English Vocabulary in 1 hour: advanced vocabulary lesson

Is everyone laughing and you're wondering  what in the world is so funny? Has this  

ever happened to you in English? Oh, it can  be so frustrating. Well, never fear. Today,  

I'm going to help you learn English through  jokes and have a great time. Hi, I'm Vanessa  

from Speakenglishwithvanessa.com and like always,  I have created a free PDF worksheet for you with  

all of the English that you are about to learn  over the next hour English that will help you  

understand jokes, tell jokes, have a good time,  and finally understand what's so funny. You can  

click on the link in the description to download  that free PDF worksheet today. Over the next hour,  

you are going to learn some of the silliest jokes  in English. These are jokes that you'll be able to  

tell and you'll be able to understand, and within  each of these jokes is some important vocabulary  

that I want you to be able to understand and use  yourself in daily conversation. So are you ready  

to get started and have a great time understanding  English jokes and vocabulary? Let's do it.

A lot of jokes in English are puns or plays on  words. This means that there are two words that  

sound similar and we make a joke about those  words that sound similar. This takes a really  

advanced level of English vocabulary and sometimes  even culture. Sometimes these plays on words are  

called dad jokes. That's because they are very  silly and stereotypically, dads use these kinds  

of jokes and their children go, "Ha, ha ha, dad,  you're so funny." It's a little funny. Maybe it's  

more just silly. So today I have asked my husband,  Dan, to read these jokes. We'll first listen to  

him say these jokes and then I will explain them  to you. I hope that they will become clearer and  

your vocabulary will grow step-by-step.  Let's get started with the first one.

Did you know the first french  fries weren't actually cooked  

in France? They were cooked in  Greece. Did you know the first  

french fries weren't actually cooked  in France? They were cooked in Greece.

Why is this a joke? There are  two countries, France and Greece,  

but the joke here is about the word Greece. In  English, Greece is two things. It could be a  

country, the country of Greece, or it can be  oil. We say that french fries, potato chips,  

these types of foods are greasy or oily. So in  this joke, we are expecting that the listener  

understands both of those meanings of the word  Greece. We cook french fries in oil or in grease,  

not the country, but the type of oil.  Do you get the idea about these jokes,  

these puns or plays on words? They really expect  you to be able to have an advanced level of  

knowing different vocabularies and different ideas  that sound the same. We're going to listen to Dan,  

my husband, say that joke again, and I hope that  this time you'll understand it. Let's watch.

Did you know the first french fries weren't  

actually cooked in France?  They were cooked in Greece.

Did you get it? All right,  let's go to joke number two.

Hey, I'm reading a book about  antigravity. It's impossible to  

put down. Hey, I'm reading a book about  antigravity. It's impossible to put down.

Why is this a joke? The joke is about the phrasal  verb to put down. We can use this figuratively or  

literally. Literally to put something down means  that you are setting it on a surface, maybe to put  

something on a table, to put the book down on the  table. But what is this book about? Antigravity.  

So it's a little bit of a joke here about the  subject of the book, but there is a second  

meaning for to put down a book. When we say, "I  loved that book so much, I couldn't put it down,"  

it means that I couldn't stop reading it. So this  is a common phrasal verb that we use for reading.  

"I love this book. I couldn't put it down."  That means I didn't want to stop. But here the  

clever joke is that the book is about antigravity,  which means it's impossible to set something on a  

surface with no gravity. So the joke is about the  figurative or literal use of this phrasal verb,  

to put down. Let's watch Dan say this joke one  more time and I hope you'll enjoy it. Let's watch.

Hey, I'm reading a book about  antigravity. It's impossible to put down.

Did you get it? I hope so.  Let's go on to our third joke.

Why did the man fall down the well?  Because he couldn't see that well.  

Why did the man fall down the well?  Because he couldn't see that well.

Do you know what a well is? That is essential  for understanding this joke. A well is a deep  

hole where you can get water from.  So our ancestors most likely had a  

well on their farm or somewhere in their  village and they would take a bucket and  

lower it into the well and get some water.  So at the beginning of this joke it says,  

why did the man fall down the well? This is  the literal kind of well where you get water.  

He fell down the well, and the answer  is because he couldn't see that well.

Well, the joke here is about the part  of this phrase to see that, well,  

we can use this literally to mean he couldn't  visually. Maybe he's blind. Maybe there was  

some leaves covering the hole and he fell down  into it. He couldn't see that well. He couldn't  

see the well that was there. But we can use this  figuratively as well. If you say, I can't see that  

well. It means my vision is poor. I have poor  vision. I can't see that well. I need to wear  

glasses. I can't see that. Well, this is the joke  here. Talking about a well where you can get water  

and well to mean good. I can't see that good or  I can't see that well or I can't see that well,  

the hole in the ground. All right, let's  listen to Dan say this joke one more time.

