It’s time to learn English in the sunshine. It’s a beautiful day!

I can already hear lots of people saying Mr.

Duncan is no sound. Well, there is sound.

Now you should be able to hear.

Hi, everybody.

This is Mr. Duncan.

And of course, we can't have a live stream without Mr.

Steve. Here he is.

Are you okay?

Hello? Yes, we were on. Yes, Hello, Mr. Duncan?

Yes. The funny thing is.

The funny thing is that we.

We were separate, so I came up here first

to arrange all the equipment, and then Mr.

Steve followed behind me.

It is an absolutely beautiful day.

Even though now the sun has gone in.

Can you believe it?

It's typical. That's good.

That's good.

Because I've only got one

protection factor against the sun on my arms.

And obviously I don't want to age.

So you stink, by the way.

Stink of what?

Stink of whatever chemicals you've got on my hands.

Steve's put to 30.

Steve has put chemicals

all over his body now, and it stinks only on my hands.

You do realise that will now attract

all the disgusting flies?

Yes, but I will remain ageless, Mr.

Duncan, which is my anger.

Anyway, I suppose we should check.

I suppose that we're actually broadcasting.

Can anyone Here is if you can hear is.

Please let us know on the live chat.

If not, then we are in a lot of trouble.

I'm assuming people can hear us.

So can you hear us first of all?

We are not in the studio.

We are actually out and about at the moment.

And my equipment, I am just making sure.

I'm just checking his equipment.

Yes. I'm just making sure you can hear us.

You can come over a bit more, Steve,

Make his own design.

Don't be shy is here.

Hello to the live chat.

So now we have established that you can.

Here is where I will explain.

Oh, my God. That's just terrible.

What if you did nothing?

It system and hand

just because the pollen from the rain

it is not it's your stinky.

It's the same stuff I put on.

I've got my face just on my hand.

It's really going straight.

I think that's just because it's the pollen.

That's the reaction I normally get from Mr.

Duncan in the morning.

Turtle's rejection. You're obsessed.

You're obsessed with these things.

You shouldn't be so obsessed.

I'm not obsessed.

I just rubbed some on my hands.

This disgust me. Be strong.

It is that.

It's the same stuff I was have on Mr. Duncan.

When we go for a walk

with my hands to a little man walking away from you.

Anyway, we are in the control.

Just what position?

Okay, Steve, just don't worry.

Let me just explain what we're doing.

I'm already regretting bringing Steve here.

So first of all,

I haven't seen anyone say that they can hear us.

Yes, I have. Okay, good.

So. Oh, Oh, good.

It's just another confirmation,

but it would be nice, though.

Just double check that you can see and hear us.

And it's because you're my hand.

It's just disgusting. I keep my hands down.

What is.

What is that stuff you've put on factor 31.

What make is it.

I don't know which make it is whatever it is, don't

get it again because it's disgusting.

It's the same stuff I've had for years. Oh, it stinks.

Although apparently my sister told me that it

it doesn't keep so you're supposed to change sun

protection cream every year because it doesn't,

it doesn't maintain its strength.

Okay. You mean it goes right?

So you have to use it in a certain amount of time.

If it goes off, you've got to sell by date.

I'm putting my glasses on because it's so bright, Mr.

Duncan, and I don't want to squint, causing wrinkles.

Okay, Steve, there's no there's no sunlight.

I know, but it's bright.

Yes. Okay.

Suddenly

the sun was out this morning, and now we've come out.

You can see what's happened.

The sun's gone in. It's all cloudy. Typical.

Because what we're waiting for is,

is walkers to come by

so we can abuse them live online.

Go ahead.

That's good.

That's what we want to do.

Anybody that comes walking up

here, I'm going to swear at the Mr. Duncan.

Okay.

And so to generate a bit of excitement

and that people will probably fight firefighters

and then that will increase your viewership.

It won't, though,

because my view is don't like that sort of thing.

So all we will end up doing is losing everyone.

Everybody likes a bit of drama.

Anyway, talking of drama,

Meeka is celebrating her birthday today.

So happy birthday, Meeka.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday to you, Meeka.

I won't sing the song

because you get a copyright strike, will you?

If we sang Happy Birthday,

I don't.

Oh, happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.

A tune that won't be recognised

by the algorithms Happy birthday to

Mika.

Happy birthday and many happy returns from England.

I hope you are having a good day.

Where you are today is not lovely.

Please tell us what you're doing for your birthday.

So what I would like to know.

Well, I'm going to guess that you are watching us

on the live stream.

I'm going to guess.

And it's just a guess.

I'm not 100% sure.

I'm sure.

I saw a note from Mika saying she can't stay for long,

but that for you, the pollen from the rapeseed.

Mr. Duncan.

You don't have to do that, Steve.

You can

we do that when we were on our own,

Not when we're in the live stream from that.

So, okay,

let's face it,

this morning has been anything other than fun, has it?

Why

is it because of our stupid neighbour

and his barking dog? Yes.

We woke up this morning at quarter

to eight in the morning.

I don't know what's wrong with one of our neighbours,

but he might be the most ignorant person

I've ever met

because he lets his dog out all the time.

And it just yaps, barks, barks, barks all the time.

And it was doing it this morning

for nearly an hour

without stopping to make things worse.

He was quarter to eight in the morning.

He that's late for a lot of people.

Well, it doesn't matter.

It's too early for anything.

You don't make any noise at that time.

You never want to know

whether the people are in bed or not.

We had it all there yesterday

as well, on and off all day.

So he might be

he is an idiot, but they all are around here.

I mean, anyway. Anyway, let's not that well.

That particular person is an idiot.

I think he's an idiot.

Well, we can prove he's an idiot

because he lets his dog go outside and bark

for an hour.

It's the first thing in the morning

when some people are still in bed. Yes.

Because they've had a late night service.

And I have to say,

this is what annoys me about people who own dogs.

Not all dog owners, but some of them most.

Yes.

A lot of our view as a dog owners.

Well, yeah, but I'm talking about

do you ever wonder why I.

We live?

Do you have to. Yes.

Well, I'm talking about genuinely genuinely anyway, so

some people who own dogs are selfish idiots.

And it's true.

You know, I'm right

in the index, you know, out there in YouTube land, you

you've listened to someone's barking dog

for many, many hours.

So don't say you haven't because you have.

What do you do if you have a neighbour

that's got an annoying barking dog?

Please tell us what is the best way to react to that.

Well, there's nothing you can do.

Yes. Instead, we'd like to.

We'd like to know.

I mean, we can.

I mean where we used to live before in Wolverhampton.

Okay, there's an annoying barking dog.

And I called the council

and they came over

and assessed it and said, Yes, it was

extreme and they had a letter.

You had an X, She had an extreme dog did she.

Yes. What was it.

Was it was, it was a right wing.

The barking was extreme.

A councillor assessed it and said

yes, you are within your rights, this is unacceptable.

And they had a letter and then it stopped.

It's probably a good time to mention

that Steve is very good at complaining

to the local authority about anything.

Well, I know my rights,

I know

I'm just joking

and therefore you see, I'm just joking.

No, I'm just joking.

I know you are.

But that's why we have a sort of protection

in place for somebody for someone to go

if their neighbours are creating a disturbance.

Okay.

That saves you having to having to take matters

into your own hands. Well, there's nothing you can do.

Well, you know, like

go out

late at night,

capture the dog, ring its neck, that sort of thing.

What do you do?

You ever wonder why we lose our viewers?

Those things like saying things are going to increase?

We do not we do not support killing dogs.

So that's what I'm saying.

That's why we've got the council.

But that almost sounds like that's what you would do

if you couldn't do that.

Well, that's what people do, too.

People are driven to extreme measures.

No one is killing dogs.

Well, I'm not saying we're going to.

I'm just saying that is. Yes.

And I'm saying that no one around here

is killing dogs.

So you can hire somebody to do that for you.

Yes.

Okay. We're just talking.

We're just.

Yes, but you're talking to us.

You're talking on the Internet.

Well, you just called our neighbour an idiot.

Well, he's an idiot.

I know, but that's not a good thing to do

live on the planet either.

But that's true.

That's true.

He is an idiot

because he let his dog bark in the morning, you see?

So. Oh, Claudia is here.

What's cooking? Claudia?

What have you got in your part?

I have to say I am hungry.

But you're going out tonight, so?

Well, as far as I know,

because Steve has a friend who's talking of

talking of idiots.

Steve has a friend who constantly arranges

to go out for a meal with Steve,

but then keeps cancelling at the last minute.

At the last minute on the same night.

And he's done it about four times now.

It is full time

and I keep telling Steve not to bother.

Don't bother if this person keeps letting you down.

Sometimes you just have to let them go for a while.

Yeah.

And send a message

to them that says, Please stop messing me around.

There's nothing more annoying

when someone does

that hasn't happened to you in your life

when you know someone

and then you make an arrangement.

And then at the very last moment,

as you're ready to go out, they cancel it.

And this friend of Steve's friend,

well, I've known him I've known him for over 40 years.

We went to college together, you know,

bit of a fruitcake

and I'm not going to go down that road.

Well, I am.

That is for others to talking to fruitcakes

and talking to fruitcakes

and people who are a bit crazy.

