Speak CONFIDENT English in 20 minutes: English speaking lesson

Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com.  

Are you ready to speak confidently  in English? Let's talk about it. 

Let's imagine this scene. You're walking out  of your local grocery store and you see me  

walking up to you and I say to you in English,  "Excuse me, do you know where the local cafe  

is? I'm trying to find it." "Oh my goodness."  Do you panic? Do you hesitate, "Uh, uh," or  

do you confidently say, "Oh, hey Vanessa, I watch  your lessons. Yeah, the local cafe's just right  

around the corner. Can I treat you to a drink?" If  you can't speak confidently like this in English,  

yet never fear. Today, you are going to learn  the tricks to speaking confidently in English. 

And of course, like always, to help you  never forget what you are about to learn,  

I have created a free PDF worksheet today for  you with all of today's ideas, sample sentences,  

concepts, everything that you need to go into the  real world and speak confidently. And of course,  

at the bottom of the worksheet, you can answer  Vanessa's challenge question so that you never  

forget what you've learned. In today's  lesson, you are about to see two of my  

most popular lessons about speaking confidently  in English. So, are you ready to say goodbye  

to fear and hello to confidence? Let's do it. Today, I'm on the beach in very sunny, very hot  

even though it's 7:00 in the morning, Costa Rica.  It's beautiful. And a what better place to relax  

than at the beach, right? But you can't always  be at the beach when you're speaking English. So,  

today, I want to give you my top tip for helping  you to relax, de-stress, and feel comfortable when  

you're speaking English. I know that a lot of  you use English for your job. Maybe you need to  

speak in English with a foreign company or maybe  you need to speak with your clients that are from  

other countries. This is a pretty  stressful situation. Because number one,  

you want to be polite, you want to represent your  company well. But also, you want to represent  

yourself well. You want to be confident, be  an adult who can express yourself completely. 

So, when you speak in a business situation,  I would consider this the top, maybe most  

stressful situation in English. What about  another level down from that? Maybe you are  

walking around New York City on your vacation and  you get lost or you want to find a good restaurant  

so you want to ask for a recommendation  and you decide to approach a stranger. You  

want to talk with a native English speaker.  Well, this is also can be pretty stressful,  

but it's a little bit less stressful than  a business situation because you're not  

going to lose your job. What if you go to an  English class in your city? You're surrounded  

by other people who are also learning English. And this is slightly different than approaching  

someone in New York or having a business meeting  because they understand exactly the situation that  

you're in. They understand exactly that kind of  nervousness, that kind of stress or fear about  

speaking another language because that's what  they're doing too. They're also English learners.  

What about if you're just at home watching this  lesson and you're repeating it out loud? You're  

maybe watching the subtitles, which you can always  click on on YouTube, you're watching the subtitles  

and you're trying to repeat out loud after me. No  one's listening, you're just at home by yourself,  

but you still need courage to be able to use your  voice, to use your pronunciation muscles and speak  

out loud and hear your own voice in English. This is, I think, the least stressful situation.  

And this is my tip, this is where I  recommend starting. If you feel super  

stressed about speaking English, start at  the easiest level. And this is by yourself,  

no one else is listening, no one else is watching  you, just by yourself at home. You can shadow or  

repeat directly after me in these videos. You  can look at the subtitles below the screen if  

you're on the computer. You can just click CC in  the bottom corner. Or if you're on your phone,  

you can click those three little dots at the  top of the screen and you'll see the subtitles.  

You can just repeat out loud after me and get  used to hearing your own voice using English. 

I know for me, when I visited other foreign  countries like in Costa Rica, here they speak  

Spanish, I feel a little bit strange at first  hearing my own voice trying to say something in  

another language. And maybe you felt that feeling  too. So, when you get used to hearing your own  

voice using English, you'll start to feel a little  more comfortable and then you'll be able to work  

up to the next level. So, after you've mastered  speaking with yourself alone, no one's watching,  

then you can go to that next level, which  is speaking with other people who really  

get and understand how you're feeling. Maybe  other English learners are here on YouTube,  

or I know a lot of you who are part of  my course, The Fearless Fluency Club,  

a lot of you speak together on Skype. You connect with each other daily, maybe  

on WhatsApp, on Skype, on Google Hangouts and  just try to connect, get to know other cultures,  

other people, but also you can get over your  fear of speaking together because you're both  

in the same boat. This is a wonderful idiom that  means you're both in the same situation that  

involves maybe a little bit of risk, a little bit  of stress, you're both in that situation, and you  

can both understand each other. So, speaking with  another English learner is a great next step up to  

help build your confidence. After you've mastered  speaking with yourself, you've done that for a  

little while, you feel more and more comfortable,  you've spoken with another English learner,  

now it's time to speak with a native speaker. Hmm, this could be really anyone. It could be  

a teacher, it could be someone who lives in  your city, who you trust, maybe a coworker  

who is from the U.S. and you want to just  have some coffee together and chat together.  

