How to stop REPEATING yourself, ORGANIZE your thoughts, and speak TO THE POINT

Do you find it hard to stay concise and organized when speaking?

Do you feel like your thoughts are all over the place?

Do you feel like you keep repeating yourself when speaking?

I'm asking this because recently I've been getting a lot of questions

from my students telling me that it's hard for them to speak clearly.

And it's not about the language as it is about how they organize their

thoughts and get to the main point.

And then I asked this question on Instagram as well:

"Hey everyone.

So, recently I've I've gotten a lot of questions from students saying

that it's hard for them to stay concise and say what they want."

And by the way, if you're not following me there, then you should definitely

follow me at @hadar.accentsway.

And I shared this experience of my students, and so many

people felt the same way.

They felt like it's hard for them to stay on track, that they

lose their focus when speaking.

And they asked for help, and they even said that it's hard

for them in their first language.

So this is why I decided to record this episode and share with you some tips

and strategies on how to stay concise, focused, and on point when communicating.

But first, I want to tell you that no one is born a great communicator.

No one is born and is ready to give a TED talk, right?

The speakers that you admire and that you see out there are very well

rehearsed and they have a lot of experience speaking about the things

that they're passionate about, or the things that they're not passionate about.

They just have a lot of experience speaking to other

people or maybe teaching.

And when you listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos like this YouTube

video, remember that it is edited.

A lot of times we, content creators, we talk a lot and then we edit it down.

And to you it sounds very concise and fluent and on point.

Where in fact, when we record it, it could be all over the

place and quite repetitive.

So, also remember that when you're comparing yourself to

creators online, sometimes you're not seeing the full picture.

However, speaking can be a challenge, especially when you're

communicating in a second language.

You can't expect a human being to always be a great communicator.

So cut yourself some slack, and also listen to the tips that I have to share

with you and see what you can do to practice and improve your speaking skills.

So the first thing, as always, is mindset.

I want you to ask yourself, Are there thoughts that are limiting your

ability to communicate in a better way?

Thoughts like, "I am never concise", or "I lose track really quickly when I

speak", or "No one understands what I'm saying", or "I'm a terrible communicator".

So, thoughts like that, to you, they seem like you're just observing reality.

At the end of the day, they're preventing you from actually

stepping up and improving.

Because if you have a belief that you are a terrible communicator or that you

are never clear, so your brain is always going to follow up with this belief.

You know, if you say to yourself, "I'm always scattered" or "I'm always

repetitive", you're going to end up being scattered and repetitive.

So first of all, I invite you to start observing the thoughts that you have

about yourself as a communicator or as a speaker of English as a second language,

and see if there is something there that is already setting you up for failure.

Now, as far as practical tips, here's what I recommend for

you to do before you speak.

When you get asked the question or when you have the idea of speaking, take a

breath, and first, organize your thoughts.

What do I mean by that?

Don't immediately start responding with a first thing that comes to mind.

Think about your overall answer, and it should take only 2-3 seconds.

And the more you do it, the better you get at it.

But think about the beginning - what you want to say: maybe your main

argument or the point, the main point of what you're trying to say.

And then maybe a way to conclude or to support your main point.

So, it's almost like you're writing invisible bullet points in your

brain before you start speaking.

So it's just about organizing all the thoughts that you have

about what you're about to say.

Now, at the end of the video, I'm going to share with you some tips on how to

practice it on your own, but for now, just remember this: before you start speaking,

take a breath, organize your thoughts, the order of what you want to say – beginning,

middle, end, and then start speaking.

Now, you don't have to have the whole script in your head, just ideas, just

bullet points, and that would give you confidence to stay on track, right,

from the beginning until the end.

Another piece of advice is that after you organize your thoughts, when you

start speaking, try to get to the main point – that one thing that you want them

to know or to think – really quickly.

Okay?

Don't tell stories before that, don't try to give examples

before, you can do that after.

But the most important thing is to get to the main point.

Now, I want you to know that being elaborate or telling

stories is a great thing, and you don't always have to be concise.

Okay?

So, it's really important to remember that you should use these tips if you

really struggle with staying on point and you feel like you're always getting

sidetracked or going off on a tangent.

'To go off on a tangent' is to start talking about something

that is only remotely or slightly connected to your main idea.

