4 Tips for EASY Conversations in ENGLISH

Aww yeah RealLifers, hands up if  you've been in a similar situation. 

Yeah we've all been there and if you're like  me then you've practiced so many times in your  

head what you want to say you feel confident  and then just when you're actually having  

a nice conversation with someone  and everything's going well,  

suddenly you're in the middle of  a sentence and disaster strikes! 

You freeze up. Oh no, what's the word I want to  say here? You just forget everything, you feel  

embarrassed, awkward and ashamed because you think  everyone is looking at you and judging you, right? 

Actually, just last week I was in my local  bakery and I couldn't remember the word for  

cake in Portuguese and I felt all  of the emotions I've just mentioned. 

It is a terrible feeling. Especially when the  truth is your English is great, only in this  

moment the nerves got the better of you. Well, what if I told you there are ways  

you can deal with this terrifying situation  so that your conversation can flow naturally  

and you can avoid embarrassment? It is very possible with the 4 Practical  

Tips I'll teach you in today's lesson on how you  can prepare yourself for this kind of situation. 

But did you know that we make two lessons  every week to help you understand fast English,  

be understood by anyone and connect to the world? What I'm about to teach you is going to give  

you the confidence to speak confidently and  really live your English and that's exactly  

what Alan did and he said that our lessons  are dynamic and give lots of different tips  

on how to learn and practice your English. So if you also want to take your English  

beyond the classroom don't wait to join  our Global Community. All you need to do  

is hit that Subscribe button and the Bell down  below so you don't miss any of our new lessons.

So, I'm going to explain 4 types of situations  and how you can best adapt to each situation.

This happens to everybody. And, trust me, running  away is not the answer. This may happen because  

you don't have many opportunities to practice your  speaking or because you feel the questions in real  

life are so different from what you've studied. So the tips in this lesson will help lower  

your anxiety when talking to  strangers for the first time.

If you are a person who feels nervous  

when speaking with others, start exercising ways  of remaining calm. You can try out meditation  

techniques to help your mind calm down or take  deep breaths before engaging in a conversation.

It's common to run out of things to say when  in a conversation, especially if you don’t know  

the person. and this happens even in your first  language, so get the other person to help you. One  

good way to turn this around is to say: "Sorry,  I lost my train of thought. Let's move on."

If you forgot a word you wanted  to say or started to ramble,  

don't beat yourself up. Just pause, smile,  say "Let me start again", and start over.

Another thing you can start working on is  learning to be comfortable with silence.  

Take a deep breath and maintain eye-contact.  It's highly likely the other person will ask  

YOU a question or comment something, and then  you can get the conversation back on track.

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It can be quite uncomfortable and even scary to  start speaking English in the real world. Even  

proficient English speakers find themselves in  situations in which they are not sure what to say.

So, another great way to deal with a situation  

in which you don't remember a word or are not  sure about what to say is to use survival phrases.

Briefly, they are ready-to-go sentences  that will help facilitate communication.  

You can resort to them when you feel you're  not starting to follow the conversation  

and may not know what to say next.

These are some advanced phrases you  can use whenever you feel like you  

need to make sure you understood or  were understood in a conversation.

Use the words on the screen now to complete  the sentences. Let's see how much you know. 

You can pause the lesson to  give you more time to answer.

How did you go? We made a lesson entirely on this  topic that you can check out right after this one. 

Click up here or down in the  description below to watch it next.

Just like survival phrases, another  resource you can use are discourse markers.  

Discourse markers are words that help the  conversation flow and connect sentences together,  

and can also be used to "buy" you some  seconds to think on what to say next.

Take a look at Andrea's  explanation of discourse markers.

Discourse markers can be used to help you be more  fluent while getting around in the conversation.  

The point is not just rely on them as an excuse  not to take your English to the next level. 

The more you practice and use the vocabulary  you've learned, the less you'll rely on them.

I can't stress enough how the best way  to become fluent in English is to just  

go out there and speak. Conversations are somehow  predictable, you often start with some small talk,  

maybe a discussion about the weather or some  other common topics, and build from that. However,  

starting a conversation is an  adventure. This is how you make friends,  

learn new things, and discover new experiences.

The point here is that you don't need  to overplan everything you are going to  

say in a conversation. You can navigate  it naturally, and here's how you do it.

If you feel you don't have something to add to  the conversation, look around and find something  

you can comment on. You can say "This reminds  me of (a movie you saw, a place you visited,  

etc.", and then throw the ball to the other  person by asking "What do you think of that?"

Sometimes you may freeze because you are talking  about a topic you're not very familiar with. So,  

use this opportunity to learn from the  conversation. Ask questions rather than  

speaking about the topic. Show interest in it  and explore the other person's knowledge on it.  

