at herself in the mirror

Now, in this moment, what happened? I picked  up the box and hurt myself. I hurt my back.

And what am I doing here? Do you see the scale?  

I'm weighing myself. How often do  you weigh yourself, by the way?

Do you remember all the reflexive  pronouns? Let's go through them.

myself

yourself, yourselves

herself

himself

itself

ourselves

themselves

A generic pronoun can refer to a whole group  or to anyone. Look how reflexive pronouns  

can be used to make a generalization. It's  good to treat yourself to something special  

sometimes. "You" is impersonal here. It  means anyone. It's good to treat ourselves  

to something special sometimes. Rhis is  also general, but it includes you. It  

is a healthy practice to treat oneself to  something special occasionally. "Oneself"  

is gender-neutral and singular. It sounds a  bit more formal than the other alternatives.

What about "themself" as a reflexive pronoun?  Not many grammar books include this form,  

but it exists. I'd say at the present, it's  mostly used in spoken English as a gender-neutral,  

singular pronoun. Compare. People should treat  themselves to something special sometimes.  

Everyone should treat themselves to something  special sometimes. I'd use either of these  

variations, but I wouldn't use the second in  formal English. Some writers and speakers would  

use these variations: Everyone should treat  themself to something special sometimes. A  

happy person knows it's okay to treat themself  to something special sometimes. "Themself" has  

become a single-word alternative to  using the phrase "herself or himself"  

or "himself or herself." Please know that some  dictionaries and sources consider the singular  

reflexive pronoun "themself" non-standard,  but will you hear it? Yes. Yes, you will.

We already talked about the most basic use of  reflexive pronouns. It's when an action is done to  

or for oneself, so reflexive pronouns refer back  to a person mentioned already. He sees himself in  

the mirror. "Himself" is a direct object. He's  always looking at himself in the mirror. Now  

"himself" is the object of a preposition. I often  catch him looking at himself in the mirror. Again,  

the reflexive pronoun is referring to  someone doing an action to himself.

We can also use reflexive pronouns to  talk about what people can do without  

any help. What can they do on their own? That is,  

by themselves. We often use the preposition  "by" in this case. Let me ask you: Can you  

cook dinner by yourself? Can you do laundry by  yourself? Can you change a car tire by yourself?

When we want to emphasize that we do something  alone, we use "by" with a reflexive pronoun.  

Let me ask you: Would you go to a movie  by yourself? Are you comfortable eating  

dinner by yourself? When do you really enjoy  being by yourself? Tell me in the comments.

Whether we mean "alone" or "without any help,"  we add "all" to mean "completely." Tanya is  

not afraid to travel all by herself. In other  words, she's not afraid to travel completely  

alone. Their great-grandfather built the  farmhouse all by himself. In this case,  

it means he did it completely without any help  from anyone. Think of "all by oneself" as a  

set phrase. Don't drop the preposition. But in  contrast, when you talk about what you're able  

to do independently, you don't need "by," as in:  I can do it myself. I'll do it myself. This means  

no one has to help me. I'll do it alone. But  depending on the context, it could also mean  

that I don't expect anyone else to complete  the task. I'll be the one to complete it.

Reflexive pronouns also help us emphasize one  person in particular and no one else. It could be  

you. For example, I myself love to dance, but no  one else in my family dances. Often it's someone  

of importance or with authority. For example, the  boss herself came to congratulate me and praise my  

work. Notice how we can place the reflexive  pronoun immediately after the subject. But  

separation is also possible in conversation.  I can't say I'm very artistic myself,  

but I agreed to go to a painting event with my  friends. Let me ask you what you see in this  

video. What am I holding? What am I enjoying?  I'm watching TV with a remote control, right?  

I have sole possession of the remote control,  so I have the remote control all to myself.  

When you have something all to yourself, you have  sole use of it, complete use of it. No sharing.  

Would you like to have a nice hotel suite all  to yourself or would you share it with friends?

Let's look at some uses of reflexive  pronouns that are considered incorrect,  

but the usage is out there, so I want you to  be aware of it. Some speakers say "theirselves"  

instead of "themselves." Similarly, some  speakers say "hisself" instead of "himself."  

I don't recommend using these non-standard  forms, but you may come across them. Also,  

some speakers and writers may use  "myself" instead of "me," thinking it  

sounds more polite or formal. Let me ask  you which sentence has standard grammar.

B is standard. The subject is not doing  any action to himself or for himself,  

so "me" is the better choice.

Similarly people may try to use  "myself" all alone as a subject.  

Let me ask you which sentence is not standard.

A is not standard. It's important to  know standard grammar because this is the  

grammar that will serve you best in the greatest  number of situations. It's also helpful to know  

collocations -- how words go together and common  expressions, so that's what we'll focus on next.

"Myself" is a reflexive pronoun so it should ref  refer back to the subject, but there's one common  

exception. It's the phrase "myself included."  This phrase means "including me." For example,  

many people, myself included, think that Hollywood  is producing too many remakes and not enough  

original films. The subject of the sentence  is "many people," so the reflexive pronoun  

"myself" doesn't refer back to the subject, and  yet it's become common and acceptable to say  

"myself included," and it means "including me."  I'm in that group of people who have this opinion.

I know that this last year has been not  very easy for all of us, myself included.

Myself included.

Myself included.

Finish this sentence. Many people,  myself included, complain that...

Guess the meaning of this expression:  full of oneself. Derrick is so full  

of himself. He thinks that his  ideas are better than anyone else'

The answer is C - conceited, like arrogant. To be  

full of oneself means they have a  really high opinion of themselves.

Sam and Woody are trying desperately to kiss me.

Boy, someone's a little  full of herself, isn't she?

You are so full of yourself.

A related expression is "to be sure of  oneself," and it's not necessarily bad.  

It could mean you're confident, but it could  also mean you're overconfident, too confident.

You're either very impatient  or extremely sure of yourself.

Here are two similar expressions questions.  Can you match the examples to the meanings?

Which one is about avoiding  others and not being social?

Which one is about not telling anything to others?

So, if you keep it to yourself, you're  not sharing. You're not telling anyone.

And if you simply keep to yourself,  you're avoiding social interaction.

How about you? Did you keep to yourself  as a kid or were you social and outgoing?

Time for a quiz.

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And now for a bonus challenge!  What's the difference?

"Helping each other" means I helped you  and you helped me. When we help ourselves,  

we do things for ourselves and no  one else. We could also emphasize  

the individual: we each helped ourselves.

What do you think is more important,  

being kind kind to one another or being kind  to oneself? I myself think both are important.

Here's a list of all the questions I've asked  you so far. Share your answers in the comments.

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