Why did the man fall down the well?  Because he couldn't see that well.

Did you get it? I hope so.  Let's go on to our fourth joke.

Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything  

on the web. Why are spiders so smart?  They can find everything on the web.

What's so funny about this joke? Well, what  is a spider's home? It is a spider's web. But  

there are two meanings of web. The first one  is a spider's home. It's a spider web. So the  

spider is on its web. It knows all of the flies  and all of the things that are on its web. But  

the second meaning of web is what makes this joke  funny. Do you know what WWW stands for? World Wide  

Web. This is another way to say the internet. On  the web is kind of a casual or slang way to say  

on the internet. If someone asks, "How did you  learn English?" You might say, "On the web with  

Vanessa." That means online with Vanessa. So it's  using this dual meaning of web. A spider knows  

everything about its home, about its web, but it  also learned a lot of information on the internet,  

on the web. Let's listen to Dan say this one  more time and then we'll go to the next joke.

Why are spiders so smart? They  can find everything on the web.

Did you get it? Let's go to the next  one about a scarecrow. Let's listen.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?  He was out standing in his field.  

Why did the scarecrow win an award?  He was out standing in his field.

In case you didn't know, it's essential for  this joke. This is a scarecrow. It's usually  

in the middle of a farmer's field to scare  away birds or some other kind of thing that's  

going to hurt the crops. Well, the joke here  is not necessarily about the word scarecrow,  

but it's about what the scarecrow does. Where  is the scarecrow? It is standing in the field,  

but sometimes we use an extra word to  say, "Oh, I am out in my car. I'm out  

standing in that field. I'm out somewhere,"  to say I'm not at home. I am away somewhere.  

And that's what this joke says. He was  out standing in the field. That's what  

the scarecrow was doing. But the joke here is  about another meaning for the word outstanding.

In the joke, you see it as two words. He was  out, out of the house, he was out standing  

in the field. But if we put that together,  he was outstanding. This means amazing. He  

was outstanding. You are an outstanding student.  He was outstanding in the field or in his field.  

Field also has a double meaning. It could  be a place where you grow wheat or you grow  

corn, a field or it can be your career, the  medical field, the educational field. This is  

the general term for where you work. So if you are  outstanding in the medical field, that means you  

are an amazing researcher or an amazing doctor.  You are amazing in your field and that's what the  

scarecrow is. He is outstanding in the field. Very  silly. All right, let's watch Dan say this again.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?  He was out standing in his field.

Did you get it? I hope so.  Let's go to our next joke.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand  up by itself? It was two-tired.  

Why couldn't the bicycle stand  up by itself? It was two-tired.

Do you know this double meaning, two-tired?  You might know that in English there are three  

different ways to spell two, to, too, and two.  They all have different meanings and they're  

used grammatically different in sentences.  That's what's happening here. We're making  

a play on words on this expression, two-tired.  How many wheels or tires does a bike have? Two.  

So that's one meaning. The bike has two tires,  but is there another meaning for the word tired?  

Yep. It means that you have no energy. You are  maybe sleepy or exhausted. Oh, I am too tired  

to do any more work. And that's what's happening  here. The bike can't stand up because it only has  

two tires or two wheels. And also because it's so  exhausted, it's so sleepy, it's too tired. Very  

silly. This is a pun or a play on words. All  right, let's watch Dan say it one more time.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand  up by itself? It was two-tired.

Did you get it? I hope so. Let's  go on to joke number seven.

My friend's bakery burned down last  night. Now his business is toast. My  

friend's bakery burned down last  night. Now his business is toast.

There's one important thing at the beginning  of this joke. What burned down? It wasn't a  

fire department, it wasn't a house, it wasn't  an office, it was a bakery. A bakery sells  

what? Bread and pastries and these types of  things. And after the bakery burned down,  

her business is toast. Do you know what toast  is? This is the key to this joke because there  

are two meanings for the word toast. The  first one is warm, crispy bread. You could  

cut a slice of bread and put it in the toaster  and the bread will have some brown marks on  

it and it will be warm and toasty. You can put  some butter on it. It's great. This is toast.

But there is a more figurative meaning for  toast as well. That second meaning means  

ruined. For example, you might say, "When  my mom finds out that I broke that window,  

I'm toast." That means my life is ruined.  I will be in so much trouble when my mom  

finds out that I broke that window. I'm  toast. This is the same for the business  

because the business burned down,  she can't have a business anymore,  

so her business is toast. But it's also funny  because she sells bread and this is the crispy,  

warm toasted bread. Little silly, huh? All right,  let's listen to Dan say this one more time.

My friend's bakery burned down last  night. Now his business is toast.

Did you get it? The business is  toast. Let's go on to our eighth joke.