We are going to be in Paris

in around about three weeks from now.

And we are having our big meetup,

The Big Rendezvous in Paris.

Are you looking forward to it?

Steve Yes, I am looking forward to it.

Mr. Duncan Assuming I can, yeah.

I don't have a mental breakdown between then and now

and then.

Why not?

Because of things that are going on,

you know, as we, as people have already,

if we already alluded to,

we've, we've managed to fall out with virtually

all our neighbours.

We haven't fallen out with our neighbours.

They have fallen out with us.

Well, yes, because they are a bit selfish.

I wonder.

I wonder what Pedro would do.

I know what Pedro would do.

I wonder what Pedro would do.

Yes, there would be.

Maybe, you know, if it goes on because he's not alone.

But we need.

What we need is a tough guy on our side

because we are not men.

You may have noticed we don't even together.

We don't. We don't.

We don't equal one man.

No.

Even between us,

I think

we get very close together

sometimes and try to look like one man.

We try to look scary.

No, no one. People aren't scared of his.

You say that and I think there are a couple of women.

No one's talking to us, by the way.

Everyone's talking about going to the dentist.

That's all right.

So what do you think

of these, Claudia?

They look like rusty nails.

We're just sort of.

Yes, we're just a sort of background noise,

I think.

Yes, I see the whole live chat.

Only little bits are going up.

Yes.

Well, again,

how many times have I said this, you know?

Yes.

Y you don't tap, you swipe isn't present for

my boots is an okay thing is I could ever go.

I'll do that a bit better.

Oh yeah, that's it.

That is it. Okay. Is it?

I had a cavity in that moment.

All right, all right. Okay.

Let's give names to If you're going to read something

really clearly,

you've given them between molars, then Yes, each.

Each molar.

It will each point.

Each tooth in your mouth has a certain number.

Because I notice whenever the dentist

is playing with my teeth, they always read

certain numbers out.

And I think it has something to do with the gum level.

Claudia, you are a dentist.

I'm sure you know all about this.

So they always say they always check your teeth

and they.

They do something with your gums

and they read some sort of measurement.

So is that right?

Is it to do with the amount of gum

that you have between your teeth?

They sort of a honey cake.

A honey cake. Okay.

What's that got to do with teeth?

There aren't any bees

that you accidentally left in that cake.

It's like having two different live streams here.

Honey cake.

Honey cake? Yes. Is that what Claudia's making?

Is it a cake that's got honey in it,

or is it a cake that you say,

Here, honey, here's a cake.

I think it's got honey in it. Right.

Okay.

I think it's safe to say,

because you obviously, you can

love the word honey.

That's teaching English,

obviously, is a sweet liquid

that bees produce.

Oh, basically, it's literally, isn't it?

Isn't it their vomit?

I think it is.

Then they literally vomit

the honey it and there's some bacteria that grow

or something as well or fungus or something.

But.

But you can call somebody honey, can't you. Yes.

Hello, honey.

Yes, but why, honey, I'm home.

Why would you call them that?

Because they're sweet, like honey.

So it's described as what is a term of endearment.

A term of endearment.

Just. Yes. So.

So do we call each other anything

while honey is a bit of an old fashioned,

I don't know if.

Do people still call their loved ones?

Honey?

So say to me on the live chat,

say to us, Do you call your loved one?

Honey,

there are many things, many ways

you can describe your lover.

You can say, Honey, your sweetheart, babe.

Hello, My sweetheart. Babe is the

common one.

Now bellow, babe, babe, babe, babe.

I was always called babe.

Yeah, you still are.

You are a big babe.

I babe's babe's.

Okay, Steve.

You can say Babe's and put an S on the end.

And it sounds a bit more child like it.

Yes, it sounds.

It sounds like maybe you're a bit mentally challenged

if you say that to someone,

if you say, Babe, I think in a text.

Hello Babe's Hello, babe.

If you say babe,

it means that there's a relationship

going on between the two of you.

But if you say Babe's it, it means that you like them.

But there isn't a relationship going on. Isn't this.

Isn't this a lovely conversation to be having in the.

What do I do? Tap?

No swipe, swipe, not tap up or down.

Just.

Just do that using swipe jumping onions again.

I'll be swiping for him in a minute.

Chopping onions again.

Well, surely they didn't go in the honey cake.

The honey cake has just come out of the oven.

We'd like to see a picture of you chopping onions.

Claudia, I have to say, I am hungry.

I'm a bit hungry. Suddenly

hangry, that's what. What is it?

If you say you're hungry, what does that mean?

It means you are hungry and angry

because you are so hungry. Your.

Your mood is changed.

I get that. Yes, Steve gets it.

But you get it all the time. Not necessarily.

I'm just hungry.

You're always.

You are always hungry and angry.

But isn't this true, though?

Sometimes you haven't. You?

I think your blood sugar drops.

You're hungry,

but it makes you irritable at the same time.

It does.

And that is you're hungry, hungry and angry.

Did you bring your phone, by the way? Yes.

Can I just have a look at it?

Okay. I'll go and fetch it.

Where is it?

It's in my bag.

Oh, I see.

Hi, everybody. Welcome.

We are out and about today.

We are doing a live stream out in the countryside.

Something a little bit different.

Yes. I'm just wondering what it sounds like.

You see,

this should be interesting.

You have access, Mr. Duncan.

You don't have access to something else here.

It's just finding YouTube.

So

can you believe, Steve, this

this gives you a good example of what Steve is like.

He doesn't even have the YouTube app in his phone.

I've got no use for it.

That is so sad.

I'm sorry, but that is very sort of I got here.

Mr. Duncan, you've got three in one oil.

What's that for?

Is that for your for your boom.

This is oil is this is commonly used to stop

your doors, but you put it in hinges don't you,

where you put it. Anyway, it's a lubrication.

It's three in one oil.

It's you put it on the hinges of your door

to stop them squeaking.

You don't to get so close. By the way. Okay.

It can't see.

So guess what I've done with this.

Mr. Duncan?

How did you oil your joints in your body?

Because they're all creaky and old 0eeeee.

If only that would work.

No, Mr..

I now, because for years

there is a kissing gate gate that we go through

when we're on our walk to stop the cattle getting out

and they,

the local council put them up everywhere around here

they call them kissing gates, but there's one near us

that has this loud squeak

and for years, every time it annoys me

every time you open it.

This is so fascinating.

And I have it, which sounds extreme.

It does sound

I have literally come out walking with a can of oil

in order to put some drops of lubrication

onto the hinges of this kissing gate and next time

we go through, you will be greeted by pure silence.

No more annoying, Squeaks.

Do you think this is my behaviour

going around in the countryside,

putting oil on the hinges of kissing gates?

It is probably is a little extreme.

Yeah.

And that's a window into my personality, I think.

But anyway, it just annoys me and it also attracts.

It sets off all the dogs

because when you undo this gate, all the dogs

start barking

and the cattle look up and they notice this squeak.

So we will be able to go back stealthily

like we were on tiptoes.

Nobody will be able to hear is coming

and we can pounce on

anybody that's there that we don't like.

Have you found YouTube on my phone?

Okay.

I still can't believe

you don't have the YouTube app on your phone.

Well, I don't watch

and I don't watch YouTube on my phone.

I only watch it on my laptop.

Try this three minute shower routine to quickly

get rid of toenail fungus, itchy skin and toenail.

Do you get toenail fungus, Mr. Steve?

Oh, no.

Sometimes I get 3 minutes.

Sometimes I get a fungal infection in the

between my toes and your mouth.

If I did again, you don't have to get athlete's foot.

If I go to a public place.

Very annoying

that I have to put some little finger size

cream on for a week.

Llamas sale is a common one.

Have you found it yet, Mr.

Duncan? Yes. It doesn't work.

That's probably because it's an old clunky phone

that I got of somebody, you know.

Yeah, I gave this to you because.

Because you're too tight to get a new one.

Well, I won't.

Needs too soon now, right?

Yes. We've got comments coming through.

And what So what do you think?

People have me hit YouTube on my phone.

I only watch it on my laptop.

I like how it's working. It's working. Uh,

now let's see if I can look

at the live chat without necessarily disconnecting Mr.

Duncan.

What would we do without Mr.

Duncan?

I'm addicted to Mr.

Duncan, says close.

Yeah, we know that. Close. Yeah,

between my tone and you.

But there's nothing wrong with that.

I, too, have been addicted to Mr.

Duncan for the last 30 odd years.

So I can understand your.

Your addiction.

Then I got no interest,

no wonder it's not working properly.

You've got about 500 apps open on your phone.

I keep telling Steve, Steve, I got to get rid of him.

I still don't know why you don't know how to use it.

Doesn't make any difference.

You don't need to get rid of them.

It is a difference because all of those

all of those programmes

that you keep in the background on your phone,

are you using them in the memory?

I understand that, but it only lets me.

It gets rid of them after 24 hours. Mr.

Ingram I've,

I've might put a setting in the fire anyway.

Are you enjoying this live stream by the way.

I'm not.

Are you enjoying.

Well, Steve, we can go back if you want.

I'm only joking.

It's my show now.

Hello. Welcome to Mr.

Duncan. Is in the countryside.

I'm bored with this view.

I'm going to change now.

I'm going to alter the view.