You already have a little relationship, you  already know each other and trust each other  

or maybe you just go to another city like you go  to London and you want to order in a restaurant,  

maybe you can watch my video about how to order  in a restaurant up here, you'll be able to just  

feel a little more comfortable because you've  already worked those steps, starting small,  

then working more and more and more and  now you're speaking with a native speaker. 

Personally, I think something really magical  happens when you speak with a native English  

speaker and they can understand you, you can  understand them, and you just have a real  

conversation. Something happens that is amazingly  magical for your confidence when you realize,  

"Vanessa can understand me, this other native  speaker can understand me, and I'm communicating?  

This is amazing." You have this beautiful boost  of confidence and it really helps you to just  

increase your English in every other way. What do  you think happens next after you've spoken with  

yourself, you've built your confidence, you've  spoken with other English learners, you've built  

your confidence and then you've spoken with  native speakers in a kind of casual situation? 

Now, it's time to move on and speak at  your job. Maybe you have a presentation,  

maybe you have to make phone calls with  some other clients in other countries.  

You've really prepared yourself well. You've  started small and you've built up to this most  

stressful situation. It might still be a little  stressful, but it's going to be way better  

than if you just started with that and you didn't  prepare little by little along the way. When you  

do this, you're building your confidence and  you're really giving a gift to yourself that  

"I will grow, I will improve and I can do it.  I can relax. I can de-stress." You don't need  

to be at the beach. You don't need to have the  waves, and the sounds, and the trees, and the  

monkeys behind you. You just need to really build  your confidence day by day by starting small. 

And now I have a question for you. Have you ever  spoken English with a native English speaker? How  

did you feel? What was that experience like  for you? If it was a positive experience,  

congratulations. If you felt really stressed,  really worried, just take it back a little bit,  

start small. Start with these steps  I'm talking about, shadowing my videos,  

speaking and repeating after me, then working  up with another English learner and then with  

a native English speaker. And then, if you need to  use it for your job, you will be well-prepared at  

that point. Before we go today, we're going to  see some beautiful scenery of the beach. You're  

going to see the waves rolling in and we're  going to repeat an important phrase. I want  

you to repeat it with me. This is starting at the  base level, repeating and shadowing by yourself. I  

want you to say this phrase with me and I hope  that it will help to build your confidence. 

The waves are beautiful, aren't they? I want you  to repeat this sentence with me. Just imagine the  

waves, take a deep breath, let's say it together.  "I can speak English confidently without stress.  

I can speak English confidently without stress.  I can speak English confidently without stress.  

I can speak English confidently  without stress." You can do it.  

Why did I choose a spot where I'm  staring directly into the sun? Ah. Whoo,  

it's hot. Did you guys see how much I'm  sweating right now? I hope you don't see my skin  

burning as we speak. Huh. There's monkeys in there  somewhere. They stole my snack yesterday, hmm.  

Hope they enjoyed it. I guess there's jaguars  in there too so, hmm, it's got to be safe. 

Imagine this. You're at a party where you don't  know anyone. Everyone's having conversations  

in English, but you don't feel super comfortable  speaking with just anyone in English yet. Someone  

walks up to you, smiles, introduces themselves  and starts speaking with you in English. They're  

friendly and seem genuinely interested in what  you have to say. And before you know it, you are  

having a comfortable conversation in English. You  may not be saying everything perfectly, but your  

new friend is encouraging you and you're saying  things that you didn't even know that you knew  

how to say. You leave the party feeling happy, and  confident, and proud of yourself for having such  

an amazing conversation. If you had not gone to  that party or if you had hidden in the bathroom,  

you would have missed out on such an amazing time. There's a famous quote by Maya Angelou and she  

says, "I've learned that people will forget  what you said, people will forget what you did,  

but people will never forget how you made them  feel." This is great news because you don't have  

to have perfect grammar, perfect vocabulary,  perfect pronunciation when you speak. When you  

make other people feel good, you are automatically  great at having amazing conversations. Today, I'm  

going to teach you four tips and several phrases  so that you can make other people feel awesome  

while you're speaking with them which also grows  your confidence in speaking in English. Tip number  

one for amazing conversations is to compliment  other people. This doesn't mean that you tell  

everyone, "You're so beautiful. You're handsome.  Your hair is amazing. Your eyes are great." 

No. This doesn't mean that you are  complimenting their physical appearance.  