What does a nosy pepper do? It  gets jalapeno business. What  

does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeno business.

All right, this joke is starting to get a  little more advanced. You need to know two  

things or rather three things to understand  this joke. The first is the word nosy. If I  

say, "My neighbor is so nosy," would you  know what that means? It means that she's  

always looking out her windows and seeing,  oh, Vanessa drove away in her car. I wonder  

where she's going. She didn't go with  her children. Where is she going? This  

means that they are too curious. This is  very annoying. When someone asks too many  

questions and it kind of gets on your nerves.  They're too nosy. So that's the first part.

And we have a nosy pepper. This is a type of food,  usually spicy, sometimes not like a bell pepper,  

but this is a type of food, the nosy pepper.  But our key to this joke is the ending. A  

jalapeno is a really spicy pepper. This  pepper is really common in the US and we  

use it in salsas in different types of  Mexican dishes. A jalapeno. So we say,  

it gets jalapeno business. Why are we  saying it gets spicy pepper business? Well,  

you need to have a deep knowledge  of casual slang in English.

This also, the word jalapeno, also sounds  like all up in your business. It gets all up  

in your business. This phrase to get all up in  your business means to be nosy. My neighbor is  

always getting all up in my business. It doesn't  mean my work, my business, it just means my life.  

She's too nosy, she's asking too many questions.  She's always getting all up in my business and I  

just want some space. I want some privacy. Stop  getting all up in my business. This is a very  

casual expression. So we sometimes say this with  attitude, especially when we're telling someone,  

"Step back. Don't get all up in my business."  You might say this with a little attitude and  

that's kind of what's happening in this joke  when it says it gets all up in your business,  

jalapeno business, all up in your business,  jalapeno business. These jokes can be quite deep.  

And without this knowledge of casual expressions  of hot peppers, you might not understand why it's  

funny. So that's why I'm here to help you. All  right, let's listen to Dan say this one more time.

What does a nosy pepper do?  It gets jalapeno business.

Did you get it? Let's go to joke  number nine about stairs. Let's listen.

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to  

something. I don't trust stairs.  They're always up to something.

Do you know what stairs are? It's what you use  to go up to the second floor or the third floor  

of a building. You need to go up the stairs. And  the joke here is about the expression to go up to  

something or to be up to something. When you are  walking up the stairs, you are going up to the  

second floor, you are going up to the third  floor. Of course when you go up the stairs,  

there is something up there. It's not stairs  leading to nowhere just to empty space. No,  

there is another level of the building  or another level of your house up there.  

Of course there's something up there. So  to go up to something means to move up.

But the second figurative meaning of this is  what makes this joke funny. The expression  

to be up to something means that you are doing  something sneaky. To be up to something. So if  

you are a parent and you see your two children  whispering and they're looking in the kitchen,  

you think, what are they up to? They are up  to something. That means they have a clever  

plan. They are trying to be sneaky and then you  see them trying to go into the cupboard and eat  

some cookies. Okay? This was their plan to try to  secretly eat some more cookies. They were trying  

to be sneaky and we use that expression,  up to something. They're up to something.

Sometimes we say they are up to no  good because usually when you are  

up to something it means that  something that you're doing is  

bad or risky or not allowed, forbidden. So you  are up to something. And that's what's happening  

here. It's a clever joke about stairs. Of course  they lead somewhere, they go up to the second  

floor. But I don't trust stairs because they have  a sneaky plan. They're planning something. I don't  

trust them. They're up to something. All right,  let's listen to Dan say this joke one more time.

I don't trust stairs. They're  always up to something.

Did you get it? All right, let's  go to our 10th joke about a train.

What do you call a train carrying bubble  gum? A chew-chew train. What do you call  

a train carrying bubble gum? A chew-chew train.

Compared to our previous joke, this joke is a  little bit more simple. A chew-chew train. Do  

you know what you do when you put bubble gum  in your mouth? You chew the gum. That's the  

action. I am chewing the gum. But we also have  a sound or a word for the sound a train makes.  

When a train is going ch, ch, ch, ch, ch,  ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, choo-choo. This  

is the sound of the whistle of a train,  choo-choo, which is also the same as to chew  

something. So here is the joke, the  difference between chewing bubble gum  

and the sound a train makes, choo-choo. Great,  I hope you got it. Let's listen to Dan say it.

What do you call a train carrying  bubble gum? A chew-chew train.

Did you get it? I hope so. Let's  go to our 11th joke about ducks.

What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.  What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.

Do you know what sound ducks make? Quack-quack,  quack-quack. If you're interested in sounds  

that other animals make, I made this video about  common sounds in English, animal sounds, sounds  

that items make sounds that people make when we're  frustrated. These types of sounds very important  

for English conversations in daily life, but a  sound that a duck makes is quack, quack-quack.