Wait there just a moment. Don't go away.

Oh, I have to say.

Oh, that's better.

I think that is a much better view.

You see, now behind me,

you can see clearly the beautiful view

and you could normally walk down this path as Steve

will now demonstrate.

Can you can you walk down that path, gets rid of me

just to demonstrate

that he goes

and I'm going to chase after Mr.

Steve

was an arse.

Oh, can you see this?

This is cow parsley.

Cow, parsley. Kind of partly.

You have some to eat now?

Oh, yes.

The cows like that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, Mr.

Steve is out of breath.

No, I'm not.

I'm just pretending I'm so fit.

You say

Yes.

Now that you slimmed down, it's annoyingly.

He's becoming

almost as fit as me, if not fitter, which is annoying.

I think I'm. I think I'm fitter than you.

We have a big field of oilseed rape

near us, which

thankfully the wind is not blowing in this direction.

Otherwise Mr.

Duncan would be coughing and sneezing just down there.

There's there's the most amazing field

and it's all yellow.

It's incredible.

But the only problem is

there isn't any signal in that area.

Where are the calves?

Says V Chance. Well, we're not at home.

We are far from home at the moment.

We are about a mile from home.

I would say probably not that far.

Halfway between here and halfway to much.

Wenlock Yeah,

that means nothing, by the way, to anyone.

Well, we say

let's just say we've walked a mile from the house

and we are doing this live stream

and now we're in the countryside enjoying the day.

The weather's lovely.

Apparently the weather is going to be nice.

I know that Tom always hates it

when I talk about the weather,

so I'm going to talk about the weather

and how

the weather today is lovely

and we are going to get a few days of nice weather

because apparently there's a lot of hot air

coming from

the Azores, A lot of hot air

coming out of our mouths in the Azores.

So we've got a lot of it's lovely.

I think it's high pressure at the moment

and when you get high pressure,

of course,

the weather becomes calm

and quite often you will get warm air

being drawn up from the Mediterranean.

We always hear a lot about the Azores, the Azores

in our weather forecasts, because

it's commonly an area where we get lots of hot,

dry weather.

It's sort of

because of the direction of the

the wind coming from the south west.

It's a swirl

and mass of heat and air called the jet stream.

And it all builds up around the Azores,

which I think is somewhere near the sort of

a switch

off the coast of Africa, some sort of in between.

As you leave as you leave, if you fly away from the UK

and Ireland, you go across

and you're heading towards Africa.

It's sort of that big area,

the west coast of Africa,

because it's because it's such an expanse of water.

You've got a hot air coming through and then the water

and it dries all of that air and sometimes

it goes to the north

and sometimes it goes to the south.

So at the moment it's in the far north, which means

we are getting lots of lovely warm weather.

It's very nice.

Overcast is what I would say.

If it's overcast, it means we've got clouds,

but there's a little bit of sun coming.

That's how you describe if it's an overcast day,

it means that

there's clouds in the sky

and you can't really see the sun very much.

Yes, but we have

we had lovely sunshine earlier, but now it's gone in.

It's gone,

which is good

because it means

I'm not ageing as we as we stand here.

It's it's a bit too late to worry about that.

It's a bit too late for that.

Steve

thank you are very, very sorry to the live chat, Mr.

Graham. Any questions?

I can't pay much attention today.

My phone is blowing up

and you're chopping onions as well too.

So you have to concentrate

because you don't want to chop

the end of one of your fingers off.

Florence Yes, we are both funny.

A lot of people say that we are funny.

I'm not sure which Brits type of funny,

so it can be funny as in humorous

or funny as in who

are you laughing with us

or are you laughing at us?

There is a big difference.

There's a big difference.

I think about that one.

I just assume people are laughing at me

because that's pretty much

what I've had most of my life.

I've just I've just come up with a good idea

by the way, go away.

If you're going to see me,

Steve is sneezing.

I've just come up with a very good idea for a game.

What is growing in the field?

Just over there.

So I'm going to show you the field because.

Because we don't know either.

So maybe there is someone out there

who is an expert on farming.

Maybe they can tell us what

what is growing in that field.

So there is the field over there.

But the big question is

what is the crop?

So does anyone know what that is

growing in that field?

Can anyone tell us the zoom in?

Mr. Duncan Yes, I have.

I just have. No, you can't.

It's only a mobile phone.

Unfortunately, it's not.

It's not £20,000 worth of equipment.

So there it is.

A crop is growing in the field.

But I wonder what it is.

What is the crop?

Does anyone know?

I think it might be sprouts.

I think it might be Brussels sprouts.

I'm going to have a closer look.

Mr. Graham.

Mr.

Steve is intrigued,

is going on to the farmer's land,

is going onto the farmer's land.

Steve is now

trespassing on the farmer's land.

You will get into a lot of trouble for that.

We're going to get into trouble.

I wonder what it is.

I think it is.

I think it's sprouts.

It's either that or broad bean.

Well, it could be, yes,

it could be broad beans.

Mr. Duncan.

That is a very good guess.

I think. Yes, I think it might be.

Might be broad beans, weeds.

No, they're not weeds are weeds as well.

Yes, there are weeds in there as well.

You're right.

But the farmer will no doubt spray

the field with weed killer.

Why do you want to look so close?

This is Steve.

When he's on camera,

he sort of starts talking and it says, Here, Hi, Mr.

Steve. And I'm talking now on the Internet.

And then suddenly he's right in front of the camera

and he can't see anything else.

Oh, my God. My eyes.

My eyes look so wrinkly.

I wouldn't get that close.

Mr. Duncan, that's not good.

Well, what about that crop over there? We can.

We can show the people that crop over there.

It's too far away.

You can see the colour.

Yes, but I can't.

But it's awkward to to film from here because.

Yes, sign the gate.

I think it's it's too far away.

People are saying I think it's

I think you might be right.

I think it's broad being.

Yes. That's a good guess.

I think it might be broad beans.

So what we will do four months from now,

we will do another live stream from here,

and then we will reveal what is growing in that field.

I bet you can't wait.

And there's Mr. Steve now with his giant finger.

Xavier just said hello.

Xavier has got a B1 exam today.

Oh, okay. That's an English.

Wow. That's fantastic. That's.

Yes, that's very good.

Maybe one of the questions will be

who is your favourite online teacher?

Yes.

If they ask you

who is your most favourite

English teacher in the world and who

the biggest award ever.

Yeah.

For teaching English, please mention my name.

Please say Mr. Duncan.

No one else. Okay.

Could you do that? Thank you.

Just just reference Mr.

Duncan everywhere on your English paper,

and you won't have to put much on there.

They'll just assume that, you know,

there's only 20 people watching, by the way.

That's right.

I don't know why at the moment.

My my views

and everything is really, really awful at the moment.

I What's happening? What?

Why don't you like me anymore?

Well, if I have, I said something

to the people that are watching my game.

Mr. Duncan.

Okay.

Whoever that I'm watching can't hear, you know,

But I'm just wondering what is happening. Maybe.

Maybe there are some other people

thinking the same way you say

how I if I offended you in some way,

you see that if I hurt you,

well, that's not going to help Mr. Duncan.

Okay,

Well, obviously not,

because the people that are watching are watching you.

They want to watch you, Mr. Duncan.

So, yes, good.

And best of luck with your exam.

So have you.

I think it's Xavier.

I think Xavier.

I think I pronounce your name correctly.

I used to know a French guy with the same name as you,

but say no more about that.

Where's Mr.

Duncan going?

He's wandering off in a robotic fashion.

Very interesting.

I bet Mr.

Duncan can't wait to go back to

see if the gate that I've oiled

really has stopped squeaking.

I'm your.

I'm your new teacher.

What? What were you saying?

That was interesting. No,

I was talking about the squeaking gate again, Mr.

Duncan.

Oh,

well, nobody's walked by.

No. First of abuse.

We were going to beat them up

with our big manly fists. Yes.

And we were going to show you, because this is how Mr.

Duncan is trying to attract viewers now.

Yes.

Violence mean that's what you need

past what everyone's doing now on Twitter and TikTok.

They were all filming fights in the street.

Who put them on, putting them on the Internet?

Who do you think I should shut that farmer's gate?

Mr. Duncan, Was it open when you came along?

No, that's what it was like. Uh,

it should be shut.

Really? Well, you can shut it if you want.

If you want to film it. No.

Particularly

if you want to film, you're closing a gate.

Might be interesting, but

this is where Mr.

Duncan got lost.

Once I did get lost up here,

it seems that got lost here

and ended up wandering through fields. Yeah, I just.

I took a wrong turning, that's all.

I was getting worried because I wonder where Mr.

Duncan it last year. I think it wasn't it.

Well it was that it was that field over there.

You know,

when we started the live stream today, that's where

I got lost.

I went through that fence,

that gate over there and got lost, completely lost.

And I couldn't tell where I was.

It's very strange feeling being lost about a mile

and a half from your house.

That's because

I'm stupid, I think. Yeah.

Anyway, right.

Apparently it runs in the family

stupidity.

It runs in my family.

Live chat.

I see something there, Mr. Duncan.

Maybe quality is better than quantity.

Yes, I suppose so.

Thank you, Florence.

I'm just having a look at your other finger.

Yes.

