How and When to Speak Up with Confidence in English

51,538 views ・ 2021-11-03

Speak Confident English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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How much do you struggle with knowing when and how to
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speak up in a conversation in English,
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especially when no one pauses to ask you what you think? Here's what, I mean,
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a few weeks ago,
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I received an email from someone who recently started to work full time in a
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completely English environment. And for her,
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the problem isn't following the conversation and
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it isn't coming up with valuable things to say,
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she's able to do both of those things very well in English.
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The problem is how and when to speak up,
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when there isn't a clear break in the conversation and when no one asks
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her. Here was her specific frustration, "but how to,
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and when to express my thoughts in a meeting is a challenge.
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If I am specifically being asked during the meeting to share my thoughts,
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I can do it. But often I find that I don't know,
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or I'm not quite sure how to start sharing my thoughts without
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being asked." Just like my student,
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you might be waiting for the perfect moment to jump into a conversation,
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but that perfect moment never comes. So what do you do?
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If you don't already know I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English,
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everything I do here is designed to help you get the confidence you want for
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your life and work in English. Now, with this topic,
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you might be curious about how to interrupt a conversation in
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English, and I've already got a lesson on that.
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So if you're looking for specific phrases to help you interrupt a conversation,
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I'll share a link to that lesson, but here,
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we're going to talk about how you can fully participate in English conversations
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without feeling rude for interrupting,
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without apologizing and without missing opportunities to
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speak. In other words,
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knowing how and when to speak up.
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[Inaudible].
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All right. Here's how this lesson is going to work today.
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We're going to split it into two parts at the beginning.
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We're going to start with three simple ways for you to know how to
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speak up. In other words,
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what signals can you listen for or watch for?
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And what signals can you use to show that you have something to say?
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Then we'll transition into what to say when it's the
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right moment.
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And what I mean by that is that the moment might arise on its
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own, or you might have to create that moment.
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So let's get started with those three tips on how to speak up.
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Tip number one is to listen carefully for opportune moments.
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What this means is rather than focus internally on
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what it is that you want to say and worrying about the right moment,
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staying engaged in the conversation,
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follow it and listen for those little signals or moments that
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allow you the space to speak up.
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Remember others won't always stop and ask what you're thinking.
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Sometimes you just have to jump in. Of course,
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when we talk about opportune moments to jump in,
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ideally there would be a pause in the conversation or a natural
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transition. When I say a pause,
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what I mean is that someone has clearly finished speaking.
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There are several seconds of silence.
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So that's a great time to jump in and speak up.
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Similarly, a natural transition is also a great time to do that.
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That is when the conversation begins to shift to a new topic. For example,
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maybe you're in a business meeting going through items on an agenda.
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And when the conversation starts to shift to a new topic,
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that's a great moment to jump in and say what you want to say before the
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conversation moves forward.
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The problem is sometimes those opportune moments never happen.
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There are too many people in the conversation everyone's trying to contribute,
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so that perfect pause or that perfect natural transition never
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occurs when that's the case. It's time to move on to tip number two,
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use body language,
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whether you're participating in an online video conference or in a
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face-to-face meeting,
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a simple raise of the hand is a great indication that you have something to say.
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Similarly, if the meeting is online,
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you can use a raised hand reaction or even type in the chat that
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you have something that you want to contribute. If the meeting is face-to-face,
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you can also lean forward into the conversation.
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That also is a signal that you're fully engaged and have something to
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contribute. Now,
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if you're worried that body language just isn't going to work,
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let's go on to tip number three, take advantage of the agenda.
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If your team has access to the meeting, agenda in advance,
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take time to review it and identify at which point in the agenda would be
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the best opportunity for you to add your ideas.
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Then to confirm that there's time for you to share your thoughts in the meeting.
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You can mention to your boss that you have something you'd like to share prior
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to the meeting. By giving your boss or a colleague,
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a heads up that you have something to say.
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It's very likely that they will make sure to pass the baton onto you during the
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meeting. Following
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any one of those tips will help you create opportunities for you to
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participate and speak up when you want to. Now,
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before we go on to what to say, when you start to speak up,
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I have one recommendation for you. When you know,
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you have something to contribute, don't wait too long to say it.
