I forget all my words when I speak! [English Speaking Tips]

Hello and welcome to this video. Today let's talk  about what you can do when you're speaking in  

English, and you, you forget your words. Does  that ever happen to you when you're speaking in  

English and you forget what you wanted to say.  I hear this from a lot of students. They say,  

Jennifer I forget all my words when I speak  in English. So today let's talk about why  

that happens and what you can do to prevent it. Of  course I'm Jennifer Forrest, and this channel is  

dedicated to helping you feel confident speaking  English in public, so you can take your career  

and your life to the next level. Now before we go  any further, make sure you subscribe and hit that  

bell icon so you're notified every time I post a  new lesson. Now, let's dive in with this video.  

Let's say you're in a meeting at work and you  have this amazing idea that you want to share,  

and you open your mouth and you start speaking,  and as you're speaking, you just can't think  

of that word. You have a very specific word in  your head, and at that exact moment when you're  

speaking, it's not coming to you. This is one  thing that I hear from students all the time,  

and it's one of the reasons that a lot of  students will avoid speaking because they're  

afraid that is going to happen, either because  it's happened in the past, they've heard stories  

of it happening to other people or is just a fear  that they have. But here's what you need to know.  

It is normal. It is normal for you to be  speaking and not remember a word, not remember  

and the entire idea. This is normal, even if you  practice what you wanted to say and you practice  

and you practice and you practice, and then you  get to the point where you're sharing your idea,  

maybe it's in a job interview or at work in a  meeting, and you're speaking and you're speaking,  

and then you forget. You forget the word that  you just spent hours and hours practicing.  

Why does that happen. Well, you just have to  realize that, for one, your brain is not Google.  

Okay, I think a lot of people have this  expectation that their brains job is to  

give them the precise piece of information,  the moment they want it. Now that would be  

amazing if the brain could do that. And our  brain is capable of doing incredible things,  

but it does not work the same way that Google  works when you want some piece of information  

Google or Siri will give you that information  instantly, your brain is not like that. Your  

brain has all that information, but it doesn't  have a filing system, that it can just open a file  

and take that piece and give it to you on demand.  That is a limitation. So you need to understand  

that this is normal. You have to think about this  in your own native language. Are you telling me  

that you've never been speaking in your own native  language and forgotten what you wanted to say,  

forgotten the name of a movie, the name of a  restaurant, the name of a street the name of a  

co worker, and you know their name but just  at that exact moment you can't remember it.  

Are you saying that doesn't happen to you in your  native language. Well of course not. Of course,  

it happens to you in your native language, so why  wouldn't it happen to you when you're speaking in  

English as a second language. The best solution,  I can offer you is to have strategies in place  

when you forget your words. So I want to tell you  about one of my students in my program speak to  

impress. Now, this is a public speaking program  so my students practice their public speaking,  

and they learn strategies to help them share  their ideas effectively and impressively,  

so one of my students was talking about her  favorite Disney movie. Now, as she was talking,  

she couldn't remember the name of the Disney  movie. A lot of times students will just use a  

lot of word fillers, they'll get really stressed  out, or they'll just stop talking because they  

forget a specific word. But remember what I said,  you need strategies. So this student was able to  

keep talking. So she forgot the name of the movie,  she's instantly started talking. Oh, I can't think  

of the name of the movie. What's that name again.  Anyway, it doesn't matter. So as I was saying,  

so she talked for a little bit to give her  brain some time to think of the information.  

The information was not coming, so she had to  move on. She had to keep going. And that's what my  

students learn, they learn to have these problems  like forgetting their words and they learn how to  

overcome them with specific strategies, so they  can keep talking. So you just need to have some  

strategies in place to help you keep talking,  when that situation happened, because that's  

a normal situation is going to happen is going  to happen when you're in a meeting is going to  

happen when you're in a job interview is going to  happen when you're giving a speech at a networking  

event or a conference is going to happen when  you're at a party just socializing with friends,  

you cannot stop talking. You have to keep going.  So you just need to have some strategies to help  

you keep talking. So ultimately, you can just  relax, because that is a normal situation.  