If you use this finger, you see, Then won't do that.

It's all right.

I'm just trying to get the hang of it.

Mr. Duncan,

in our technology, let's see how fast Mr.

Stephen. Mr.

Duncan can run away from the farm.

34 years.

Well, you know, it depends on what the farm is like.

I mean, if it's, you know,

handsome young farmers, son,

then I've never run towards them.

I've known this, but the farm son.

Yeah. Can I just tell you that really?

A bit sort of pervy.

Well, you know, obviously head 21 years.

I'm laughing with you.

It's not negative, says Florence.

Thank you very much for that. I

and battery issues,

as we know is chopping onions

and Mr.

Jenkins wandered off again

the grass is greener on the other side.

The water bill is higher too.

As jerk from Vitesse.

Can you see what I've got here?

I've got some little angels there waiting to fly away.

These little angels.

So what you have to do,

you have to blow on the angels,

and then you have to make a wish at the same time.

And then they all fly away.

And hopefully one day your will come true.

What do you think, Mr. Steve?

Shall we give it a blow?

Would you like to play with me? Yes.

Yes, There will be scenes of two men

blowing on a dandelion.

Dandelion?

That's what this is, A dandelion.

So this is what happens when a dandelion goes to seed

and then all of these things fly away.

Oh, Mr. Steve's gone.

Okay, that's me moment ruined.

No, look, it's ruined before.

Before,

before, after we go.

Before, after, before, after, before, after.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

And we've now deprived that dandelion of ever

coming to seed and procreating.

That's it.

So this now this is basically plant murder.

I've murdered that that plant.

And this is where it begins.

You see, one day

you are killing dandelions, the next day

you are strangling your neighbours. Don't.

This is how it begins, right?

There you go. Let's go.

Let's go to see that blow.

Are you ready?

And how delightful.

It's not love.

What a lovely moment of time that was.

And we were able to share it with

with with you out there in YouTube land.

We've we've we've helped that dandelion to spread

its seed far across the local area.

Yeah. I'm saying nothing

and Yeah well I mean

there's dandelions everywhere you reported this

the weekend that I reported,

I think I think we talked about it.

Oh, God.

You know, one of those seeds and now knows Mr.

Duncan always come from down.

If the wind the wind itself, you see, normally

that's how it happened. Yes.

In the wind they will just and

it's a bit floppy.

They blow away rabbits like dandelions.

But I don't think there's many rabbits around here

because there are lots of dandelions.

And if there were lots of rabbits around here,

I think if some of us shoot them or poison them

or gas them, guess how do you guess a rabbit?

You put gas down, it's down, it's homes.

Oh, that sounds good.

Which hell?

The front or the back.

Well, rabbits

they live in, They live in holes in the ground.

Actually, the holes in the ground.

What do you call the whole insects?

Burrows. They are burrows.

Rabbits live in burrows.

Burrows Badgers live insects.

Of course, burrow can also be the the verb.

If you are digging underground,

you see, if you dig in the ground,

you burrow underground.

Then that is also the name of a rabbit's house.

Yes. Yes. Claudia,

this is what I have to do

in on my lawn

is I have to go around with weedkiller

and and remove the dandelions.

If you seem to enjoy killing,

I use a lot of chemicals in my garden, like.

And you like killing wildlife.

Well, the thing is, if you've got a lawn,

you've got to take care of it.

You've got to get rid of the moss,

you've got to get rid of the weeds,

because if you don't and I treat my lawn twice a year

with these pellets and you sort of sprinkle them over

using an applicator

and it kills off all the weeds in the moss.

But if you don't do it,

then you end up with more weeds than grass

and it doesn't look very nice.

So you have to treat it.

Unfortunately, with chemicals, there's no other way.

And I could see Mr.

Duncan coming up behind me with cow power.

So I'm not because I'm hiding his cow pass.

I'm hiding.

You can't see me. I'm hiding.

So this is my clever disguise.

It does look a bit like parsley.

You can't see me.

You see? You can't see me.

I'm hiding.

It's amazing. This.

This is my special SS.

Disguised cows do love this.

I think it's probably

after grass, their next favourite

green thing to eat.

And.

But it grows very quickly.

It must grow like

two or three centimetres a day, at least, because

in a week this is shot up around here

that'll die off.

And it comes very early in the summer

and that will all have gone to seed

within the next few weeks.

So that plant Florence, it's cow parsley,

that's what it's called. It's cool.

You don't tap, you swipe.

I well you know that's a cow in the middle

of that area,

cow parsley,

because cows like to eat it, I think.

And it just the leaves look like parsley.

Yeah.

Which is a herb which you put in food.

Yes.

I actually think Claudia and I worried about that.

I don't think you can put cow,

cow parsley in your food.

I think that would be very dangerous.

Exactly.

Now, I don't think you could eat

cow parts of a normal pasture.

You could not.

But not a cow a bit.

But anyway, we'll bring some to Paris with us

for you all to see.

I'll bring a whole suitcase full of cow parsley.

Yes, that's it. Exactly.

And

so I thought you were going to shout abuse.

I thought you were going to shout abuse at them.

Well, that's not shouting.

Call a dog.

I've seen bigger hamsters,

Mr. Duncan.

I'm being naughty.

Naughty.

Not really being naughty because going to be.

No, they can't see you.

Oh, my goodness.

Everybody is phoning today.

They don't.

Let me watch today's livestream.

First my brother,

then a patient and then a lady who sells

dentistry merchandise and now a friend.

Claudia. Just tell them to get lost.

Claudia is popular times.

You've got to be assertive.

Assert yourself.

No, I'm watching Mr.

Duncan on the livestream.

Go away

and they will wonder

what the hell you're talking about.

Get anything out of life.

Unless you're a searcher,

so they won't know what you're talking about.

Though you say they'll say what to Mr.

Duncan, and Claudia will say

It's it's a crazy guy on the Internet.

It is. It's really weird.

Who were those two that just went by?

Who do you think?

I don't know. I don't recognise them.

I don't think we know them.

But yes, we have got people going by.

Well, they've gone there.

They've gone now. Yes.

We don't know who they are.

We've never seen them before.

They didn't say hello but they had,

they had really small dogs.

What's the point.

What's the point of having a really small dog?

It's almost like no

dog really, when you think about it.

But it's probably got a very loud bark.

Oh, yeah.

Because the smaller the dog, the louder the bark.

I think

you dome's here from Bangkok.

Hello, old man in Bangkok.

Nice to see you here.

How are the elections going at the moment?

Because there are some

some politics happening at the moment in Thailand.

Yes, we can talk about that.

You see, it's not just stupid conversation

about dogs and cow parsley.

We can talk global politics as well.

So it's all happening at the moment

in macroeconomics just just give us a subject.

We'll talk about it.

But they're trying

they're trying to have a lot of reforms

you see in Thailand.

So so that they are thinking

at the moment that there might be

there might be a lot of reforms

taking place in Thailand,

making things a little better.

All right.

Well, of course, a lot of people in

AI in Turkey

are trying to well, a voting as well.

Well, they have been quite significant as to in

they have voted,

but now they have to have another vote.

They have to have a vote.

They call it a runoff.

A runoff because nobody got past the 50%

qualifying level.

But it's looking at the moment, it looks at the moment

as if Erdogan will get back a status quo.

They won't be able to remain the same,

where a very good group did.

You know that status quo started out as a folk group

before they got into the rock and roll thing.

All the guitars and everything they

they used to do folk, they were like folk folk group.

A folk group is what I'm saying.

They just had a German shepherd.

I hope you kept it on the lead.

Who was at the start of a joke?

I used to know a German shepherd.

He was a very nice man.

That's right. Yes.

I think that's where you're going with that.

Oh, yes.

I wonder if the German Shepherd is

a dog that in Germany

has some something to do with the control of sheep.

A bit like a sheep.

Doctors here in the UK.

I can't imagine a German shepherd

taking care of sheep, maybe eating sheep,

attacking them,

but I'm not sure about being an actual shepherd.

Maybe the shepherds have the dogs to protect them

against other animals.

Yes, mate.

Or maybe.

Maybe the German shepherd

is there to protect the farmer from the sheep

because the sheep in Germany are quite, quite violent.

They've all, they've got big teeth.

And I say they don't just eat

grass, they're omnivores. Yes.

They eat people as well.

Yes. It's probably yes.

If someone could tell us

why is a German shepherd called a German shepherd.

Why, why, why?

My theory is, is to the shepherds.

In the olden days

when there were lots of wild animals roaming around,

and it was there to protect the farmer

and the sheep against maybe, maybe wild boar or movies

or something. As a wild boar here at the moment,

yes.

Because of course, we don't have any

sort of animals

roaming around in our countryside anymore.

They were all killed centuries ago.

But we do have wild animals,

but not ones that can sort of eat you.

We don't have logic in Germany.

They've still got bears,

haven't they, Roaming in the forests?

Yes, but we don't have them here.

We don't have bears. But.

But sometimes the squirrels

can get together in a big gang

and they can give you a nasty chew on your face.

Because people have asked us before

when we're out in the countryside, particularly

when Mr.

Duncan is filming in maybe a forest or a wood,

aren't you worried about being attacked?

But we don't have, uh, wild animals.