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Have you ever noticed that while you're sitting in the meeting and thinking
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about what you want to say, the longer you wait,
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the more anxious you get,
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rather than sit with that anxiety and risk feeling stuck
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or losing your thoughts. When you start to speak,
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don't wait too long in the conversation.
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This doesn't mean that you have to be the very first one to speak up.
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If you're not comfortable with that, you don't need to,
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but perhaps after the first person responds to a question or
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the first person initiates a conversation,
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you could be person number two or three to jump into the conversation.
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Now that we have those tips and my recommendation,
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let's talk about what to say when you have the opportunity.
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For this,
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I have three recommendations to help you think about how to phrase
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your initial sentences when it's time to speak up. Recommendation number
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one is pose a question.
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What I mean by this is rather than immediately stating what you want to say,
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start with a simple question that politely asks for permission to
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jump in or to interject doing this helps to ensure that you've chosen the right
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moment to jump in. And if someone isn't quite finished speaking,
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or if they want you to hold on, just for a moment, they can tell you to do so,
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but they know that you have something to say.
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You've made it clear that you want to jump in.
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So here are a few great ways to do that.
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Could I jump in quickly and share my thoughts here? May I add to that?
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Excuse me, may I share my thoughts on this?
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These questions are particularly useful when you're not really sure about the
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discussion dynamics. For example,
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let's say you've just joined a new team and you're not really sure how everyone
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communicates by posing one of these questions.
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It opens a window of opportunity for you to contribute to the conversation
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without feeling guilty and without apologizing recommendation.
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Number two is to politely assert your thoughts.
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If you're sure that you've chosen the right moment to jump in,
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rather than posing a question, you can simply state your intention.
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For example, I'd like to jump in here or while we're on this topic,
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I'd like to discuss. And finally, if I could,
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I'd like to add my 2 cents.
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Here's how one of these sentence starters might sound in a complete sentence.
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I'd like to jump in to point out that we need to define our deadlines before we
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move on to the next stage. And now recommendation number three,
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piggyback on others to create moments for you to speak up.
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As I've mentioned in a previous lesson on how to think out loud in English,
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piggybacking on other's ideas is a great moment to jump in and share
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your thoughts.
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And it also shows that you have appreciation or respect for what someone
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else has said. When you piggyback on someone else's thoughts.
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What it means is that you listen to what they have to say carefully.
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Then when it's your time to speak up, or when you create that opportunity,
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you acknowledge what they've said and add to it with your own ideas.
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Here are several ways that we do that in English.
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I agree with Anna and I would like to add, thank you for bringing this up.
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I'd like to point out that before we move on,
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I'd like to discuss a related idea. Excuse me.
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I'd love to add to Anna's thoughts. And lastly,
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while I agree with what Anna said, I think,
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and then you continue with your opinion now that you know how
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and when to speak up in English,
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let's do a little bit of practice so that you're a hundred percent ready to
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implement these strategies. The next time you're in a conversation,
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I have two scenarios for you,
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and I want you to use these as practice opportunities,
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listen carefully to these scenarios and consider what you've learned today and
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how you would create an opportunity for you to jump into the conversation and
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speak up in scenario. Number one,
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imagine that you disagree strongly with one of your coworkers on how to
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deal with a client during the meeting,
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your colleague discusses the situation at length,
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and there's not really a moment for you to jump in.
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How might you create that opportunity?
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How could you identify a moment to jump in and create a space
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for you to express your opinion?
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Think about the tips and recommendations you've learned here today.
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How would you put those together and use them in this scenario?
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You can share your practice example with me in the comments below,
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and now let's move on to practice scenario. Number two in this scenario,
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imagine that you've joined a new team and you've been working with them for
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about two months. At this point, you are getting more comfortable with the team,
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but there are some meetings when you still feel a bit hesitant about
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asserting yourself and jumping into the conversation
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based on what you've learned here,
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how would you plan to speak up in the next team meeting when
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you have something that you want to contribute again,
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you can share your examples with me in the comments below.
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If you found today's lesson useful to you as always, I would love to know.
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And the best way that you can tell me is to give this lesson a thumbs up here on
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YouTube and subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.
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So you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
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Thank you so much for joining me. And I look forward to seeing you next time.
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