But there is one thing you need to understand,  and not that our brains don't work as effectively  

when we're under stress, so if you have a fear  of public speaking, and before you go to speak,  

you're already nervous before you begin the  presentation before you go to the job interview,  

your heart is racing. Your hands are shaking you  have that feeling in your stomach. At that moment,  

your body is under a lot of stress, and in that  stressful environment, your brain doesn't think  

as clearly, your brain is under stress, at that  moment. So, is going to be more difficult for you  

to organize your thoughts and think clearly  and get the words out, just think about how you  

feel when you didn't get a good night's sleep.  Let's say you had a terrible night's sleep you  

only slept two to three hours, and you're  in a meeting in your own native language,  

and you're asked a question, and you've only  had two to three hours of sleep. You're not  

going to be able to articulate your ideas very  clearly or effectively because your brain isn't  

working properly. It's only had two to three  hours of sleep. Now, that exact same thing is true  

when your body is under stress. So it's really  important that you learn to control your fear  

of public speaking, it's very normal to have a  fear of public speaking, but you need to take  

action to minimize those negative emotions.  I'm not going to tell you that you're going  

to eliminate them 100% But you can absolutely  minimize them, you can minimize the nervousness,  

the heart racing the hand shaking, you can reduce  it and minimize and minimize and minimize and with  

enough practice, you can get it as close  to zero as possible, and when your body is  

not under stress, your brain is going to work  more effectively, and it will be able to give  

you the information that you need when you need  it. So first of all understand that it is normal,  

even when you're not under stress, your brain  does not operate like Google, but understand that  

when your body is under stress, because you're  having a negative reaction to public speaking,  

your brain is not going to work as effectively  as if you were calm one strategy that I can offer  

you to overcome your fear of public speaking  is to use your breath. So take big breath in.  

So, big breath in, hold, and then a big exhale out  so take it in for three to five seconds, hold it  

for two to three seconds, and then exhale for five  to 10 seconds. And when you take those big breaths  

in and Big breaths out your heart rate is going  to slow down, Because your body is in stress, you  

need to get your body back into a calm environment  and you can do that with your breathing. So before  

you go to the job interview, just sit in your car,  or go to the bathroom, and just do some breathing  

exercises, or let's say it's a few days before  the job interview, and you're thinking about it,  

and you get nervous just thinking about it and  your heart starts to race at that exact moment,  

do some breathing exercises. The second you  have that fear. Obviously, you can't do that  

in the middle of the job interview while you  were speaking, you can't do that right I think  

that's obvious, I don't need to tell you that. So  you have to do this as a preventative before you  

go into the event, and that will just help your  body state in that calm, relaxed state. So you can  

think clearer. Another reason why you forget your  words when you speak, is because you're thinking  

too much about your words, you're obsessing  over your English, and you're thinking too much  

about individual words. And you're forgetting  the purpose of communications. The purpose of  

communications is to share an idea. You should  not be thinking about the individual words that  

you're going to use, you should be thinking about  your overall message that you want to communicate,  

and then focus on your message, because there  are many, many, many different ways that you can  

communicate a message in English, but I find  that students, When they're public speaking,  

they forget that they're not in a classroom.  When you're out work, and you're in a meeting  

and you're sharing your ideas, you're not in the  classroom in a classroom, you might be required  

to practice specific verb tenses or to practice a  specific phrasal verb that you've been studying,  

and when you share a practice example in a  classroom setting, you have to practice that  

specific phrasal verb, but when you're in the  workplace environment and you're communicating,  

and let's say you want to share an idea, and  you want to share it with that phrasal verb,  

but you can't remember that phrasal verb, if  that's what's happening, then you've forgotten  

the purpose of communications, you've forgotten  why you're there, you're there to share  

an idea whether you share that idea with  a specific phrasal verb or a different  

word, a synonym, all of that phrasal  verb, Does not matter in the classroom,  

it matters in the real world, it does not matter,  you should not be thinking about individual words,  

individual verb tenses, individual phrasal verbs,  individual expressions that is not your goal.  

Your goal is to communicate a message. So if you  focus on the message, then you won't worry about  

what words you use to communicate that message.  So the only thing you need to do as a solution  

is you just need to focus on your message, focus  on your message, and remember that there are 10,  

20, 100 different ways to say the exact  same thing. So you may have wanted to use  

a specific phrasal verb, but who cares. There  are many other ways you can communicate the exact  

same idea. And remember, you're not in English  class. Your boss, the person interviewing you,  

doesn't care about your phrasal verb vocabulary.  They care about your ideaa. They care about  

the value that you can bring to the organization.  They care about the solutions that you provide  

that what they care about. They don't care about  your English. So stay focused on your ideas, and  

remember, you're not in English class. So now you  know why you forget your words and you also have  

some very simple strategies, strategies that you  can use starting today to overcome this problem,  

so you can share your ideas effectively and  impressively. And if you found this video helpful,  

please hit the like button, share it with your  friends, and of course subscribe. And before  

you go, make sure you head on over to my website:  speak to impress.com. And there, you're going to  

find a free masterclass. And in this masterclass,  I'm going to share how you can feel confident  

speaking English in public without worrying about  your grammar or your accent, or your mistakes  

in only 30 days. To get your free masterclass,  simply click the button, enter your name and  

email and you'll get instant access to the  Masterclass. And I'll see you in my next Video.