The E-Word And The Secret To English Grammar Mastery

Well this is going to be an interesting

lesson we kind of more of a story lesson

so I do hope you enjoy it a lot of it

i will be teaching things I know people

want to get lots of things about how to

learn more vocabulary but really the

psychology how you think about things

the students that really do listen to

these and i know they might not be for

everyone and this just means maybe it's

maybe something you don't like or

whatever but to say it's not for

everyone just means only some people are

going to appreciate this video but the

people who do appreciate it will really

learn a lot and hopefully they take

something very important away from this

that they can apply to their fluency

well the were the special word that I

talked about and this is something that

most people forget is empathy empathy

and before I talk about the application

for fluency I just want to talk about

maybe empathy in everyday life

now if you're just looking at this video

right now the reason you're watching

this video is because you want to

improve in some way maybe you have you

know some part of yourself that like

enjoys me as a person or whatever but

really you are here for you and I

understand that so I appreciate your

time i'm glad that you're here enjoying

this video you could be doing anything

else in the world but you're here with

me right now and trying to improve your

English so that's great

so the thing about you know again this

video or whatever other product or

anything else you might purchase your

there or you're trying to get that thing

for you to understand that if I

understand that situation if i

understand that i am here for you and

I'm going to create more lessons that

are appealing to you are trying to help

you in a certain way so they're not here

for me this is not about how to make me

a better fluent speaker of whatever help

me do anything this is about how to help

you and when you think about this

because most people pretty much everyone

myself included

we're trying to figure out some way to

improve our lives but were you know

usually just thinking about ourselves

we're thinking about like how did

something happen to me or what am I

going to do tomorrow what will I cook

for dinner but these are all things that

are focused on ourselves now this is a

kind of normal thing we understand why

people do it because if you don't

out of focus on yourself then maybe you

won't be able to survive so there are

good reasons why we have developed this

way but if you want to help other people

or if you want to learn different things

you have to reverse this way of thinking

and it's a difficult thing to do because

it's so natural to focus on yourself all

the time but the more you can focus on

other people and this means even

something as basic as just trying to

listen more in conversation so instead

of trying to judge what's happening or

try to say whether someone is giving a

good argument or a bad argument you

really just listen to the other person

so as an example like a like earlier

this week I had two separate people on

the same day each of them bought like

just some product from our website and

both of them were quite quick to

male-to-male us and say hey like there

was a problem with our order and like

both of them were kind of angry about

that

so this is just like he was kind of a

quick story about empathy and that

weight but two people that purchase

something and then they're saying like

oh like what did you do wrong about that

so without thinking about what they

might have done wrong there immediately

thinking about what the other person did

so in that case like what did we do

wrong

why did we not deliver the thing we said

we were going to deliver now this

happens in everyday life typically when

people experience a problem in some way

they want to look for a reason why

someone else did something as opposed to

thinking like well gee maybe I maybe I

messed up and this is a thing that

really you need to develop you if you

want to be successful whether it's for

business or language learning and again

i'll talk a little bit more about the

language learning aspect of this but i

just want to make it clear with this

quick story so both of these people were

kind of angry at us like hey why didn't

you send me the thing that you know you

said you were going to send and then you

know we're looking at the accounts of

these people in like the first one we

have sent something to the email address

that actually was like over filled with

email so it wasn't able to receive any

emails anyway so what are you saying

something I wasn't able to be received

so we were finally able to to get that

thing to that person but it wasn't

because we did anything wrong but just

because you know that the email box was

full

the other example was a person that is

again they were complaining but they

haven't given us the correct

email address so they had misspelled the

email address and then said like what

did we do wrong about that now i

understand like just as a person doing

business like I'm going to encounter

like all kinds of people lots of people

are very respectful and very kind and

honest and even if like maybe they get a

delay in something like whether the

problem was created by us because you

know problems do happen and that's okay

or they created themselves lots of

people are very patient but I'm always

surprised by the people that are like

very quick to be angry about it and

quick to blame somebody else when they

are the cause of their own problems and

