7 Things NOT to Do When Speaking English

What's up everyone?

I'm Andrea, your RealLife English fluency coach

and today we have a great lesson for you to help you become more confident

when speaking in English.

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So we often teach our students what to do to improve speaking

English but today we're taking an alternative method

and we are going to be telling you the

7 things NOT to do when speaking in English.

So we're going to dive straight into the lesson

to help you to be more confident and to know about the things that you should

not be doing when speaking in English.

So the first of our 7 things not to do is: don't be too ashamed to speak.

Now, this is really important because the way that you're

going to improve is by speaking and I mean speaking a lot, you can only

get better with practice and if you feel too ashamed so

you are embarrassed or you make excuses so that you don't practice speaking in English

you actually won't progress as quickly

as you could do.

Also if you tell yourself that you can't

speak in English your mind will actually start to believe

you so it really will hinder your progress that means that you

won't be able to progress further and you'll start to believe what you are

telling yourself.

So the only way that you will get better

is by practicing and what I recommend you to do is start

by practicing "small wins," now by this I mean doing small things

that are going to help you to improve your speaking

and to build your confidence, for example, if you're traveling or you're going to a

place where you know they speak english you could order your coffee in

English in a touristic place, this way it's something very very small

but you're giving yourself that opportunity

to practice your English and to build your confidence

at the same time.

Another great tip if you don't have anyone to speak to or

to practice speaking English with you can record yourself speaking English

now this is a great way just to build up your confidence of speaking and to

practice and you can listen to yourself back as

well so that you can pick up on any errors that you've made

and then you can work on those as well.

Another way you can do this is by

talking in the mirror it may sound a bit strange or feel a bit

funny at first but it's a great way again just to practice your speaking

so either recording or speaking to yourself in the mirror

giving yourselves those positive affirmations

and really building your confidence could do a world of wonders.

Okay so our second tip is: don't be afraid to make mistakes.

now, in life mistakes are part of learning

you know they're a great way to learn in fact

especially with language learning when I think of my own

language learning the times that i have made mistakes are the times that I

reflect the most and they are the things that I tend to

remember more. So you need to make a lot of mistakes

when you are speaking English because it's a great way to

learn, people won't judge you for using bad

grammar for example.

Honestly we really don't care

when someone is speaking to me in English I'm just so

grateful and so happy that they are taking the time to learn

and to really try to connect with me and have a conversation

I'm not interested in the way that they are speaking,

I'm more interested in the communication and the meaning

I'm more interested in what that person is trying to tell me

and it's likely it would be the same for you

so, remember that it's not about speaking perfectly

it's just about connecting with people, trying to have a conversation

trying to get them to understand what you're trying to say

and that way you can start to build relationships with people

which is really what it is all about.

At the start of your journey it's more

important to practice speaking than learning grammar

because when you do eventually start to speak

you're going to be really thinking about that grammar far too much

and about the mistakes that you're making and it will probably hinder your progress,

it might make you lose confidence

whereas if you start off by speaking and then

once you have a basic level start to learn about the grammar you'll

find that you'll progress a lot better and you can build your confidence up more.

It's also really important to note that natives make

mistakes too, don't think that we speak perfectly

I can't explain to you the amount of times I've been speaking to someone and

they make grammatical errors all the time just because when they are

speaking naturally they tend to do this, so even natives

make mistakes and you should not be afraid to do so either.

Okay so our third tip is: don't apologize for your level.

and this is a really important one

because I will not be offended by someone making

mistakes when speaking in English, in fact I really appreciate the fact

that someone is trying and I don't necessarily speak their

language so the fact that they speak mine is amazing to me!

If you apologize for your level you're not

even giving the person you're speaking to a chance to

make their own mind up about you or just not even think about your level

in English they already start to make assumptions about your level and that's

really not something that you need to do or that you necessarily want them to be

doing about your level of speaking English.

Learning a language is a tremendous challenge

and the fact that you have taken on that challenge and that you are practicing

and trying to learn English is incredible and should be rewarded

so you should be much kinder to yourself and not try to

apologize for your level because you've probably already come a

long way in your learning journey.

It's important to remember how far

you've come along in your journey and what you have done to get there you

must have worked pretty hard to get to the level you are

already at and you are still progressing so be

proud of that and don't apologize for your level

what you could do however is maybe if you

explain to the person that you're speaking to that you are learning

english and you're really trying and you show that you're a little bit vulnerable

and maybe not so confident with your speaking

they might then actually try to help you rather than thinking oh

this person is not so great at speaking english

they might actually think well how can I help them?

Or how can I give them more confidence by maybe giving you a compliment or

saying well done for trying this way really is much better

because you can be honest with that person they will appreciate your honesty

but you can still also have that opportunity to practice speaking your English

as opposed to apologizing for your level.

So please do remember not to do that, don't apologize for your level.

Now our fourth tip is: don't get frustrated with yourself.

If you are speaking in English and you

get frustrated with yourself then you'll actually probably block up

your mind will be blocked you'll be focused on your anger or your

frustration and it will make you not want to speak

or you'll lose all meaning of what you want to get across.

Rather than having these negative emotions try to be

creative, use your hands try and use gestures or even objects to get your

meaning across to help you, this is a far better way to communicate

than giving up or getting frustrated and

angry with yourself so that you can still progress in your

learning and learn from what you are doing in those moments of frustration.

I know it can be difficult, I've been there myself

in my language learning but it's

important to try and stay calm take a deep breath and

regain your thoughts and just try and think positively

and try and think of a different way to explain what you want to say.