This means that you are showing genuine interest  in what other people have to say. A way that you  

can show other people that you're interested  in what they have to say and you're saying,  

"Yes, what you're saying is interesting. I  want to hear more about that," is by using  

some positive interjections in conversations.  Advanced English speakers use these all the  

time and you should too. I want to teach you some  of these positive interjections that you can use  

that tell the other person, "Hey, you're awesome.  I want to hear more about what you have to say."  

I'm going to say each positive interjection two  times. The first time, I want you to listen, and  

the second time, I want you to say it out loud. Imagine that you're at that party, talking with  

someone else who you want to become friends with,  who you're interested in and you want to show them  

"I'm interested in you." How can you compliment  them with your ears, listening to them with these  

interjections? Let's give it a try. "Wow, that's  so cool." Say it with me. "Wow, that's so cool.  

That's great! That's great! I love that. I  love that. No way, that's awesome. No way,  

that's awesome. Oh my gosh, how fun is that?  Oh my gosh, how fun is that? Oh, really?  

Oh, really? For real? That's too funny! For real?  That's too funny." Can you get the sense from  

all of these positive interjections that you're  making that other person feel like, "I'm saying  

something that that person really cares about"? When they say, "For real? That's too funny,"  

it shows you are listening. It shows that you  think they're funny and they're going to feel  

so good about themselves. You are complimenting  what they're saying. My second tip for having  

amazing conversations is to have a mindset shift.  I want you to shift your mindset into thinking  

that every person you speak with has something  interesting to say and you can't wait to find out  

what that is. Be interested in other people. If  you only speak about yourself, you're not a great  

conversationalist. If someone says that their  car broke down and you immediately say, "Oh yeah,  

my car broke down last week too." How do you  think that makes that other person feel? Makes  

them feel like, "Did you even hear what I said?  Do you care about me that my car broke down?" 

So, take a step back and be interested in  their story. Be interested in their life.  

Have you ever been telling someone  something that you are really excited about?  

Maybe you said, "Ah, I just interviewed  for a new job last week at Google."  

And then, the other person says, "Oh yeah,  I thought about interviewing for there too."  

Hmm, well, how does that make you feel? Kind  of feels like they're not willing to share your  

excitement because they only want to talk about  themselves. "Oh yeah, I interviewed there too."  

Well, you don't want to be that kind  of person. You want to take interest  

in what other people have to say and think,  "Wow, other people have something that I am  

curious about and I can't wait to learn more." I'd like to give you some phrases that you can  

use to show that you're genuinely interested  in what other people have to say. Like before,  

I'm going to say them two times. First time, you  can listen, and the second time, say it with me,  

speak out loud. "How did that happen? How did that  happen? What was that like? What was that like?  

What do you think will happen? What do you think  will happen? What made you want to do that? What  

made you want to do that? Have you always  been interested in that? Have you always been  

interested in that?" Great. These phrases show  that you are genuinely interested in what the  

other person has to say. Great, you are on  your way to having amazing conversations. 

Tip number three for having amazing  conversations is to listen actively.  

Listen actively, but listening is usually a  passive thing. You're just taking in input.  

But really, active listening means that you are  either guessing the emotion of the other person  

or you're mirroring their words. This is actually  excellent for learning English because you're  

taking their words and you are kind of restating  it. So, you might be growing some new vocabulary,  

growing some new grammar based on what the other  person said. Let me give you a couple examples.  

If you work in customer service and someone calls  your customer service service line and says, "This  

product broke, I can't believe it." You might  say, "I'm sorry. You must be really frustrated."  

But they say, "No, I'm just disappointed  because I thought that it would work." 

Well, what word did they use that you didn't use?  You said, "You must be frustrated," and they said,  

"No, I'm just disappointed." ... Great chance for  active listening. You can say, "I'm sorry that  

you're so disappointed. Let me do what I can to  make it right." You're mirroring their word and it  

makes them feel heard. You're actively listening  to the words that they're using and you're able to  

use it yourself to reflect their feelings. This is  a great type of listening and phrasing to use when  

someone's telling you something that there's a lot  of emotion behind. It could be positive emotion,  

it could be something they're worried or  fearful about, this type of negative emotion. 

Here are some sample phrases that you can use so  that you show that you are listening actively to  

someone else and that other person feels good  that you really heard what they had to say.  

You can say, "You must be feeling," and then add  some kind of emotion. "You must be feeling really  

excited about that job interview." "You must be  feeling really nervous to approach your boss."  

"You must be feeling really upset that that  happened." Oh, well, maybe they didn't say  

specifically excited, worried, upset, but  you are guessing their emotion. Maybe they'll  

correct you and say, "Ah, actually I just feel  hesitant. I feel really disappointed." Okay,  

that's all right. You can mirror that  back. "Yeah, that's so disappointing." 

