"I feel nervous when people speak to me in English..."

130,945 views ・ 2017-06-17

EnglishAnyone


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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hi there I'm Drew Badger the world's first and number one English Fluency
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Guide and in this video I'd like to help solve another problem that a lot of
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learners ask me about and this is when maybe they don't really have a lot of
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speaking confidence they're nervous about other people coming up and
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beginning to ask them questions or try to start speaking so how do you deal
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with this how do you how do you deal with the nervousness you feel when other
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people are asking you questions about fluency or you know just having trying
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to have a conversation with you now the answer to this is really the same answer
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that you would give to any situation where you're feeling nervous about
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something especially nervous about other people trying to try to make you
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interact in some way in this case you're speaking but it begins with preparation
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so something I would do when I was struggling with Japanese and trying to
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learn how to say things and feeling very nervous actually about speaking is when
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people would start talking to me I would think oh no I I'm actually worried in
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conversations because I don't know how to respond to people and even worse than
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that people will know that I don't know how to respond to people I know that's a
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weird sentence but it's one thing to have weak ability but when people know
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you have weak ability that's it really felt it really felt very bad for me so
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what I started doing was just visualizing the process beforehand and
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just thinking to myself okay like I'm going to sit here and just visualize
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other people coming to me and trying to speak and asking me questions and things
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like that and I thought okay like the worst that happens is I won't be able to
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understand what they're saying or I won't be able to give them you know like
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the answer they're looking for or whatever or maybe even I make a mistake
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it doesn't really matter but I would just visualize this process and when you
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begin thinking okay what's the worst that could happen like it's really not
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so bad even if I felt a little bit nervous in conversations actually very
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nervous I'm a little bit like ashamed to admit it but yeah I did feel very
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nervous about it but really I mean it doesn't matter I'm not Japanese I wasn't
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born in Japan so I'm not supposed to be fluent native Japanese
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speaker so it's okay if I make mistakes so when I get into a conversation like
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that with people I don't have to feel so nervous so that's the the beginning part
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of this but then also the second step for visualization is that you're
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imagining yourself actually being confident it doesn't really matter if
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you know the language or not it's just more you feel excited about that coming
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because you know it's an opportunity for you to learn something so don't think
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about it as a chance for you to be embarrassed or for someone to expose you
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because you don't know how to speak or you might make a mistake think about it
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as a chance to learn something Wow somebody is actually coming to me to ask
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something or to practice with me I'm probably going to make a mistake but
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it's more important that I get to learn something right now so I'm actually
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having a experience right now where like somebody walks up to me and I think oh
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no like I could make a mistake but at the same time at the same time I do have
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an opportunity to learn something from them
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so I could just maybe like learn a new word or phrase or even I just have
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another opportunity to practice and improve so there's always that that's
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thinking about excuse me what's the the positive thing that's stronger than
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maybe the negative thing that I might think is happening so when you're
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visualizing this think about both of these situations when you're not around
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native speakers number one remember that it's not as bad as you think it is
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it never is bad is we think it will be and then the other part of that it's
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like wow I actually can learn something from this so it wants you to be more
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excited and it makes you more excited about getting into conversations with
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people now the second part of this is when you're actually in the conversation
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especially if you feel nervous focus on just having a few things that you can
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use to respond to people and to get them speaking more so if you feel nervous in
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conversations when you're speaking with people do do the like this kind of let
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them do the talking and you can do that by just saying things like tell me more
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it's like these are the three magic words that will get other people
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speaking because most people pretty much all of us really I don't really know a
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person that doesn't like talking about themselves you know Here I am I'm
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talking about myself in this video but when you're thinking about these things
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if you allow the people to speak they're going to be
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much more excited to speak and you will learn a lot more in the process but
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during this time where you're developing your confidence you're improving a
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little bit more you should be trying to speak if you can but if you don't really
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have that confidence and you just want to be a little bit more comfortable
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about it you want to take a bit more time and really become much more
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confident then you can do that by just asking questions like oh that's
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interesting tell me more so even if you don't understand everything you're
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hearing you're just getting like could you explain more about this tell me more
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about that you're letting the other person speak
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and it's just getting you excited and making you feel more comfortable about
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being in the conversation itself the third step to this is as you do feel
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more confident you begin saying more things and I've talked about this in
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previous videos where I really want you to not just say the same thing over and
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over again but give a slightly different answer a slightly different way of
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expressing something maybe change one word or part of a phrase when you're
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expressing something that like instead of saying like I went yesterday and it
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was a lot of fun you could say I went yesterday and it was really interesting
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or it was really engaging or I had a great time so you're taking one thing
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you're maybe saying the same thing but adding something to that and changing
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that expression just a little bit so these are great ways where you can take
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what you know and as you're learning things you begin to push yourself a
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little bit more to speak a little bit more and over time as you do these three
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steps visualizing listening and then speaking a little by little this is
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what's really going to help you develop your speaking confidence in feet make
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you feel much more excited about conversations so if you feel nervous try
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following these steps even just the visualization by itself can really have
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you feeling a lot more excited about conversations and a lot less nervous
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really you're not going to remove the fear but that your job is to make the
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fear so insignificant so tiny so small because the excitement that you have
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about getting into a conversation is way up here so the amount of fear doesn't go
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away but you can make the fear seem like a lot less because you're just so much
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more excited about the conversation anyway if this has been helpful for you
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do click on this video click that like button and do let me know in a comment
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down below if you have any questions about what I'm
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talking about you can also become a subscriber to the YouTube channel if you
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haven't already and if you'd like to learn more about improving your speaking
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confidence your fluency everything else you need in order to become a confident
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fluent speaker do click on the link in this video or on the link in the
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description below this video and that will take you to our free English
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fluency quiz so this will let you tell us exactly what your problem is maybe
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you struggle with your pronunciation your listening or maybe your confidence
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because you're watching this video but click on that and we can tell you the
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exact steps you can take to improve that so you really develop your fluency much
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much faster so click on the link in this video or on
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the link in the description below this video and I look forward to seeing you
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in the video coming up next bye bye
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