So here is our first meaning, quack.  But do you know this full expression,  

quack of dawn sounds like the full expression,  crack of dawn. Crack of dawn is an expression  

that means first thing in the morning when  the sun comes up, boom, that is the crack of  

dawn. Usually it is extremely early in the  morning. And when we use that expression,  

we're trying to imply that, oh, I had to wake  up so early. I had to wake up at the crack of  

dawn to get to the airport to catch my flight.  The crack of dawn. Boom. The moment that there's  

a little bit of light is the crack of dawn.  So that's what this joke is talking about,  

but they substitute crack and quack because that's  what ducks say. The quack of dawn. Ha, ha, ha.

All right, let's listen to  Dan say this one more time.

What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.

Did you get it? I hope so.  Let's go to our next joke.

I used to hate facial hair,  

but then it grew on me. I used to hate  facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Do you know what facial hair is? That  is like a beard or a mustache? Facial  

hair. And some people don't like it, some people  like it. It's just personal preference or maybe  

cultural preference sometimes. But what is the  joke here? The joke is about the phrasal verb,  

to grow on. Where does your hair  grow? Well, it grows on your head,  

it grows on you. It is actually growing on you.  But there's a figurative meaning for to grow on  

as well. If you say, "Yeah, I used to not like  Vanessa's classes," I hope that's not true,  

"I used to not like Vanessa's classes, but the  more I watched them, they grew on me." They,  

my classes, my lessons grew on you. That  means that over time you learned to like them,  

you became more and more comfortable  and it became something that you liked.

Same for hair. I used to hate  facial hair, beards, mustaches,  

but then they grew on me. Okay, we're talking  about literally facial hair grows on you,  

but also that figurative idea that over  time I learned to like it. It grew on me.

Let's listen to Dan say this one more time.

I used to hate facial hair,  but then it grew on me.

Did you get it? I hope so. These last three  jokes are more advanced than the others because  

you need to know some things very specific  about American culture. But don't worry,  

I'm here to help you. Let's get started  with the next one and listen to Dan say it.

Hey Vanessa.

What?

Did Tennessee?

What?

The same thing that Arkansas. Hey Vanessa.

What?

Did Tennessee?

What?

The same thing that Arkansas.

These are both states. Tennessee and Arkansas  are states. Don't be fooled by the spelling  

of Arkansas. There is an S at the end, but  we pronounce it Arkansas. Arkansas. Listen  

carefully to the end of these states. Tennessee,  Arkansas. Do you know this verb to see with your  

eyes? You see something? But what is that in  the past tense. If I said, "Today I see the  

beautiful weather. Yesterday, I... The beautiful  weather. Yesterday I saw the beautiful weather."  

This is in a regular verb. In the present  it is to see. And in the past it is saw.  

So here we have a joke about both of these.  Let me give you a sample sentence and I  

want to see if you can understand it a  little bit better. "What did you see?"  

"I don't know what I saw." "What did  you see?" "I don't know what I saw."

So let's pretend that Tenne and Arkan  are people and we can substitute I,  

"What did you see?" "I don't know what I saw."  Let's substitute you and I for these people. What  

did Tenne see? The same thing as Arkan saw. Very  silly. But in order to understand this joke, you  

need to know what these states are. You need to  know the verb tenses of the verb saw. So there is  

a deep level of understanding that needs to happen  in order to laugh at this joke. And if you heard  

someone say this in, for example, you're watching  the Big Bang Theory and you hear someone say a  

joke like this and everyone is laughing, I hope  that now you'll feel a little more comfortable.

All right, let's listen to Dan  say this joke one more time.

Hey Vanessa.

What?

What did Tennessee?

What?

The same thing that Arkansas.

Did you get it? I hope so. Let's  go on to our 14th advanced joke.

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?  

One's really heavy and the other one's  a little lighter. What's the difference  

between a hippo and a zippo? One's really  heavy and the other one's a little lighter.

To understand this joke, you need to know  that a common brand of lighter is zippo.  

This is the brand of the lighter. Well, we know  that hippos are heavy animals and zippos are a  

type of lighter. There are two meanings of the  word lighter. The opposite of heavy is light,  

heavy and light, or it is an item a lighter.  So here is where the cleverness of the joke  

is. There is two meanings, something that's not  heavy and something that gives fire, is a lighter.

Let's listen to Dan say this one more  time and we'll go on to our final joke.

What's the difference between a  hippo and a zippo? One's really  

heavy and the other one's a little lighter.

Did you get it? I hope so. All right,  

I want you to take a deep breath before  we go on to our final 15th joke. This is  

deeply rooted in American culture. So take  a breath and let's listen to Dan say it.