If anything, I'm worried about being attacked by it is

another human beings,

because they are the worst.

Although they do say

that there are some Black Panthers

that have escaped into the

and are living in parts of the UK.

But is that true?

Do you have a beaver in your area?

I was me.

I stay far away from beavers, Steve.

I have to say Steve is not a big fan of beavers.

No, I've never been near a beaver.

I believe they can give you a nasty bite.

The closest I came is when I was.

My mother gave birth to me.

Ever since then, I've stayed there.

You don't. You don't do that.

I'm going to have to teach you

the method of actually telling jokes.

Oh, well, anyway.

Student Yeah, but people are used to. We're being too

vague with it, with our jokes.

Steve says we're being too

vague.

Well, sometimes

if you make it more so, the word will come to your

When being to Marcel Marceau,

of course we understand that you make a You did me.

We were being very rude.

We were.

No, we don't.

You don't have to do that, Steve.

All I'm saying is Mick was referring to the animal.

Yes, well, I was.

Yes, well, I've.

It's been a while

since I've seen a beaver, but as in English,

the same word can have different meanings.

And you'll have to look that up because

alternative

meanings to the word beaver.

And then you know what we were saying.

Let's have a look at the live chat show.

I am Disassociate Said to Beaver.

Yes.

Well, I mean, that's that's been on there for ages.

I know what it's an animal with with big front teeth.

Yes.

It looks like a sort of a a giant sort of it's

quite it's quite hairy, quite hairy, quite big.

And it chews into wood and forms dams in rivers.

Okay, then the common beaver is very hairy, but.

But I think there was there was

there was smooth fun.

What the heck. Yeah.

You know, you can shave them, can't you?

I think this is going.

I haven't seen a hairy beaver or a smooth one, Mr.

Duncan, I can quite categorically confirm to you.

Well, I have seen a hairy one. Actually, it wasn't.

It wasn't a very nice one.

This is my mother.

She didn't have any clothes on.

I went in the room once in a bedroom,

and I was confronted with

a sight that I'll never forget.

But there we go.

I think Florence is now understanding.

I've got to now

double trouble.

So don't say

we never teach you anything but

they have tried to release beavers in.

Yes, they have.

Make your right.

I think that they are trying

to reintroduce beavers into the UK.

Of course, that could all go horribly wrong

because they can be

quite destructive,

which is why we got rid of them in the first place.

Well,

I think they are the only animal

that creates its own eco system, right?

Or it's the only animal that actively destroys

its own ecosystem

because they chop down

all the trees with their big teeth.

That's it.

And then they block rivers and things like that,

which is why we hunted them to extinction in the UK

a long time ago.

We went around with a big,

a big piece of wood and just trying to whack them.

So let's see if this back to nature experiment works

or, you know, in ten years time we'll be

the farmers will be out with their guns

and I'll be up to my know the numbers.

I'll be up to my neck in Beaver,

which is

something only a heterosexual man would want to do.

So that that's too on the nose.

Not on the nose.

It doesn't.

It's that doesn't work as a joke.

Well, I think it's there.

Yeah. Okay. Well, as far as attending.

Oh, yes.

There are alternative meanings to the word beaver.

Yeah, you just are sorry.

And you only hinting at that is isn't comic effects.

It's just that. Yes. Okay.

Don't. Don't kill it.

Kill the joke.

Well, nobody's

nobody's

alluded to the fact

that they may understand the double meaning. Yes.

You don't have to allude.

You leave it.

You leave it for the viewer to work out.

Well, that's what I'm asking.

Have you worked it out? Yes, I'm sure.

I'm sure. It's getting hot under the sun.

There are many adults watching today,

many adults who understand the world.

We don't want to offend,

but we're not offending anyone, really.

Also, we're not offending you.

Are you offended? I'm scared of beavers.

Yes, very scared And should.

I've stayed away from them my entire life. Yeah.

Are we talking about the animals?

Do

I hope so?

Well, I think we've almost run out of things to say.

I think we have.

I think because the sun's come out now.

Only two

people came by

and didn't feel in the mood to be with them.

I thought, No, I didn't go.

I did give them a dirty look.

They gave us a dirty look.

I'm surprised

they were within their rights

to come up to us

and know and say,

I don't wish to be filmed,

but then they're in a public place.

So I don't think that rule would apply.

It doesn't apply in the middle of the countryside.

Probably doesn't. It isn't.

What are you doing?

I'm just having a look as I can't be everywhere,

I think.

Right.

You know, when you read what's on the screen,

you have to read it clearly.

Don't go out there.

Survive in just a small part of what I do.

Mr. Duncan, I know this can't change.

There's a beaver here.

Look, there's this big microphone of yours.

Looks like a giant beaver.

It's great, though.

So it's obviously an elderly beaver.

Yeah, that's what happens.

Apparently, they go.

They go grey when they get old.

You can't see Mr.

Duncan's microphone.

I'm referring to Mr. Duncan. The microphone.

That's so. Yes. Okay.

Just, you know, because, you know,

there we go.

You see, kill it.

Did you know actually this funny you should say that,

because this is actually called a dead wombat.

That's the technical term for that fluffy thing

that goes over the microphone is actually called

a dead wombat

because it looks

like an animal that's been hit by a car.

It's true.

Are you cold?

No reason.

I'm trying to keep the sense of my neck

because I don't want that old man neck.

I elderly man get these sort

of straggly necks

that sort of look like they're made of old leather.

I hate to say this due to being in the sun too much.

So, you know,

it's a bit too late for that, I'm afraid,

if I ask for that.

Mr. Duncan.

You asked for that.

It it is all new hot.

I am hot.

Yes.

You've got

Steve's got two layers on

and I'm just wearing one layer.

Well.

Oh, okay. But Mr.

you can look at that. Can you see it.

Oh, do you like that.

Oh is this disgust, Is it making you excited.

No,

it making me.

Yeah. Anyway. Right.

This makes the sound clear.

Yeah. When you bring the microphone all wrong.

So the dead wombat, it stops the wind

noise from affecting the sound.

Snoring is another new word for me.

Yes.

No ring,

you know, into something.

It means you're sort of taking little bits out of it.

Like a beaver would gnaw into a tree

trunk slowly, sort of

taking little bites out with it.

Strong front teeth.

Yes, you might.

I suppose another way would be nibble

bites.

Rats gnaw into things they know

and they like that with a relish,

and

eventually they get it.

It denotes the fact that you've got to,

you know, you constantly.

He's sort of chewing something. Yeah.

And taking chunks, little bits out of it.

It is amazes me how they're able to do that.

I'm always fascinated by the woodpecker.

It always fascinates me

how they're able

to actually hollow out a tree with a beak.

But would you say a bird nose into,

something they peck, they pack.

Exactly. And hence woodpecker.

So you've got to have teeth to gnaw into something.

Yeah. See, we can gnaw into something.

If you've got maybe an apple,

you can gnaw into an apple.

Just little bites of it.

It's a sort of a long process, isn't it.

It's not like it's not a slow process.

It's a long process.

I think eventually they will

evolution will allow

them to learn how to use a little chainsaw

so they can just move very

young, young, young

and

the viewer is going to discover up

to 29, 29 people watching,

they're going to stay for longer.

Goodness gracious, you've got nothing else to say.

We're running out of things to say now.

We've been on for an hour now. Feels like it.

It does feel like it.

I bet it feels like an hour to you as

I'm going to cock my hat.

My fingernails are so long,

I'm going to cock my hat to Mr. Dinka.

My fingernails are very long.

But why is anyone interested in that?

I don't know.

But I've just noticed my cell phone.

I'm cocking my hat.

Mr. Duncan.

Yes,

I know you said that

you cock your hat means you put it at an angle.

Yes, it looks very jaunty.

Jaunty.

But the reason I'm doing it

is because the sun is coming in from this y,

and I'm trying to.

As you know, I'm obsessed with anti-ageing,

and so I'm trying to stop.

It's a bit like damage on my neck.

It's a bit late for that.

It is. Later I put my colour up.

Should it be worried about it? 30 years ago?

It's too late now.

It's too late.

It's never too late. It's never too late.

It's over.

What?

The livestream and everything else.

I haven't seen. Louis.

Did you mention

this is something I wanted to mention last Sunday.

Did you mention your big news?

I think I've never mentioned it.

I don't think you had the time going.

You mentioned the fact

that you were going for a job interview,

but you haven't told us what the result of the job

interview was.

The result is I'm got the job.

Yeah.

He's going to start working again to go back to work

again.

He's going to start working again. Is he?

He's crazy.

Mr. Duncan's not too pleased.

Well, it's not that I'm not pleased.

I'm just surprised that you've decided to go back

to the thing that you were so glad to stop doing.

Yes, but this is with a different company,

and I'm

hoping that they will be better than the last company.

But if they're not, I'm in a good position.

I can just tell them to get lost.

Yeah, probably best not to say that in public.

That's true.

Yes. Now, the company.

I'm desperate to go back to work. I need them.

I know. That's just as bad, by the way.

I guess the reason is because we.

We're going to Paris, you see,

and we need to pay for it.

That's it. So Mr.

Steve is now having to take on a job so we can pay

for the the plane ride.

And also we're going to be sleeping

on the streets in a small tent

so we won't have to know I'm working. Mr. Duncan.