You might even learn something new yourself!

Still talking about questions, the golden tip is  to ask open-ended questions. That is, questions  

where the answer can't be YES or NO. The simplest  and easiest one is WHY. This simple question is  

likely to make people open up more, and it'll give  you ideas on how to follow up on the conversation.

Let's try it out. I'm going to show 3 common  YES/NO questions and I want you to try to  

make them more open-ended. Pause this video  and share your ideas in the comments below.

I can't wait to see your  ideas! Here are my suggestions.

As a teacher I often ask open-ended questions  because it gets my students to start speaking and  

to use your beautiful vocabulary that you know. The best way to build up confidence and start  

using your English right now is by becoming part  of a community in which you'll feel safe to make  

mistakes. Use English in real life and boost your  fluency to become an advanced English speaker. 

Does that sound like something you want to  do? In fact our Fluency Circle friend said  

that our course gave her the chance to do  what she loves and how powerful she feels. 

Now I want to invite you to be part of our Fluency  Circle, the community of the Native Immersion  

Course. In our 41-week course you'll master  pronunciation, cultural context and so much more! 

You can try it for FREE today with  our 3-Part Power Learning Series. 

To start right now you can click up  here or down in the description below.

Scenario 4 and my personal favorite is The Victor.

Another way you can handle a freezing  situation is by using relative pronouns (where,  

that, who). I actually love playing this  game in my classes because my students  

have to describe a thing using  lots of different vocabulary.

So let’s take ‘cake’ as our example here.  Do you remember that I forgot the word for  

‘cake’ in Portuguese? Well, I was able  to effectively deal with this situation  

by using relative pronouns. So instead of  saying “I’d like the cake, please.” I said  

“I’d like that thing that is  next to the chocolates, please.”  

By doing this, I avoided the embarrassment  of standing there and staring at the worker.

Remember - Who for people, where for  places, and that/which for things!

I'm going to say three sentences and  I want you to guess what the word is  

that I am talking about. Are you ready? Let's go!

Did you get them all correct!? Aww yeah! So  next time you don’t know a word, use WHO, WHERE,  

THAT to explain what you’re talking about. To  make sure you remember words that you don’t know,  

go home and look up the work in the dictionary.

You're learning English, that's the reason why  you are here! How long has it been? One year,  

two, maybe even more than five! You  can understand things when you read,  

your listening has improved a lot, but  you're growing more and more frustrated  

with the fact that you lack the  confidence to speak to people! 

A victor learner takes risks, a victor  learner isn't scared of making mistakes,  

a victor learner doesn't care about the  risk of freezing during a conversation. 

We all have a primal need for certainty  and stability. We all like to live in  

our default setting, and do things everyday  that assure us comfort and avoid us pain.  

However, the truth is, as much as we aim for  perfection, perfection is really hard to achieve. 

Embrace your mistakes. This is the ideal situation  for you and for me to learn from and improve when  

things don’t really go that well. We often  say here at RealLife English; connection over  

perfection. Walking or stumbling your way to real  world fluency as a journey, not a destination. 

So what does this all mean? If you’re a victor,  then you will take parts of the tips mentioned  

during this lesson and use them to your advantage.  My dad used to tell me growing up, mind over  

matter, and this basically means that you need  to have the right mindset to continually improve. 

There's a part of ourselves that craves the  uncertainty of the unknown, the diverse and  

the challenging. It's a calling to experience a  wide range of emotions and states! As a language  

learner, you're saying "I'm up for an adventure."  As an English learner, you have made the decision  

to get the best tool to launch yourself to  explore the world and have that adventure.

A victor is adaptable, you can easily  change the subject or think on your feet,  

that is to think quickly. So if you  forget a word, you can ask a question.  

If you don't remember what to say, rely on  survival phrases. If you panic, take a deep  

breath and start over. If you are now familiar  with the topic, use the opportunity to learn.

Don't become dependent on the tools,  but use them in YOUR advantage. 

Can you be a victor learner? I bet you can! If you want to become a victor learner or  

if you think you already are a victor  learner smash that thumbs up button.

So RealLifers, in this lesson I have  given you some easy to apply tips  

on what to do if you freeze  up in your next conversation. 

The big takeaway, or the thing I want you to learn  from this lesson is that using your skills and  

English that you already know will help you reach  the point where freezing mid-conversation will be  

a thing of the past. If you apply these tips,  especially the tips I explained in scenario 4,  

then you’re going to reach a level  of English that you will be proud of. 

If you enjoyed the lesson, smash that thumbs up  button and don’t forget to subscribe and hit the  

bell down below so we can continue to help you  on your journey beyond the classroom. Aww yeah!