One day, a Viking named Rudolph the Red  looked out the window and said, "It's going  

to rain." His wife said, "How do you know?"  He said, "Because Rudolph the Red nose rain,  

dear." One day, a Viking named Rudolph the Red  looked out the window and said, "It's going  

to rain." His wife said, "How do you know?" He  said, "Because Rudolph the Red nose rain, dear."

At Christmastime in the US and  maybe in other countries as well,  

most children watch this classic film  and listen to this Christmas song,  

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. A reindeer is a  kind of animal like a deer that has antlers and  

it lives in cold countries. And Rudolph, the name  of this reindeer is special because he has a red,  

shiny nose and in the song and in this  film, he helps Santa find his way in a  

storm to be able to deliver presents. So  this story is about a special reindeer.

And the silly thing, or the funny thing about  this joke is that it is about a man named Rudolph  

the Red. Rudolph the Red thinks that he is  knowledgeable about the weather. He says,  

I know about rain, I know about rain. But the  way that he says it sounds like the name of  

this character, because he calls his wife a kind,  loving name. Sometimes husbands and wives will  

call each other, dear, honey, sweetie, these kind  of kind names. So he calls his wife, dear. That  

is what he's saying to her instead of her name.  So when we say the full phrase out loud, listen  

to this, Rudolph the Red, that's this guy's name,  Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear. But what does  

this sound like? Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.  "Rudolph the red nose reindeer, had a very shiny  

nose." Most kids know this song. It is a common  Christmas song, and I hope that now you can dig a  

little bit deeper in American culture and also  realize why people might laugh at this joke.

Let's listen to Dan say this one more time.

One day, a Viking named Rudolph the Red looked  out the window and said, "It's going to rain."  

His wife said, "How do you know?" He said,  "Because Rudolph the Red nose rain, dear."

Great work learning those top 15 jokes in English.  I'd like to help you with 10 more wonderful jokes  

in English. Wonderful or just plain silly.  Well, it's up to you to decide. Let's learn.

Why did the melons have a wedding? Because they  

cantaloupe. Why did the melons have  a wedding? Because they cantaloupe.

Why is this a joke? This is an extremely common  joke in English. What is a cantaloupe? Well,  

a cantaloupe is a type of melon like watermelon,  honeydew, cantaloupe. It looks like this,  

but the word cantaloupe sounds like another  word in English. What happens if you can't  

have a wedding or you decide not to have a  big ceremony and you and your lover decide  

to run away maybe to a beautiful destination  and there's only you two plus an official,  

we call them an officiant, who gets you married,  who marries you? What do we call this? We call  

this eloping. You elope. This means it's usually  a surprise. Your family and friends don't know,  

and then you tell them later, "Guess what?  We eloped." So you didn't have a wedding.

What's happening in this joke? We're talking about  a melon, cantaloupe and the verb elope. Well,  

unfortunately, these poor melons can't  elope. So what's the opposite? They have  

to have a wedding. So the melons can't elope. So  silly. All right, let's go to joke number two.

Why was six afraid of seven?  

Because seven ate nine. Why was six  afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

Let's count together. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,  9. Okay, you probably know this, right? 7, 8,  

9. But what does the word eight sound like? It  sounds like the word eat in the past tense. So  

why is six afraid of seven? Well, seven is  a terrible monster. It ate the number nine.  

Seven ate nine. Oh, no. Run away from  seven. Maybe it'll eat me too. Six is  

afraid of seven because seven ate nine. Very  silly. All right, let's go to our third joke.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry. I'm dad.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry. I'm dad.

This joke makes every kid roll their eyes and say,  "Ah, dad." Let's talk about why it's funny. Well,  

you can introduce yourself with the same  sentence construction. "I'm Vanessa,  

nice to meet you." "I'm Dan, nice to meet you."  I'm, plus your name. But is that what's happening  

here in this sentence? I'm hungry. Hungry is not  your name. You're trying to tell your dad that  

you want food, but he's pretending that hungry is  your name. My dad used to say this all the time,  

and I think every time I did that and said, "Ah  dad, no, I want food." You can use this in a lot  

of situations. You might say, "Dad, I'm tired."  "Hi tired." "Dad, I'm thirsty." "Hi thirsty." It's  

so annoying for kids, but also a little bit  silly. All right, let's go to our next joke.

How was your camping trip?

It was intense.

How was your camping trip?

It was intense.

Why is this joke funny? Some people would say  it's not funny, but why is this a joke? Well,  

the word intense means difficult or serious.  Why would your camping trip be intense? Maybe  

it rained the whole time or maybe you had to hike  a long way to get to your campsite. This is very  

difficult. It's kind of a serious camping  trip. But what does that word sound like,  

intense? Where do you sleep when you go camping?  Well, you sleep in a sleeping bag in a tent. So  

let's make it plural. We slept in tents. What's  that sound like? Intense. In tents. Very silly.