But when you are trying to actively listen  and pull out their emotion, excellent,  

you are an wonderful conversationalist.  Let me give you some other phrases.  

"That must be really nerve-wracking. That  must be really exciting. That must be really  

awful. That must be," can you practice that with  me? "That must be really nerve-wracking. That must  

be really exciting. That must be really awful."  And our final phrase for active listening is,  

"That sounds really nerve-wracking. That sounds  really exciting. That sounds really awful."  

So here, you are trying to pull that emotion  out of it and connect with the other person.  

Can you say that with me? "That sounds really  nerve-wracking. That sounds really exciting.  

Uh, that sounds really awful." Excellent work. And a little bonus tip, this works very well  

with children. If you have young kids or I guess  any kids, if you work with kids, you see kids,  

you know that kids exist, I recommend this  book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen,  

How To Listen So Kids Will Talk. They also have  a teenage version as well, I think. And it's a  

great way to be able to use active listening at an  age-appropriate level so that your kids feel heard  

and also so that your kids hear you and hear you  in the way that you want them to hear. Great book,  

great recommendation. Okay. Let's  go to our fourth and final tip for  

amazing English conversations. Tip number four  for amazing conversations is body language. You  

can have all the right words, all the right  things to say, but if your body is like this,  

well, you know what that tells the other person?  "I don't really care what you have to say.  

Just kind of bored." So, instead, as you are having a conversation  

with someone else, I want you to remember, NOSE.  Huh, your nose? No. Instead, this is an acronym,  

N-O-S-E. We'll talk about it in just a second.  Remember NOSE as you are speaking with someone  

else. N is nodding, nodding. If you're speaking  and someone just stands there and doesn't move,  

it seems a little robotic, a little bit like  they're not listening or they don't care,  

makes you feel a little uncomfortable. So, if you  just nod while someone else is speaking, oh, it  

shows that you're listening. It doesn't mean you  always agree with them, but it shows that you're  

listening. You're nodding. What about O? O is for  open posture. Which one feels better to you, me  

with my arms crossed, maybe turned away from you,  or me with my arms down and just listening to you? 

When your body is open, you don't  need to be very open or like this,  

instead, just having an open posture, your  shoulder is back and you're facing someone,  

this shows that you care and that you're  listening. The S of NOSE is smile.  

Did you know that our brains can tell if a  smile is real or not? When you smile like this.  

Yes, my mouth is making a smiling face,  but it's not real. And could you tell,  

could you tell that I wasn't really  smiling, I was just fake smiling?  

Well, the reason why we can tell is because my  eyes are not doing anything. A real smile goes  

all the way up to your eyes. If I smile like this,  do you see how my eyes are crinkling a little bit,  

maybe even completely crinkling? That means that  it is a real smile, that we are really interested. 

So, as someone is speaking, you can be completely,  really interested in what they have to say, not  

just, feels like a robot, right? But when you're  really interested in what someone has to say,  

"Oh yeah," your eyes crinkle a little bit  and you smile all the way up to your eyes.  

The final E of NOSE is eye contact. In  English, in the U.S., it is common and  

important to maintain eye contact with someone  when you're speaking. You don't need to stare  

at them the whole time and never look away. But  if you avoid eye contact as someone's speaking,  

it makes them feel like you don't want to  be there, you don't want to talk with them.  

So instead, if you look them in the eyes, and you  smile, and you nod, and you have open posture,  

you are a welcoming and inviting person  who anyone would want to speak with. 

So, maintain some eye contact. Maybe if that's  tough for you can focus here or focus on one  

eye over the other, you don't need to stress  yourself out too much. But having that kind of  

nodding, this genuine smile, open posture, and  maintaining eye contact, that is a great way  

to have excellent conversations. Well, now,  when you compliment others, have a mindset  

shift that other people have interesting things  to say, and you listen actively and have great  

body language, well, congratulations, you  have the power to have amazing conversations,  

great relationships and confidence in yourself.  Pretty good for a free YouTube video, hey? 

Congratulations on growing your English  skills so that you can speak confidently. Yes,  

you can do it. Don't forget to download the free  PDF worksheet right here. There is a link in the  

description so that you never forget what you've  learned and you can really speak confidently  

the next time that you see me when you're walking  out of your local grocery store. Be ready,  

I'll be there. I'll be asking you questions and  I want you to have confidence to speak with me.  

Well, thank you so much for learning English with  me and I'll see you again next Friday for a new  

lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye. The next step is to download the free  

PDF worksheet for this lesson. With this  free PDF, you will master today's lesson  

and never forget what you have learned. You  can be a confident English speaker. Don't  

forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel  for a free English lesson every Friday. Bye.