We can

we can we can sleep in, you know, in a nice hotel.

We're

going to sleep under the Oak tree.

Yes.

And I'm hoping to get some business there

in the evenings,

you know, bit a bit of a bit of new trade in the city.

What?

And I think that's inappropriate.

I didn't say I'm joking. I'm joking.

But it's it's inappropriate anyway.

It's a joke, you know. But a new meet in the city.

Yeah.

They'll reckon you know, I'll see,

they'll see my pale skin

and I'll be attracted to that.

They'll just think it's an old piece admitting

that someone's left lying around and says, Hey, look,

somebody new in town, look over.

This is some old mutton

lying, lying under Arc de Triomphe.

Fresh meat.

It's not fresh meat, trust me.

Well, that's

a phrase that people use to describe

if you're going clubbing, for example. What?

Well, I'm just it's it's

it's a word that people used to think.

And yes,

so there might be a night club somewhere or a bar.

Everyone is used to seeing the same people

and they've probably all dated each other

at some point.

And then somebody new comes

in that no one's seen before

and has maybe they've moved into the area

and people will say, Ooh, look, fresh meat.

This sounds like this sounds They say

this sounds like

maybe an experience that you've had in the past,

though they do say, but they do sell fresh meat.

Yes. Meaning?

Oh, there's somebody new that we can chat up.

Yeah, it's done.

I mean, I've heard.

So would you say that about a woman?

I don't think you know,

I think you only say that about a man, don't you?

I think if it's a woman.

So a woman would say that a man is fresh meat.

Well, a man would say that about other men I'm

talking about.

Oh, it's one of those I'm talking about,

you know, in the in the UK, it's the gays

we will say or people will say fresh meat.

I mean, somebody new who's attractive in town

now, a man, actress, sexual man in a club will say,

Oh, Totty,

They will use the phrase TOTTY.

No one says they do.

They do TOTTY refers to,

you know, an attractive, available woman.

When was the last time you went out anywhere

with people who were under the age of 70?

It's I think it's been a long time, to be honest.

That is a phrase that is commonly used anyway.

There's somebody coming and really with the abuse now,

I'm not going to do that, Mr. Duncan.

I'm going to

I'm going to tell her her dog

looks like a giant, right?

Just jump.

I could hear you all the way.

Janice jokes, as always,

as a perfect man, doesn't swear, doesn't smoke,

doesn't get angry, doesn't drink, he doesn't exist.

So that saying that none of those things exist,

you say

none of those things

actually exist in a man because men normally are.

They like to drink, they like to smoke,

they like to swear.

I don't know.

I'm not saying you do.

I'm saying that's what the joke is, right?

The joke.

I'm explaining that the tests just make

you seem more worried about the man.

She was very friendly.

Did you see that?

She waved and said hello.

And I waved and said, Hello.

That's courtesy.

That was the other first two that came through.

They noticed that we weren't even here.

I was going to ask if she's seen any beavers.

Probably not since she got up this morning.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay, do that.

Anyway, right there.

There's no beavers in this area, Mr. Duncan.

Well, there was one, but it's it's fast retreating.

Joking, joking.

He's on jokes, by the way. This is just offensive.

Well, I started.

I didn't. I'm not.

I don't mean to offend.

If I've offended, I apologise.

I just saw the sun on my face.

Then I've aged a few hours.

Just simple bit of exposure.

If anything, the sun is healing your face.

That's it?

Yeah. If that's what you want to do.

You want to do that?

Isn't that lovely?

Getting a bit of sun on my face?

Yeah, a little bit is good for you.

Need the vitamin D you see.

Well, I take vitamin D supplements for that.

Okay.

Right. There we go.

Trust me, it's not working.

Vitamin D is not working.

I would send it back straight away.

There's a giant dunk

plant over there.

Okay. Hark!

What?

Hark ahead.

What you say when you.

When you hear something.

You mean in the 18th century?

No. Say it now.

People say now you hear a sound.

You go, Hark!

What was that, sir?

If you want a sound, sort

of, you know, Coach cultured,

you hear you're in company and you hear a noise.

You want to sound unusual sound

if you want to sound out of touch.

So Hark, What was that?

What was that, sir?

What bird do be tweeting on yonder?

It's a cow, says V.

It did sound like a cow. You're absolutely right.

It did sound like a cow.

Or you weren't referring to that lady that went past.

Are you?

You mean the sound that we just heard? Yes.

That's funny. See, that was funny.

But don't push it.

Don't pressure. Look,

because you are that is that is an abusive word for.

Oh, yes. Don't don't say that.

You don't need to explain it in that way. Yeah.

I think what

people learning English as a second language,

as I always say that most people that watches

and I'm I'm including you as well a very intelligent a

well I know but I'm just explaining

that they might not know

people might not realise the words of abuse

that are used towards, you know, different sexes.

I think,

I think actually to

be fair, in on a serious point, I think women

receive a lot more abuse

and there are more bad words than men

when you think about it.

And I think that's very unfair.

I don't know whether it's

unfair or not,

and it just depends, isn't it really?

I would say. But yeah, I would. I don't know.

But that is one word you can

that you could do a lesson on that abusive words

you can use against men and women.

How about that. Do you want that?

Has that ever been done?

Well,

I'm sure one of the other big

YouTube English teachers has done it

well and they've probably got millions

and millions of views for it.

But we could we could explain the common

word to use.

You've just tomes of abuse. You just said that.

Why are you saying it again?

And I can say that because I like saying those words.

Mr. Duncan.

Anyway, we ought to balance it out by saying

what is a common you like using abusive words?

One I'm joking, I'm joking.

I'm getting a bit tired Mr. Duncan.

It's like Steve always seems like he's just coming

round from anaesthetic

When he's speaking, it's always

so It was like the ramblings of a person who's

just coming round after a five hour operation.

Yeah, I like to say abusive words to people

that you see the.

Let's talk about the duckling, shall we.

Why? Well, because it's relevant.

We're in the country.

We are in the country.

Yes, the country is England

and there is a plant called the duck.

I don't know.

It's called the duck plant.

You're telling me, Steve, you're asking me questions

about something you're talking about,

and it's got these broad eigenvectors on Mr.

Duncan.

Now's your chance to click away.

You can go watch something else.

I'm sure there must be some Family Guy episodes

because someone has illegally uploaded onto YouTube.

Yeah.

Click, click.

Now relax in the corner.

Click it now. Go by.

I think that's the leaf.

That's a doc leaf.

D.O.C..

I think it's there.

See, you're telling us and

you, if you get stoned, which you often do,

if you're walking with shorts on by nettles, nettles

and it's all the s

nettles that have leaves that sting you don't they?

Nettles. You know, nettles.

And we always used to say parents always used to say,

if you get stung by a nettle,

then you get the doc leaf and you rub it

into, into the stings from the nettles.

So if you get a sting on your hand, you take it

if you can find one, of course.

And then you just rip it like that

and it's supposed to ease ease

the the stinging from the nettles.

Because I think the idea is that

the nettle is acid,

the sting, and that alkaline

and it's supposed to balance. I don't know.

I know you don't know.

I can tell you.

I think that's the theory.

But So welcome to Mr.

Steve brings up a subject talk about

and he doesn't really know much about it.

Well, I do.

That's just what my mother told me.

You know,

you remember things about what your mother taught

you and your parents.

When you grow up.

It's a shame she didn't teach you about beavers.

I began that.

So there it is.

There is a doc. Leave, Mr.

Tangent.

Mr. Steve has told something today.

It's 44 degrees.

If you get a sting on your hand from a nettle,

use one of these.

You rub on it, you rub it on your sting.

Though this though,

this is saying a vote is saying it's

44 degrees in India at the moment That is hot.

That is hot. That is very hot.

So yes.

Well, I mean, it's probably quite what it is

hot here, too.

That's humid, humid, humid, humid and humid.

It's about it's only around 18.

It feels a lot, I think here.

I think it must have

you've got a temperature thing on your phone.

But tell us a temp.

Well, I'm not in the

you may have noticed

we're actually doing a live stream

at the moment on the phone.

I think where we are is considerably hotter.

Yes. It's when I left the house.

Trust

me, Steve, when I left the house, it was 18 today.

We had a sort of sheltered area.

Yes.

Even the even the man on the television last night

said, it would be about 18 or 19.

It's more than that.

Yeah.

Anyway, but they measure it in the shade anyway,

do they.

Yeah.

How do you know that?

Well,

because the devices that they use

to measure it are all in these boxes

and it's not in direct sunlight.

We used to have a weather station at school

and it had all these interesting little devices.

There was this little thing that would

stick up in the air and it had little cups

all the way around it and it would spin around

and that would measure the speed of the wind,

the average speed of the wind.

And what was that device called?

Trying to remember what it was called.

But it had a very strange name

and it was it and an anemometer.

At the moment I think it is something like that.

Something like that. There should be a window metre

to make it

an anemometer or an annulment, something like that.

Somebody can look it up for us.

We're not in a position to be able to confirm that.

It's 32 Celsius, their motion is

32,000 in India as well.

So that's that's very hot.

Are you in India having a heat wave at the moment?

They're having a heat wave in Malaysia,

which is incredible because it's always hot there.