again this is a human nature kind of

thing that we all just deal with even

myself included

it's easy to get angry about somebody

else it's easy to look at someone else

and think like well they're causing me

to have a problem as opposed to wait

like maybe maybe I'm doing something

incorrect here now again this isn't

saying anything wrong with people it's

just part of being human is something

that we all experience so we're thinking

about ourselves first and then being

kind of quick to say like maybe the

other person is at fault as opposed to

thinking about how we might do something

better now the language learning

application of this is when you think

about something like learning grammar

and people are quick to think like that

grammar structure is odd in that english

language or in that other language so as

myself when I'm trying to learn like if

I was you know just like many years ago

when I was just starting to learn

japanese and I was like wow like some

parts of the language or similar but

others are not and even just to give a

quick example maybe from spanish so if

you want to talk about the adjectives

and the noun like the order that we do

these things it's reversed in Spanish so

i might say like car read in spanish but

in english i would say red car and it's

like I know a local general how or

something i don't really know spanish

but just something like that LOL cojelo

haha so I'm saying like the the car red

and if you're a Spanish speaker and I

said that incorrectly I apologize but

the idea of thinking like well that's

odd they put the mound before the

adjective or they put the adjective

before the now when you're thinking

about it and that we're you're trying to

judge the language for your perspective

you're missing

empathy there we were just accepting

like haha that's an interesting way of

trying to do that so if you think about

it like let me try to accept this other

thing I'm trying to learn instead of

trying to fight against that and think

kind of like about myself so that

language the difficult thing about that

language or just maybe this just

something different and logically there

is no difference between a car red or a

red car just like which are you talking

about first if i say i have a red and

like you still don't know what i'm

talking about until I put the whole

thing together side a red car or I have

a car and then you don't know what color

it is it doesn't really matter so you

need both of these things together and

so the order is not like one is not

better than the other it's just two

different things

now if I lacked empathy if I don't have

empathy i'm going to listen to that and

I think well that's different from what

I do and I'm going to tell my mind

because it's different that I should not

be listening to that thing but if I

really listened carefully to that if I

think like wait a minute like that is

that's an interesting wave trying to

speak that's an interesting way of

organizing words in a sentence and maybe

i can think about it that way that helps

me develop the understanding of a

Spanish speaker and that's what you're

going for you kind of develop the mental

understanding of something and that's

what leads you to developing the

capacity to use the language so it's not

kind of the other way around which is

what most people think they try to learn

a whole bunch of the language but they

never they never empathize with the

Speaker of the language they never try

to understand what it's really like to

be a speaker of that language so going

back to Japanese in the case of Japanese

like it's like red car or a chi kuma so

either 1 i'm like using its adjective

and then now in Japanese in the same way

that it is an English so well that makes

sense that's easy for me but maybe a

different example might be like an

English if I'm talking about a string of

things in the past tense so as an

example I i walked and then jumped and

then ate so i'm talking about three

different past things I walked jumped

and then ate so if i want to say that in

Japanese like let's see i would say like

I wait on that topic dot so in that once

i'm talking about like

it fit and then the past form of it now

i can use this in english in the same

way but again the grammar structure is

slightly different so I'm i have kind of

an order of things i'm doing but you

don't know what I'm doing or what the

tenses until the very last thing I say

in Japanese so I do we did have it or

you know whatever that the order of

things is but until the last 1i like

totally my style or topic job if I'm

just like again I don't want to give a

japanese lesson here but the point is

it's like you give a string of things

and that's how i'm trying to think of it

I say like okay it's different from

English but like maybe there's another

way that's also a good way to organize

this grammar or good way to organize

this with expressing this idea but in a

different language so I don't think

about how it's different from English I

think all like I'm going to empathize

with the Japanese speaker and try to

understand how they are thinking about

the language now if I'm thinking about

it in this way then I think hole like

this idea of like what i call chaining

verbs or like this this this this is

Miss and all of them are like the tip

form of that in Japanese and that only

the final only the final one is maybe

giving the particular tense so if it's

in the past the present or the future

whatever then I think that's actually

like an interesting way to organize that

so it's not like one is incorrect and