Do you see how these jokes are a play on words?  We have one word, intense, difficult, serious,  

that sounds like another word, in a tent or  in tents, and that's why they're silly. So  

it does take another level of understanding  for vocabulary, grammar or pronunciation to  

understand why it's funny or why someone might  say, "Ah, ha, ha ha, ha ha." Maybe they don't  

think it's hilarious, but they understand that  it's supposed to be a joke and now you do too.

All right, these first four were the  most common type of puns in English,  

but let's talk about some others that  will help you to level up your vocabulary.

I pulled a muscle digging for gold,  

but it's just a miner injury. I pulled a muscle  digging for gold, but it's just a miner injury.

Let's talk about this first phrase. I pulled  a muscle. What's that mean? Usually to break  

a bone is very serious and to pull a muscle is  a little less serious. Maybe your muscle feels  

strained or pulled and it's uncomfortable and  maybe you need to stop for the day. You need  

to rest. Maybe put some ice on it. It's not a  very serious injury. Usually you can recover  

relatively quickly. But what is happening in the  rest of this joke? I pulled a muscle digging for  

gold. It was a miner injury. This phrase, a minor  injury, is a common phrase we use for an injury.  

So getting hurt that's not so serious. It's not  a major injury, A major injury, if I can say that  

correctly. A major injury would be maybe breaking  a bone. Okay, that's a little more serious. But a  

minor injury is just your muscles stretched  and after some ice and rest it feels better.

But what does this word minor sound like? What  do you call someone who digs for gold? Or maybe  

they go into a mine and they're digging for coal  or other type of minerals. They are a miner. So  

notice how the spelling is slightly different. But  that's the joke here. The word minor injury, this  

common phrase, and to be a miner, they sound very  similar. All right, let's go to our next joke.

A new Lego store just opened.  People lined up for blocks. A  

new Lego store just opened.  People lined up for blocks.

Do you know what Legos are? This is a Lego  creation that my son made. My son is obsessed  

with Legos. They are these types of blocks. These  are bigger Legos. We actually call these Duplos,  

but it's the same idea and you can make  lots of creations with them. I think he  

made a forklift with a digger bucket and an  eye to watch you, with two sets of wheels.  

Very cool. He always comes up with cool  creations. But Legos are a kind of block.

Well, there is another meaning for the word block.  A block is an American expression used to describe  

a set of streets. We usually use this when we're  giving directions to someone. So you might say,  

go two blocks and turn right. That means  you need to pass two streets and then turn  

right. This is especially common when you  are living somewhere that has kind of an  

organized structure. So for example, New York  City is quite organized. There is 1, 2, 3, 4,  

34, 35th Street. They're quite organized in  a grid. So it's easy to see one city block,  

another city block, another city block. We  can imagine that kind of structure. Most  

cities are not organized that way in the US.  So where I live is not organized that way. But  

I still would use this phrase, a block to give  general directions. We live two blocks away from  

the park. Okay. This gives kind of a general  idea about how far away we live from the park.

So let's take a look at this joke and why  It's funny. People lined up for blocks. So  

the original meaning is that they lined up for  a long distance. It covered many city blocks.  

Maybe they were lined up for one kilometer.  Okay. They lined up for blocks. But also why  

are they lining up? They want Lego blocks. So they  lined up for what reason? For blocks, to get Lego  

blocks. Ha ha ha. So would you like to use both  of these expressions blocks together? You might  

say people lined up for blocks to buy blocks.  So silly. All right, let's go to our next joke.

My friend David had his ID stolen. Now he's just  

Dave. My friend David had his  ID stolen. Now he's just Dave.

Do you know what an ID is? ID stands  for identification. And usually this  

is your driver's license, maybe a passport. It's  something official, usually from the government or  

your school that shows that you are a legitimate  person. Maybe that you're a legitimate student  

or that you can officially drive a car, like a  driver's license. This is your ID. So a lot of  

places will ask for your ID. Maybe if you  need to reserve a place, a concert ticket  

or something like this, they might ask for your  ID. And this shows you are who you say you are.

But what's happening in this joke? When I  say that, my friend David had his ID stolen,  

someone stole his driver's license, not good.  But now his name is Dave. Look at the end of  

his name. What are the two letters at the end of  his name? ID. Ha ha ha. Well, a common shortened  

form of the name David is Dave. So a lot of  people whose names are David, they'll say,  

"Hey, I'm Dave." They go by Dave. It's a shortened  version of their name. For example, my husband  

Dan, his real name is Daniel, but he goes by  Dan. This is the shortened version of his name,  

kind of like a nickname. So unfortunately  my friend David had his ID stolen and now  

he had to change his name. His name's Dave. Ha  ha ha. All right, let's go to our next joke.