Okay?

So if you get to the main point really quickly, you're less likely

to go off on a tangent earlier on.

Another thing that could help you with being more concise and on point when

speaking is to use shorter sentences.

A lot of times, especially for speakers of English as a second language, what happens

is that you're already thinking about the next thing and the next sentence.

And when you speak, it ends up sounding like you are saying one long sentence.

And then it becomes a little harder to follow what it is that you're saying.

Try to use shorter sentences and to be clear when it is that

you're ending the sentence.

And you can take small breaks between sentences.

That would also help you stay on track, be more concise and not use

those long long long sentences, where you get confused about where you are

in the sentence when you do that.

Another thing that is relevant, especially for speakers of English as a second

language, is the need to overexplain, the fear that you're not clear enough.

And then what happens is that you say something and then you're

like, "Oh, I'm not sure if I made sense or if I'm clear enough."

And then you say it again in a different way, and you explain it

again and over and over again, or you elaborate to get to the point.

Sometimes it's necessary, but sometimes it's not.

So, if you feel like you're any way tending to over explain yourself, try

to just say what you want to say in the least amount of words as possible.

And trust that if it's not clear, the other person is going to ask you what

you mean or ask you to repeat yourself.

You can also say something in a concise way and then just ask the other

person, "Do you know what I mean?"

to be certain that your message was delivered, instead of saying

it again and again and again.

So, if you catch yourself doing that, just simply quickly end the

sentence and move on to the next idea.

And don't try to overdo it or overexplain.

And another thing, remember that it's a skill and it's something

that you need to practice.

And not just on your own but also while speaking to other people.

So if you feel that you are going off on a tangent or that you are getting

sidetracked with a story that is not related and you feel lost in what

you're trying to say, don't be afraid to say, "You know what, let me go

back to what I was saying earlier."

Or, "You know what, I don't think that's related.

What I'm trying to say is..."

And then go back to the main objective – what you want them to

think or what you want them to know.

Don't be shy, there's nothing wrong with you.

No one's expecting you to be the perfect communicator that we see in the movies.

And also, you're not a robot.

Which brings me to the next point: you don't always have to shine, you

don't always have to be concise.

So while it's a good thing to have, it's not about being concise,

it's about being confident in what it is that you're saying.

And sometimes storytelling and repetition is really, really important.

So, just make sure that you're not prioritizing concise speech

with confidence and with clarity.

Okay?

Cause you could be confident and clear, even when you're repeating

yourself and even when you're adding a lot of extra information.

It really depends on the situation and who you're speaking to.

All right, that's it.

Now, let me give you two exercises that you can do to improve your speaking skills

and speaking more concisely and on point.

So first, record yourself answering questions that you're

not used to talking about.

You can go online or to ChatGPT and just request for 'conversation

topics' or 'debate questions'.

And choose one, organize your thoughts – you don't even have

to write it down because you want to practice thinking about it

quickly – and practice answering it.

And record yourself - limit it to two minutes or to three minutes and see

if you can answer a question every single day about different topics,

things that might even be hard for you to talk about in your first language.

It teaches you how to stay concise and on point, especially if you

set for yourself a time limit.

So that is the first thing.

The second thing is just speak a lot more.

The more you speak, the more you communicate, the

more confident you become.

And the more confident you become in your voice, and the more confident

you are about delivering your message.

And if you have a lot of opportunities to speak with people, you can take the

things that I've shared with you in the video and put it into practice,

especially if it's in a safe space.

If you are a non native speaker of English and you don't have a lot of

opportunities to speak with other people, I wholeheartedly invite you

to join our free community on Facebook called the InFluency Community,

where we share videos every week.

And also there are a lot of conversation groups, and it's free.

And you can find incredible people to practice speaking on point.

All right.

What other tips do you have for speaking in a concise way

and getting to your main point?

Let me know in the comments below, and also share with me your

experience about the things that we have discussed in this video.

If you enjoyed this video, consider subscribing to my channel or

my podcast, if you're listening to this as a podcast episode.

And if you want to learn more with me, come on over to hadarshemesh.com,

my website where you can find hundreds of different lessons.

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Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day.

And I will see you next week in the next video.

Bye, everyone.