I've got floods in Italy, says Christina.

And it's only 12 degrees, says

Florence, which is obviously in Italy as well.

I think so, yes. Extremes.

Whereas it's quite warm here.

I'm

having nice time actually

with the weather,

if I was honest with you and I know that you love

I know you love it when we talk about the weather,

our motions in Saudi Arabia, of course. Yes.

I remember now,

because I've had this conversation before,

because I was going to go and work in Riyadh.

You were slightly off there, weren't you?

Slightly off motions in muscle.

Remember those in Saudi Arabia?

Yeah, I was in Saudi Arabia, Yes.

I was going to go to work in Riyadh once.

Alessandra is in Italy.

Good.

I got that one right now.

Florence is in Switzerland,

so I've got that wrong as well.

I can never remember.

What you have to do is never mention it.

Never, never Never mention things that you don't know

for sure now. Because.

Because if you

if you don't know

and then you ask yourself the question, do I know it?

And then you don't know.

You're actually making yourself look foolish now.

Somewhere we could meet up next time.

Switzerland. Switzerland. Yes.

Because Mr.

Steve will need to take two jobs, I think

because I've never been to Switzerland

and I've always wanted to go.

Yes,

he's never mentioned it to me, by the way.

I have never.

I think you've never mentioned Switzerland.

Switzerland? Yes. I would like to go there

just because of the chocolate.

Really.

Just to get cheap chocolate.

You can just get to the local shops though.

Can get and get VAT get some linked.

Yes.

Well they sell in the spar shop in much Wenlock.

I know, I know.

You didn't have to go all the way.

They had Riad, the capital of Saudi Arabia.

I live in eastern

Saudi Arabia, so it's probably a bit cooler.

Florence, as I'm waiting for you.

Mr. Steve.

Oh, right. Okay. Trust me.

Trust me.

Don't. It's not worth the wait.

It is not worth the wait.

Definitely not worth it goes well.

What?

One day when we do come over,

whenever we visit a country, we will tell you.

And then see me.

We are going to visit any other countries.

First of all, we're going

to see what happens in Paris.

So if Paris is a complete disaster,

we won't do it ever again.

But if it is a resounding success

and we have the best time ever in our lives,

then we might do it again.

So it depends, really.

It's up to you, if you will, meeting us in Paris.

You have to make it a good one.

But at this way

I'm going to be wearing Kevlar body armour.

Yes, You said this the other day.

I know, but I'm just repeating it.

It wasn't funny then

because, you know, we don't know who you are

or whether you've got any criminal.

We ought to do background checks, really.

We ought to employ a company to do background checks.

Check, check, check, check.

Look.

Anyway, Mr. Duncan, I'm getting tired.

You know, we're not doing anything.

Well, I'm just.

Well, I'm standing.

How can you get tired doing standing for an hour?

You are the only person I know

who can get tired doing nothing.

But with your great big feet, what they help

you do to use

very little energy to stay, stay upright.

But what I a of one of my feet got to do with it.

Well, because if you've got big feet

and it's easy for you to stand up, it's not true.

It's a lie because it's sort of, you know,

it's like a stable platform.

No, that's prejudiced

is prejudice against people with big feet.

That's why clowns have

such a bad time in their life

because of their large feet.

I think so.

Hi. This is nursing.

Yeah. Oh, right. Yes.

Um,

right.

What?

The ground is looking.

Have you noticed we haven't had rain for a few days

and cracks are appearing in the

in the soil that they're appearing everywhere,

including our presentation skills.

Yes.

So cracks,

you can use that phrase

in at least two different ways.

So a crack, obviously, is

something that opens up

in the ground crack.

It's actually a gap.

It's a gap that opens up in the ground.

Yeah.

Usually, you know they might have a crack in the wall.

You might have a crack in your vase.

You might have a crack on the dry soil or the earth.

When it dries, it becomes very cracked

as everything in the ground will,

will, will dry out and then cracks will appear.

Cracks, as you say, can appear in your wall at home.

And then you've got to

put some filler in there and repaint it.

But if if you use if you do a task,

if you're doing something like

presenting on YouTube,

but you are, your ability to do

that seems to be declining like, like us,

then you can say cracks are beginning to show

in their ability to present

a cohesive live stream and cracks are beginning

to show,

the implication being that things are falling apart

a bit. They're not as good as they were.

Maybe in a relationship

like, for example, maybe, maybe Harry and Meghan.

Did you hear the news about Harry and Meghan?

They they had a near, near catastrophe, haven't they?

Now,

correct me if I'm wrong,

but a near catastrophe is not a catastrophe.

Is that right?

Would that be if you have a near catastrophe?

Well,

I think that

that means you didn't have like a close shave.

You could say a close shave,

but apparently you can't really have a high speed

chase through the streets of New York because

the traffic is so bad.

I'm sure it was exaggerated.

I think going back to what we were talking about,

cracks are beginning to show.

Yes, that's a good example, Mr.

Duncan,

a relationship that seems to be going very well.

And then suddenly you you hear

maybe next or neighbours, you hit the railing

or one of them walks out of the house and you can say

that relationship isn't going very well.

The cracks are beginning to show.

So that's a phrase worth remembering.

Of course, crack is also used

as a word to describe a particularly

powerful drug

you can get on the streets.

I've never tried it myself, but maybe one day.

And, you know

what? Mr.

Duncan wandering off to you that he's wandering off

and leaving me holding the fort.

We've used that expression.

It's an idiom to describe somebody

carrying on

with something

on their own when somebody else has abandoned them.

Uh But it looks like Mr.

Duncan is coming back.

I got something for you, Steve.

It's a bit of a buttercup.

Do you like them?

And there is a little thing you can do.

You can put it under their chin.

And if it glows,

which it is, it means you like, better, you see?

So if it glows,

which it is, can you see it glowing?

That means Mr.

Steve, like better,

buttercup, so-called.

Because it it's the colour of butter.

I don't know.

So you're giving information about something

we don't actually know?

It's cup shaped, isn't it.

The flower is cup shaped.

Shaped a bit like a cup would hold something

and it's yellow which is the colour of butter.

So I'm guessing its name derives from the fact that,

uh, it,

it is shaped like a cup and it's the colour of butter.

It's not lovely.

Uh, yes, this is the,

this is the best part of the whole live stream.

This.

So save this, save this part here.

All we need now is some clover.

Oh, we've got some clover, Mr.

Duncan, down here. That's a good one, too.

If you're bored

when you are out and about in the countryside.

And maybe you sat down to have something to eat

or sat down for a drink

for while you're having a rest

and you see some buttercup as you see some

not buttercups.

You see some.

What was I talking about just then?

Clover?

You see some clover?

What does everybody look for?

Because clover has three

leaves, doesn't it. On it.

But if you find a four leaf,

it's supposed to be good luck.

So let me demonstrate, Mr.

Duncan.

Do you like my buttercup?

I'm wearing it now.

Like. Like a piece of clothing.

I think it's very lovely.

This could be the new trend for 2023.

This could be the Buttercup challenge on ticked up.

People have to wear as many buttercups as they can

without falling over.

It's not lovely.

It's got.

It's gone all limp.

Have a limp. One.

As you can see, I think it's my age.

There you go, Mr. Duncan.

There we go.

There is a clover leaf from a clover plant.

And as you can see, it has three

separate

leaves on it on the stalk.

And that, of course, is what you

to see with clover, three leafed clover.

But occasionally in nature

you will find a cloverleaf

with four little leaves coming off it.

I like the way you're holding it

in front of a green background.

You got to see it.

Put it in front of my shirt.

You do it.

And I know that there's just tragic.

You can see it.

Occasionally you will find in nature

a clover with four leaves on it.

And but they're very rare.

Very rare, as I'm sure you know.

And so if you're sitting in a field of clover,

you can search through and find that

elusive, elusive four leaf clover.

Something is elusive.

It's hard to find.

So why do you need one?

Because it's good luck. Is it?

You make a wish.

How has that been proved?

Well, it's just it's a folklore, isn't it?

Is it?

But it's not true. Well,

folklore is not true.

Well, I know, but it's true that there are. There are.

I have seen a four leaf clover.

Yes, I'm sure they exist.

But it doesn't mean that they're lucky.

Well, I didn't ruin it.

That's what people say.

It's all made in the four leaf clover.

So it's good luck. It's all made up.

I think it's good luck so far.

The Christmas dawn, Nugent.

Yeah, exactly.

We want good luck for our trip to Paris.

Yes, We need all the luck.

All the luck we can get here.

I'm looking now for four leaf clover.

Do you want me to have a look?

I don't know. You're not going to find one, Steve.

This one takes a long time.

I don't think my battery will last that long.

And I think my legs will.

Oh, Mr.

Steve, it's 1126 in Japan

and 526 in Saudi Arabia.

Oh, it is year 326.

So we are in between

those two times

due to the fact that we're in different

latitudes only.

Yes,

they get a lot of people like my watch.

It's, it's retro.

You see

there it is.

A lot of people say we like your watch.

Mr. Duncan.

It's retro.

This watch, by the way, is about 25 years old.

This is one of the original Casio calculator

watches from the mid 1990s.

Oh, I was looking for four leaf clover

getting bit obsessed with it.