If your man doesn't appreciate fruit puns,  

let that man go. If your man doesn't  appreciate fruit puns, let that man go.

What does it mean to let that man go? Usually  this means to break up with someone. So just  

forget about your boyfriend. Let him go. Let  him off into the world and you are better  

off without him. Let that man go. But what does  this look like? Look at the last two words here.  

Does this look like a fruit to you? Mango? This  is a mango and it's a very silly pun. Let that man  

go. This is kind of a common phrase, or mango is  a fruit. So if your boyfriend does not like puns,  

especially puns about fruit, forget about him. Let  that man go. All right, let's go to our next joke.

The wedding was so beautiful,  

even the cake was in tiers. The wedding was  so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

Why is this joke funny? Well, at a wedding,  if it's beautiful, usually people are crying.  

Another way to say that people are crying is  people are in tears. Have you ever cried at a  

wedding? Was it so beautiful, so touching that you  cried? I have. But what about this spelling? That  

doesn't look like a tear. Why is it spelled  like that? And why is the cake crying? Well,  

we need to talk about what is a tiered cake. This  is a tiered cake. At a wedding, it's very common  

to have a cake layered up like this. A layered  cake. This is most common at a wedding. You would  

never see this at a birthday party because it's  very expensive. It's very fancy. Usually this  

type of tiered cake is reserved for weddings.  But another way to say this is the cake is in  

tiers or in tears. The wedding was so beautiful,  even the cake was crying. The cake was in tears.

All right, let's go to our next joke.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole  a calendar? They got six months each. Did  

you hear about the two guys who stole  a calendar? They got six months each.

Got six months. What's that mean? That's not  funny. Why is this supposed to be a joke? Well,  

there's another meaning for the word get, plus  time, to get six months. Well, in this case, these  

guys did something bad. They stole something.  They stole a calendar. Yes, it's a strange thing  

to steal. Whatever. It's a joke. They stole a  calendar. Do you think that they were caught?  

Did the police catch them? Yes, we know that they  were caught because they got six months. This is  

another way to say that they were sentenced to six  months. They had to go to jail for six months. So  

when we use get plus time, it means that that  is the length of time that you went to jail.

So you might say, "I stole a car and I got two  years." Got two years. Like someone gave you  

two years? No, this means that you went to jail  for two years. I got two years. Or we might say,  

"He stole my car and he only got  two years. What? That's not fair.  

He should go to jail for longer." So we  have get plus a time means to go to jail.

But also it's a calendar. How many  months are in a calendar? 12. And  

there's two guys. So if they split it down  the middle, they each can have six months  

and six months. So they're sharing what they  stole. They each get to have six months. So  

there's kind of a play on words here, a  pun about going to jail for six months and  

splitting the thing that they stole, the calendar  and receiving six months. A little bit silly, huh?

Great work. Learning English and having a great  time with those 10 jokes in English. Now it's  

time to move on to a slightly different type of  joke. These jokes are visual based, but they're  

going to still boost your vocabulary and help  you to have a great time in English. Let's go.

Our first English joke, or we can call it an  English meme because it includes a picture,  

is this silly one. What's the difference  between a cat and a comma? One has claws  

at the end of its paws and the other has a  pause at the end of its clause. All right,  

let me break this down. If you did not think  this was funny, that's okay. That's why I'm here.

A cat, the animal has four paws. This is what we  call a cat's hands and feet. Notice the spelling.  

A cat has four paws and each of those paws have  claws. Notice the spelling here. So we're talking  

about a kind of play on words or a tongue  twister. A cat has claws at the end of its paws,  

but a comma, you use a comma when you're pausing,  you take a breath in the sentence or there's a  

slight pause at the end of a clause. Notice the  spelling here. So a clause is a grammatical term,  

but you can really just think of it as a  thought. So when you say chocolate cake,  

which is my favorite kind of cake, is going  to be at my birthday party. We have a comma  

around this clause because there's a little  pause here. Well, we are just making a play on  

words. There are commas around this clause or  there are pauses around the clause. Ha ha ha.

All right, let's go onto our  next English joke or meme.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only  10 I see. All right. This is what we would call  

a very cheesy pickup line. A pickup line is  when someone is trying to get someone else to  

be romantically interested in them. So they'll  say something silly, maybe something clever,  

maybe something loving or romantic to get that  other person to be interested in them. So maybe  

he would say something like this. Are you from  Tennessee, this is a state in the US, because  

you're the only 10 I see. So here we're dealing  with a cultural reference. First of all, the state  

in the US, Tennessee. But also 10 is sometimes  a term we would use for someone who's extremely  

beautiful. He's a 10. She's a 10. That means they  are the height of beauty. They are a 10. So when  

you are trying to get someone to be interested in  you, you want to say a compliment, you want to say  

something very nice and exciting. So you might  say, "You are the only beautiful person I see."

