Soft vs. Assertive Language in English [3 Simple Changes]

Several months ago,

I received this fascinating question from Evandro who asked:

"I received one interesting link, but it seems poorly discussed.

Maybe you could do something related to this article with more explanation and

examples?" The article in question was about 10 words and phrases to

stop using in 2021, including the words might, pretty,

and I think. For example, that might be a good idea.

That's a pretty good option. I think that might work.

The argument in this article is that those words diminish or

weaken your meaning when you communicate. Now,

if you've been following me for awhile,

you know that I've actually recently done lessons on how to use

pretty as an adverb in English and seven effective ways to use the word

might in English. So is this article accurate?

Is it true?

Should you stop using the words might pretty,

and I think? The answer is simple. Yes and no.

If you don't already know, I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English,

everything I do here is designed to help you get the confidence you want for

your life and work in English. When it comes to using words like might, pretty,

and I think,

the truth is there is a time and place for all

language.

There is a time to soften what we want to say.

And there's a time to strengthen what we want to say.

As you become a more advanced English speaker,

understanding these nuances,

understanding the subtle differences of the words you choose to use will help

you become a better, more powerful speaker overall.

Even when you use the words might, pretty, or I think.

It is true that those words can weaken your tone and

overall meaning. So it's important to not overuse that language.

Instead,

you want to be able to make the choice to use those words when it's appropriate

and, when more assertive language is necessary,

I want you to be able to make the choice to be more assertive as well.

That's exactly what you're going to learn to do today.

By the end of this lesson today,

you'll have strategies to help you avoid overusing words that weaken your

meaning and confidently communicate with assertiveness

when necessary.

Let's start by talking about what it means to overuse some words and why

that's something to avoid.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone else and they use the same

word at the beginning of almost every sentence.

I often tell my students that my danger word,

the word I have to be careful with is the word 'so.' If I don't pay

attention to my word choice,

I have the tendency to begin a lot of sentences with the word 'so.' I

have to be careful to not overuse it because it can become

distracting. Or if it's a word like might, pretty,

I think it might undermine what I'm trying to say

by diminishing my meaning,

diminishing my voice.

Let me give you an example in a business meeting conversation.

When there's a decision to be made, you have an option, you have a choice:

You could either say something like, I think this will work,

or this will work.

If you are certain, if you have.

Areas of expertise and you know what the right way forward is,

then be assertive and say,

:this will work." When we use,

'I think' we're softening our tone.

We're weakening it and indicating some uncertainty.

If we lead.

Every sentence with,

I think we're diminishing our voice in

general. And that is something to avoid. The same thing is true.

If we overuse might and pretty. Now,

as I said earlier in the past,

I have done lessons on these very words.

So after you watch today's lesson,

I recommend that you do go back and watch my lesson on using pretty as an adverb

and how to use might English,

because there is a time and place to use those.

There are times when we want to make suggestions or when we want to

indicate uncertainty. And when that is the case,

those are great words to use,

but now let's move on to how to avoid them when it's important,

to be more clear and assertive. Strategy number one,

in any conversation,

always be aware of what language is most appropriate and use words

that weaken your meaning sparingly. Might, pretty,

and I think are great for casual conversation, brainstorming,

making recommendations or indicating uncertainty.

But let's look at how we can transition from weakening our tone or

meaning into saying something with certainty and clarity.

Here are a couple of examples.

If someone has just shared a fantastic solution to a problem,

you could say,

I think Jenna just had a really good idea with those words.

I think you're indicating some level of uncertainty.

Maybe you don't trust your own instincts. But if you do,

if you know that Jenna's idea is the solution.

You can say that by simply stating Jenna had great idea

or Jenna's idea is exactly what we need.

In both sentences, I'm saying almost the same thing,

but one is much clearer and more certain.

Here's another example. If you have a deadline approaching, you could say,

I might be able to get the drafts to you by Friday.

Your boss may not like that response. Your boss wants a deadline.

She wants certainty. So instead you could say,

I will get the drafts done by Friday.

And a final example. I'm pretty certain we sent that to the right address.

Again,

the word pretty is used to weaken the meaning and insert some

uncertainty.

But if you know that you sent it to the right address,

you can simply state that with I'm certain we sent it to the right address.

Again,

it's all about considering the situation you're in and the message you want to

convey.

Those words are appropriate in some circumstances,

and in others, you want to avoid them and be more assertive.

Strategy number two is show assertiveness

with bold or more powerful substitutions,

rather than using those words that soften or weaken your message.

Change them into words that show certainty and

confidence instead of using the adverb, pretty which weakens.

You can use words such as very extremely,

absolutely. For example,

rather than being pretty certain that you sent something to the right address,

you can be absolutely certain rather than being pretty

sure that's a good idea.

You can be absolutely sure this is the right idea or the right

solution. Rather than using the word might.

You could replace that with other substitutes, such as.

Should, can do will, and won't.

I might have that done on Friday. I will have that done on Friday.

I might get that finished for you today.

I can get that finished for you today. And lastly,

rather than using,

I think you could replace those words with more powerful substitutes,

such as I believe, I'm sure that, I'm certain.

For example, I think this is the right way forward.

I believe this is the right way forward.

I'm sure that this is the right way forward. Choosing words,

like believe or to be certain that demonstrate that you're

taking ownership, ownership of that responsibility,

that action or opinion. All right.

So we've talked about the importance of being aware of the situation you're in

and making appropriate choices of which words to use.

We've also talked about using more powerful substitutes to words such as

pretty, might, and I think.

And now strategy number three is simply eliminate those words

from your vocabulary when it's appropriate.

When it's necessary to be concise and to communicate strength and

confidence in your position or opinion,

it's best to simply eliminate those words from your sentences.

If you know that something is highly likely or factual

eliminate pretty, might, and I think.

Let me give you an example, instead of saying,

I think our product is still too new to draw any conclusions

about its performance.

Simply state the fact that our product is too new to

draw any conclusions about its performance. I'm stating the same thing.

But my second example is more concise.

It's stronger.

And I'm stating it with more confidence because I'm stating something that is

factual. Here's another example that might be used in casual conversation.

The kids were pretty tired after playing at the beach all day,

versus the kids were tired after playing at the beach all day.

They weren't pretty tired or kind of tired. They were tired.

They were exhausted. By making that tiny little change,

I'm strengthening my sentence,

making it more powerful and concise. Before we finish today,

I want you to practice this. To help you do that,

I have three sentences for you,

and I'm going to ask you to use what you've learned to turn them into something

that's more assertive and powerful. But before we do,

I want to finish with this.

I want to reiterate that all language has a

purpose. Using words like might,

pretty and I think are great when it's the right context,

but you always have a choice. Your voice matters,

your opinions matter, your expertise matters.

So when you know something to be true,

when you have an opinion that you know needs to be shared,

don't be afraid to be more assertive and powerful in your word choices.

And now let's get to our practice. Examples.

Here are three different phrases and I want you to share more powerful

alternatives. The best place to share with me is in the comments below.

So here they are. Number one,

the movie was pretty interesting and I can't wait to see part two.

Number two, Nora is stuck in traffic and she might run late for the meeting.

And number three,

I think team needs to prioritize tasks that must be finished before the product

launches.

Take some time to review those phrases and share your more powerful alternative

with me below. If you found this lesson useful to you, I would love to know,

and you can let me know in one very simple way,

give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube. And while you're at it,

subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.

So you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.

Thank you so much for being here. And I look forward to seeing you next time.