How to Feel Less Shy Speaking English - Improve English Speaking Confidence Now!

How Feel Less Shy English parlante - Migliora ora la fiducia in inglese!

Hello.

I'm Oli.

Welcome to Oxford Online English.

In this lesson, you can learn about dealing with shyness or nervousness when you speak

English.

Do you sometimes feel shy when you speak English?

Is it worse when you speak to native speakers?

Do these feelings of shyness or nervousness stop you from practicing and using your English?

Yes?

Yes?

And yes?

This video could hopefully help you.

Shyness and nervousness are natural, but they also make it more difficult to speak.

If you feel shy, you might not be able to think of things to say, or you might not be

able to use grammar and vocabulary correctly.

Some English learners get stuck in a pattern where they feel shy, and so they avoid using

English or speaking English.

Now I can't promise to solve all of your problems with shyness and nervousness.

But in this video, I'll share some advice on how to deal with these feelings, which

I hope will be helpful.

Point one, remember that speaking is just speaking.

What do I mean?

Well, when we first hear foreign languages or meet foreigners, they often sound very

strange or interesting or exotic to us.

Oh, he's speaking French.

Wow!

He must be saying something romantic, or he must be talking about literature or philosophy.

I wish I could understand him.

Oh, wow!

She's writing in Chinese.

Those characters, they're so beautiful.

She must be writing a poem.

I wish I could understand what she's writing.

Yeah, you know what?

Maybe the French guy is talking about philosophy.

Maybe he's just talking about how he got stuck in a traffic jam.

Maybe the Chinese girl is writing a poem about misty mountains, or maybe it's just a shopping

list.

If you think that foreign languages and foreign people are something strange or exotic, of

course, you'll feel more nervous when you're speaking.

I think many English learners have this idea.

They think, "Oh, I'm not talking to a person.

I'm talking to a native speaker."

But actually, speaking English isn't something special.

It's just speaking, like you do all day, every day.

All over the world, most of what people talk about is quite simple, and it's quite similar

all over the world.

Native English speakers aren't different animals.

They're just normal people.

They talk about their work.

They complain about their bosses.

They talk about movies they've seen.

They decide what they're going to have for lunch and so on, just like anybody else.

So don't think that native speakers are some kind of magical animal.

They're not.

If you want to talk to them, talk to them.

If you don't, don't.

It's not such a big deal either way.

What?

Not a big deal?

Really?

Yeah, really.

You need to ask yourself, part two, "What's the worst that could happen?"

So you feel really nervous about speaking English.

One day, you find the courage, you go and talk to a teacher at your school, maybe a

British person or an American person.

It goes horribly badly.

You feel really uncomfortable.

You can't think of anything to say.

So you walk away, and you think thoughts like, "I've embarrassed myself.

I feel like an idiot.

Why is my English so bad?"

Here's a question though.

What have you actually lost?

Nothing.

It's not a big deal.

It's just a conversation.

The big deal is only in your head.

You think these thoughts.

Nobody else.

10 years in the future, are you still going to be thinking and worrying about that time

when, "Oh, I tried to start a conversation, and it didn't go very well."?

No, of course not.

Why not?

Because it's not that important.

Maybe it feels like a big deal.

It feels important at that moment, but it's not really important.

You haven't lost anything.

You may feel embarrassed, or you may feel stupid, but you're doing that to yourself.

There's no reason why.

No one else is telling you you're stupid.

You aren't risking anything, just by starting a conversation.

I guarantee the person you talk to is not thinking these thoughts.

So what can you do about these feelings?

How can you control them?

Well, let's look at point three: wear a mask.

These feelings of nervousness or shyness are all inside.

Here's the best piece of advice I can give you.

Just because you feel nervous, you don't have to act nervous.

Let me tell you a story.

Before I started teaching, I was terrified of public speaking.

Even speaking in front of very small groups made me feel very nervous and very, very stressed.

The first lesson I ever taught was to a group of maybe eight Russian teenagers, just a small

class.