Take as much time as you need and like I said before try and be creative

with your explanations I'm sure you'll still be able to get

your meaning across.

Another great tip is to reprogram your

nervousness as excitement so Simon Sinek has a great

video on this where he's describing athletes and how they tend to take their

nervousness and turn it into excitement to achieve great results and success.

So you could do the same rather than constantly thinking "oh i'm so nervous to

speaking in English" or "I'm very nervous in this moment,"

you can instead tell yourself that

you're excited and if you tell yourself the reasons why

then that's a great way of reprogramming your mind

so that instead of feeling really nervous in that moment you're excited at

the opportunity to learn or to speak in English or to have a

conversation with someone or to progress in your learning.

So really keep that in mind have a go and try it next time you're out or you want

to try speaking in English train your brain to not be nervous

and instead be excited.

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Now let's get back to today's lesson.

And our next great tip is: don't take it personally when people don't understand you.

So this has even happened to me

I've met people or I've had comments from people

that are so used to hearing the American English accent

and they don't understand the British one as much

and even i find it difficult to understand some native English accents too

for example very strong Scottish accents I find

difficult to understand sometimes as well

so it may be that the person you are speaking to

has not really had that much exposure to different accents

and that could be a reason why they are struggling to understand you

it could be other reasons as well so in that moment the most important thing

that you can do is to focus on speaking as clearly as

possible and really focusing on your

pronunciation as well this way the person you are speaking to

has the best chance of understanding what you're trying to say and that way

you won't get offended you won't take it personally

if they are not quite understanding you but you're still taking responsibility

for the fact that they can't by speaking clearly and focusing on that.

So tip number six is: don't compare yourself to other learners.

Now this is really really important because

everyone is individual, everyone has a very unique

journey on their language learning and in other things in life

as well so it's really important not to compare yourself to others because

you don't know what their journey has been like so far

you don't know how long they've been learning English, you don't know

what they have done to get to the level they are at

and learning a language is really difficult so

you need to be proud of where you are at in your journey right now

and be proud of what you have achieved so far

don't compare yourself to others and start to feel

upset about it think of how far you individually have come on your journey

and use that motivation to keep going, to keep progressing and to keep fighting

through any barriers that you come across.

Also if you encounter someone that has a more advanced level than you

or that you think speaks better English than you

use that as motivation to work harder or to find different ways of learning

that's going to help you to progress and get to where you

want to be also remember that everyone has

different strengths so other people will have different

strengths to you and maybe language learning is one of those.

I've met many people that tell me they

can speak many different languages and I'm always

amazed by that but then they tell me how they learn those languages or maybe

there's something in their family that motivated them to learn those languages

and i don't then feel so bad, I actually feel grateful for the fact that I can

speak a few languages and feel proud of myself and it should

be the same for you as well in any stage of learning be it

language learning or being in primary school or high

school or at university you are going to

encounter people with different strengths you are

going to make friends and meet people that can do

lots of different things or that maybe are better than you at

something but find something that you find

easier more difficult too, so it's important to remember that

everyone is different, everyone's journey is different

you need to be proud of yours you need to feel empowered by that and use it as

motivation to progress and also take inspiration from others

rather than comparing yourself and getting frustrated by it.

Okay so we've made it to number seven the next thing not to do when speaking

in English is that if you think you're fluent, don't get too cocky or arrogant.

So this is not the best approach it's not good to think

"oh well, I've already learned English, I don't need to practice anymore"

or "I don't need to speak it anymore," this will have a negative effect

on your English and it's really important to remember that life

is a journey not a destination, so you are never at the end you never

reach your destination with English language learning.

No matter what fluency means for you

you still need to practice because if you don't,

if you get too cocky or you get too arrogant

you may find that your English will get worse.

Being arrogant can also make you lazy which is never a good thing

always remember this phrase: if you don't use it, you could lose it.

And that is really important when learning a language and

it's very very true.

If you meet other language learners if

you're too arrogant you may then sound condescending and it's important to go

back on your journey and just remember where you started out

and what you had to do to be at the level that you

are today, so don't get arrogant when speaking to other people

see if there's ways that you can help them if they want to be helped

and remember to keep practicing whether it's

small pockets of time each day or sometimes in the week it's really

important to keep progressing you could even think of a new target for

yourself as part of your fluency in English so

that you don't stop remember it's a journey.

Another great way to think of this one instead of getting arrogant or

thinking that you've already learned English you could teach it so by

teaching others it's a great way to really cement

what you have learned and that could take you to the next

level always remember that no matter where you are in your journey

there can always be another level for example

in English, I don't know all of the words in the English language so there are

times where I'm watching tv and i have to look up a word because

it's something that I haven't heard before

and i'm a native English speaker, so imagine where you are on your journey

there is always the next level that you can reach.

If you're enjoying this lesson and you want to hear about what Ethan

and I discussed about this topic then why not check out our podcast?

You'll find the link in the description box below

and we have many other great podcasts where you can learn a lot more

about English and also some tips on how to improve.

So there you have it those are our 7 things not to do when speaking in English.

and I really hope that you enjoyed this lesson

and that you can learn from those tips and apply them

to your English language learning, if you did enjoy this lesson please give it a

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English language learning in a really fun way.

Now let's jump into this list of 6 incredible books for your English

and your life alright so the first book that I have for you on this

list is the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Now this is definitely one of my top books ever now if you want to be more

successful at anything you should really consider

reading this book