one is no correct

it's just these are different ways of

organizing ways of speaking in english

or or grazing just speaking languages in

general so the more empathy you have I

can define and I have like been doing

this for over 10 years and I tend to

find and this is again like the is a

great English expression to tend to find

something so you you notice things over

time so i can define door I find that

people that have higher levels of

empathy in life in general become fluent

speakers of another language faster and

this is just something that seemed like

people that are understanding of other

people in general are really good at

like learning a different language now

this might not be true for everyone but

this is just you know from what I've

experienced just teaching people working

with them privately or even thousands of

people that I help beyond just over the

years that I've been teaching so when

you're thinking

about learning a language like use that

skill of empathy in the same way that

you would try to empathize with the

people that you're speaking with in your

native language so people that you're

having conversations with them and you

were quick to think like what you are

incorrect or you are criticizing that

person or you are doing these other

things like you're just creating a wall

that stops you from connecting with that

other person and the same thing happens

with language so the more you think well

that's a stupid way to organize that or

why do people do there right away why do

people do that

this is what the person says that never

really gets fluent because they're

they're like crew literally creating a

wall between the way that they think in

the other language and the way that they

think in you know their native language

so if you want to become a person that

uses the language well you have to

become the person to sink in that

language well and these are life our

this is why I talk about things like

psychology so much in these videos

because yes all of the grammar points

and the vocabulary and pronunciation all

that stuff is a lot of fun but if you

don't have the way of thinking that

helps you do all these things

automatically if you don't understand

how to develop the habits that actually

makes you a fluent speaker than none of

it matters anyway I hope it's been an

interesting lesson for you if it's been

kind of difficult it's something that

really should go back and review a

couple of times but just to give a quick

summary the more you can be empathetic

the more you emphasize with the language

to whether it's you learning English are

you learning something else

the more you can do this in general the

greater and the faster you will improve

and become a fluent speaker of that

language or in this case of the English

language so this is a language learning

principle that is applicable to any

language you want to study and just to

human kind of human interactions in

general so try to listen to people more

except people more even if you disagree

it doesn't really matter maybe you don't

have to agree with what they're saying

but the more empathetic you can be the

more you can try to understand why

they're doing something from their

perspective so this means like not

getting too angry quickly or not

criticizing other the other things like

that do come naturally to us as people

they come naturally to all of us myself

included

so that's why we all have to think about

them

and really be conscious of these things

that are happening but if you can apply

this important principle of empathy it

will help you get through it much much

faster

well I hope it hasn't been too long of a

lesson for you but these are the games

that the kinds of things that are

important to me because they have been

so helpful for me personally becoming

fluent in another language as well as

helping all of my personal students but

if you have enjoyed this lesson do click

that like button if you have not enjoyed

this lesson you want to dislike this

well you kind of haven't learned

anything from the lesson but hopefully

if you do and you have some kind of

important criticism from me I'm always

happy to hear from your perspective how

i can help you better

so if you dislike this video and you

actually click the dislike button take a

moment and tell me why

maybe it was too long or you know

whatever that thing happens to be but i

recommend like I've actually never

disliked the video the whole time I've

been teaching on youtube like watched

lots and lots of videos and never ever

disliked video it's kind of weird

actually i guess like some people maybe

do dislike a video but i think it's mike

for me more like that empathy kind of

thing people takes time to create videos

and whether or not i disagree with that

thing like you know it's something that

people are creating so I don't bother

dislike anything anyway just a little

bit of extra information about me but if

you have enjoyed it do click the like

button and let me know why did like and

also if you'd like to improve and

develop all the fluency habits and learn

more about the psychology of things that

really important things that help you

get fluent click on the link in this

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things by taking our fluency quiz it

will help you improve all of the

different habits you need whatever it is

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click on the link in this video to take

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seeing you in the next lesson very soon

bye bye