It was the most scared I've ever been in my life.

That's not an exaggeration.

I have quite seriously never felt so much fear.

I was shaking.

I was sweating.

I couldn't remember anything about my lesson.

I tried to teach something about modal verbs.

I don't think anybody learned anything.

Afterwards, I thought, "How am I going to do this?"

My trainer gave me the same advice I'm giving you.

Act confident, even if you don't feel confident.

So I did.

The first few months, I still felt really nervous, but I tried to hide it.

After maybe a year, I didn't feel so nervous.

After a few years, I could stand in front of 100 people and expect their attention,

even if I still felt a little bit nervous inside.

If it worked for me, it can work for you.

Sure, it takes time, and it's not easy, but it's possible.

So act confident.

Hold your head up.

Chin up.

Make eye contact, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Control the speed and the rhythm of your voice.

Doing these things is not so difficult, and it will make you feel good because you're

taking control of your feelings, instead of letting your feelings control you.

OK, you think, "Easy for you, Oli.

You're talking about speaking your own language.

We're talking about speaking a foreign language."

OK, let's talk about that.

Point four: worrying about your language makes your language worse.

Here's a question: when you hear a foreigner speak your language, how do you decide if

this person is speaking well or badly?

In most cases, people notice your fluency and your pronunciation.

In speech, people don't pay much attention to grammar and vocabulary if your speech is

easy to understand.

What does this mean?

It means that if you are embarrassed of your grammar or your vocabulary when you're speaking

English, you really shouldn't be.

First of all, worrying doesn't solve anything anyway.

If your grammar is bad, worrying about your grammar will not make it better.

The only result is that you will feel bad.

That's it.

Secondly, other people will really not notice your grammar or vocabulary very much.

Most people don't care about these things, most people who aren't English teachers.

Even English teachers care about these things at work, and then they stop caring after work.

Trust me.

If I've been teaching all day, and you come and talk to me, I do not want to think about

your grammar or your vocabulary problems.

That's the last thing I want to do at the end of the day.

Most teachers I know feel the same way.

Most importantly, worrying about your grammar and vocabulary will affect your fluency.

You'll speak slowly, and you'll hesitate more if you're always worrying about which verb

form should I use or what's the right word here.

So if you're just having a chat with someone, don't think about your English too much.

It doesn't help.

It doesn't make your English better, and it doesn't make it easier to communicate.

Just talk.

Try to communicate your ideas.

You'll sound more confident because you're not hesitating and worrying about your language.

If you sound more confident, hopefully you'll feel more confident too.

OK, let's review and put the things we've talked about together.

Part five, break the habit sooner, not later.

You can't help feeling shy or nervous, but you can help how you respond to these feelings.

Very often, our responses to our feelings are habits.

They're habits which are difficult to break, but not impossible.

Every time you want to talk to someone in English, but you choose not to, you're feeding

your bad habits.

Every time you think to yourself, "My grammar sucks.

I don't have anything interesting to say," you're feeding these bad habits.

So go and talk to someone, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

The first time, it might not go so well.

That's okay.

The 10th time, it will be easier.

The 100th time, it will be much easier.

You won't even remember how difficult it was at the beginning.

You don't have anything interesting to say?

Fine.

Say something boring.

No one expects you to be interesting all the time.

No one's interesting all the time.

Just say something boring.

End the conversation.

Most conversations are simple.

It doesn't matter that much what you say.

Worried about your grammar or your vocabulary?

Remember, no one else really cares that much.

Just focus on trying to communicate.

Talk.

Express your ideas.

When you're having a conversation with someone, these things are much more important.

Most importantly, stop feeding bad habits.

Go talk to people, even if you're uncomfortable.

You'll learn quite quickly that feeling shy or feeling nervous will only stop you speaking

English if you let it.

OK, that's the end of the lesson.

I hope you found it useful.

You can see more of our free lessons on our website, www.oxfordonlineenglish.com.

That's all.

Thank you very much.

See you next time.

Bye bye!