Well, it's not quite as exciting unless you  say, "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're  

the only 10 I see. No one else here is as  beautiful as you. You're the only 10 I see."

Our third joke is quite a literary  one, but I don't know. I'm a nerd,  

so I thought it was funny. When it rains, it  poes well. Do you know who this guy is? This  

guy is a famous English author. His name is  Edgar Allan Poe, and he's famous for writing  

stuff that's pretty dark and gloomy, not  much positivity and joyfulness and sunshine  

in his writings. Nope. It is pretty dark and  gloomy. Well, in order for this to be funny,  

you need to know the original English  expression. When it rains, it pours.

Here we use this when you are trying to  emphasize when something bad happens,  

not just one bad thing happens, it seems like  all the bad stuff happens. So you might say,  

"Well, this morning I was late for work, and  then I realized I had on my pants inside out  

and then I got stuck in traffic and then  someone bumped into my car. When it rains,  

it pours." Not just a little bit of rain, a lot  of rain. Well, we're taking this expression,  

twisting it a bit, making it a little bit of a  nerdy joke. When it rains, it poes. And there's  

a nice picture of Edgar Allan Poe. So you  might see this on the internet. If someone  

is trying to have a little bit of visual fun and  someone is laughing, well, now you can laugh too.

English joke. And number four is one that I  thought you would appreciate as you struggle  

on your journey to learn English.  Well, you might think this is funny.

English is difficult. It can be understood  through tough, thorough thought, though. Okay,  

when you first see this picture, did all of these  words look the same to you, 'cause they did to me.  

I think that's kind of one of the points is that  you look at this and they all seem like they're  

a very similar word, but they're all pronounced  differently. Oh, boy. So English is difficult,  

but what does that last part even mean? English  is a difficult language, but with hard work and  

critical thinking, you can understand English.  So here we're just kind of putting all of these  

tricky TH words together in a sentence that  make sense to emphasize the point that, oh yeah,  

English is really tricky. I want to challenge  you to try to say this with me. You want to  

try a little tongue twister just for fun? Let's  try to say it together. English is difficult.  

It can be understood through tough, thorough  thought, though. Let's say that final part again,  

it can be understood through tough,  thorough thought, though. Great work.

The fifth and final joke today is another English  related joke, but I thought that you might get a  

kick out of it. That's an expression that means  I think it's funny once you understand it. Here's  

the joke. There are three voices in writing.  The active voice, "You ate, all the bacon."  

The passive voice, "All the bacon was eaten by  you." And number three, the passive-aggressive  

voice. "You ate all the bacon and no one else  got one. But don't worry, it's fine. Clearly,  

you needed that bacon." Can you tell by the  tone of my voice and the rolling of my eyes,  

"clearly you needed that bacon," that I'm trying  to say something that I'm not exactly saying?

Am I excited that you ate all the bacon?  Absolutely not. Instead, I am being what  

we call passive-aggressive. So let's start at the  beginning of this little joke meme. The first one,  

an active voice. This is a real voice in  English. The subject is doing the action.  

You ate all the bacon. You're the one who  ate the bacon. The second one, the passive  

voice is what we use when the subject is not  doing the action. Usually it's very indirect.  

All of the bacon was eaten. We don't know who  did it. But here we have a little parentheses,  

by you. But I'm not trying to directly say you  ate all the bacon. That's very active. Instead,  

I'm going to be indirect. All of the bacon was  eaten. Oh, no. What am I going to eat today?

Well, then we get onto the third voice, which is  not a real voice in English, but that's part of  

the joke here, the passive-aggressive voice. I'm  going to say something without really saying it,  

but I'm going to show my anger and my  contempt that you ate all the bacon,  

especially with my tone of voice,  "don't worry, it's fine. Clearly,  

you needed to eat all that bacon." That  tone of voice shows I really care. It  

is not fine. But this is just a funny way  to say there's a third voice in English.

Congratulations on improving your  vocabulary through jokes in English over  

the last hour. Don't forget to download the  free PDF worksheet with all of today's jokes,  

their explanations, and all of the  key vocabulary that will help you to  

understand jokes and also be able to use  this vocabulary in daily life. You can  

click on the link in the description to  download that free PDF worksheet today.

And now I have a question for you. Let me know in  the comments if you have any silly jokes that you  

would like to share with us in English. I can't  wait to read them. And thanks so much for learning  

English with me. I'll see you again next Friday  for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye.

But wait, do you want more? I recommend watching  this video next, Vocabulary in One More Hour,  

where you'll learn why you should never  put something down the drain. Well,  

I'll see you in that video to find out.