Now I tell you that you're just going to find one.

Anyone ever found it?

If you can find a full leaf clover like that,

it doesn't mean that they're not at all.

Please tell us,

have you ever found a four leaf clover?

Please let us know.

Christina asks.

Is it a good luck?

Yes.

Folklore says it is. Yes.

And folklore, of course, is not actual law.

It's just what people say and pass down to each other

through the generations.

But yes, it is supposed to be lucky.

If you find one, you make a wish

and hope that it will come true.

Hello to Toowong.

Toowong

Darl who is watching and I think you are in Vietnam.

Hello from Vietnam.

We are talking to you now from England.

Good old England.

Oh, the sea going powered by.

Look at that.

Is that one of the ones?

Can you see that, Mr. Duncan?

It's the seed everywhere out here.

Because, of course,

the flowers are

growing very fast because the conditions are ideal.

It's sort of late spring and early summer.

It's officially in summer, yet

technically, it's still spring. Right. Okay.

So it doesn't begin till the 21st of June.

Oh, right.

I believe, if I'm not mistaken,

I think it's normally June.

Summertime begins. I hope you're this live stream.

I haven't been here for much longer.

Well, no, I'm pretty. Well, I'm. Why?

Where are you going?

Well, I'm going to go and sit down

because my back's aching.

Poor Mr. Steele. This is the problem.

You see. See, I'm not.

I'm much younger than Mr. Steve.

I'm just a young, young lad

that Mr.

Steve pulled off the streets one day

when I was begging for food.

You've lost that.

That is my story.

You see, That's the back story of how we met.

I was. I was begging.

Yeah. Mr..

Mr.. Give me that.

Gave me some food.

And you said, Oh, I will give you some food.

I will give you some nourishment.

I get something in return.

What's it worth?

What's it worth? Yes.

And I've been paying the price ever since.

Very good for you.

That was a good one.

That's a good comeback.

Well done.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm bored.

Okay, then. Let's go.

Shall foodstuff.

He's joking for comic effect.

Comic effect.

We love having you here because you are like

you are all like mental therapy for us.

I think I would have had a breakdown today

if I come on this line. I wasn't sure.

I wasn't sure what you were going to say then.

Well, I think with two people that watch.

Yes.

And they are also therapy for us.

Yes.

It's nice to know that there are other

weird and crazy people in the world

and there aren't many people who are brave enough

to put themselves forward and say, look,

we are a little bit strange, but we love what we do

and we love doing it for you.

So I am glad that you have been able to join us today.

Been lovely.

It been lovely.

It's my therapy too, says Florence. Yes, exactly.

Because it's almost there. It's like this.

It's like a community. As I've said before.

Yes, Mr.

Duncan has created a community

here of like minded people,

or completely mad.

Okay, I'm joking.

Some of you are very,

very saying

let's not tar everyone with the same brush,

talking to the sane.

That's where we'll be hopefully going on.

We get to Paris.

Sorry, there's a play on words,

Mr. Duncan.

Are we going to be

when we get to Paris,

are we going to be are we going to go insane?

I hope not, because I'm saying

I hope not because I can't swim.

You see, we go there's another joke.

I like that Vitesse.

Hilarious.

So I repeat it.

No, it's.

It's the fly. The fly, the fly.

I think we're dead

because we've been standing still a long time.

It's that stinky stuff that you're wearing.

They still smell it.

I think you're. They think you're a corpse.

We're going in

a moment

because we go with the main river that goes to

Paris is called the sane. Yes.

And if you are insane, it means you've gone

mad explaining the joke.

Yes. You don't need to that.

I think I do. You don't?

I like to never tell a joke and then explain it.

Well, the words we're not on stage.

Know what we are.

They we're on the YouTube stage.

It just where on the YouTube stage might be.

It might not be easy for people

whose grasp of English isn't native like ourselves

to always understand our jokes,

which is why I feel the need to sometimes.

Maybe just don't tell them.

Just don't tell the joke.

I know, but I've got to amuse myself somehow.

If I'm going to be standing here for over an hour.

Put it this way

You're the only one who's being

amused by anything you say.

I've just seen the butterfly,

the cabbage, white,

as we call it, the butterflies.

They've got white wings

and they lay their eggs in cabbages.

Probably other plants as well, but

I think predominantly cabbages, which is why

they're called cabbage white butterflies,

the farms that light.

And of course, because it destroys the crops.

Thank you.

Okay, so when you haven't going slightly, do

I need to call a doctor or maybe a priest?

Oh, you're not falling asleep on my feet, Mr.

Duncan.

The price we pay for this, you know, it's great.

We're going now.

Where are the things flying around me again?

Florence says I'm right to explain the jokes.

I explain the beaver joke.

No. Okay, Please don't.

Just. Just.

If you go to Urban, Dictionary.com

and Beaver, it will explain everything.

Urban Dictionary, dot com, Is it in there?

It's definitely in there

because they have Urban Dictionary is a great website

where all of the colloquialisms and slang

terms are on there, including the really rude ones.

So urban dictionary dot

com put beaver into the search.

It was a funny line I'm one of the I'm one of the

not aeroplane films.

Which one was it. The one with.

I don't no you're telling me when Elvis

Presley's wife was a ninja climbing up a ladder.

I remember that.

And, and what's his name.

And it's Albert repeated what a fascinating story

about what is.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I think so.

The film Yes.

With the

Priscilla Presley was in it

and the guy from Aeroplane, the funny comedian

that was also in Forbidden Planet when he was younger,

you know his name.

Oh, Leslie Nielsen Nielsen. Yes.

And it was. Yes, it was police squad.

Police squad, Yes.

And Priscilla

Presley was climbing up a ladder into the loft

and he thinks she's going to she's on a bookcase.

She's yes. Anyway, she's going up a ladder.

And he goes he looks up and says,

Nice beaver.

And she comes

out and says, Yes, I've recently had it stuffed. Yes.

And she actually comes down holding a stuffed beaver.

Yeah. See the joke? That's it.

So that joke is actually very subtle because it's

funny twice.

Yeah. They are able to actually make that joke.

And that's that's clever writing.

It's very hard to make a joke funny twice.

You can.

You can make a joke and make it funny once,

but making a joke funny twice is brilliant.

I think it's a that's a good

that's a good yes, a good example.

I Steve, you go.

You're amazing.

Remember, that is what made me laugh.

You didn't really remember it.

Well, I couldn't remember the names of the people.

You couldn't remember any of the details.

Beatrice, it says, Have a wonderful afternoon.

I didn't know you were on Beatrice.

Hello. Beatrice didn't know you were here.

I think Beatrice came late

again.

Nice. Funny joke from Vitesse.

The numbers keep going up and we're going.

But never mind.

I don't think the numbers are going up.

They've gone up seven.

Yes, that's. That's.

I suppose for us that's up.

We'll have to do more of these sort of impromptu,

off the cuff,

unexpected

surprise livestreams,

even if it's just for our amusement,

even if it's just,

I think it's actually helped us today

because let's face it,

we didn't have a good start to the day, did we know?

You didn't know so well, I tell you what

Steve shouted down to the window.

I wouldn't if all of you

don't.

I shouted out the window.

You said, Shut that fucking dog up.

Yeah, It was so annoying.

I mean, you know, I'm going to snap at some point.

Steve shouted that out of the window,

shouted it out to the neighbours.

I have heard,

he shouted at the donkey and Shut that fucking dog up.

I used another word beginning with that.

But he didn't use that word. He used another.

I lose my temper.

I do that.

You see that?

You've got it. You've got a worn people in Paris.

Yeah. See, I seem like a fairly mild mannered.

Yeah, but when people push me and I cross the line,

it's like

a nuclear explosion.

I just go straight for the nuclear button.

There is no on and off with me when it comes to anger

and misunderstanding.

I go from 0 to 11.

Okay. Like that.

At the moment, Mr.

Steve is still in meltdown.

I'm just coming down now.

You're melting down. That's not good, by the way.

If you're melting,

if you melting down,

that just means your core is still hot.

It's it's

now making its way to the centre of the earth.

Anyway, if he comes

knocking at the door, I'm going to say it was you, Mr.

Duncan.

I don't have a girlie voice

like yours.

It was definitely your voice.

What are we doing now?

Will know it was your voice.

I should show that Coca Cola.

I was very aggressive. That was how you sounded?

You went straight.

Should that go, girl?

I was very aggressive and give you shout.

Very company. I don't.

I didn't realise that people could shout and be camp.

Shut that fucking joke up.

All right.

Anyway, what are we going to do now?

We were walking into town.

It's too late now, isn't it?

Well, going now. We're going to town.

Thanks for watching. We're going into town now.

So where shall we go?

Put your glasses on. Right, That's it.

We're going now.

Lovely to see you.

And he will hear. You can hear us.

Thanks for watching.

We'll be back on Sunday and Sunday, 2 p.m.

UK time.

Have a lovely few days

Between now and then is when we're back and

we look forward to seeing you, of course.

And do we say anything before we go?

Yeah.

Bugger off.

I forgot to turn it off.

I forgot to go to turn it off.

You didn't see us then

holding hands for. Coffee.

If I turn it off, Mr. Duncan.

Okay. We're going to to

see one Sunday.