"I can't speak English because I fear making mistakes..."

hi there I'm Drew Badger the world's

first and number one English Fluency

Guide and in this video I'm going to

answer a question from my yet and that

is really it's actually not so much a

question so much as just just a

frustration and that is I can't speak

with people because I'm really too

nervous about making mistakes and if you

have this problem well we're going to

solve it right now for you in this video

so get excited about that but this is a

tricky problem that is not even

something that's exclusive to language

learners this is you know public

speaking speaking in front of other

people even making a video like this

where I'm standing in front of you and

you know even though we're not

physically in the same place but a lot

of people are nervous about that if you

go back and watch the videos I make

mistakes and I you know say things that

maybe like I could even be incorrect

like sometimes I feel bad if I say

something I try to go back and correct

something but if I make a mistake in a

video because hey I'm human and you know

even a teacher even an English fluency

guy that can go out and try his best to

make sure everything is understandable

like you know it could always be better

so I have that same level of

perfectionism but here's how I deal with

that as well so I also have like people

that worried about being perfect or

worrying about how they can express

themselves but they don't want to make

any mistakes so here's how this work

this is called like a chicken and the

egg problem so you have to speak if you

want to eliminate mistakes because

that's the only way to practice but if

you speak then you make mistakes oh is

that that period between learning and

getting fluent where you're making

mistakes that makes it a really

difficult thing and so people are stuck

they have this problem if I want to

speak and I know I should speak but I

like I'm just really so nervous about

making mistakes so let's kind of forget

about the language for a moment and just

think about communication in general

with someone else and so this is how I

was thinking about it when i was getting

fluent in japanese and just trying to

get like in english we just say to get

over that hump so when you're learning

something it's really difficult at the

beginning because I it's hard to do and

like it gets difficult but as soon as

you start

really understanding it everything else

just really gets easy so it's getting

over that hump at the beginning that

makes it trickier makes it harder to

understand and just really makes things

frustrating so instead of thinking about

the language and the mistakes you're

thinking I like to remind myself and I

want to remind you of the value that you

give to other people and part of this

comes from even if you like even if you

think you don't have anything important

or interesting to share with somebody

when you stop yourself from getting into

a conversation that's really a chance

even again if you don't have anything

that you think is valuable just

listening to other people and letting

them speak is a really valuable thing

because most of us are kind of thinking

about ourselves all the time and it's

not like a bad thing it's just a natural

thing that we do this is just a

biological thing that people are focused

on their own lives in their own problems

and you know when other people are kind

of looking for you know other other

people to listen to them it's hard to

find people that really will just sit

and listen so being able to actually

listen to people especially listening to

people when they have problems is a

really valuable thing so when you decide

not to maybe sit down in a conversation

or begin a conversation with someone

because you're worried about the

mistakes you might make your kind of

focusing on yourself instead of taking

the opportunity to give value to someone

else and that means you excuse me are

actually valuable so you become valuable

when you can listen to other people

because again most people are kind of

thinking about themselves and want

somebody else to listen to them so if

you become the person that can listen to

other people it doesn't matter if you

make mistakes or not it's remembering

the value that you have and so if you

kind of think about it like like a graph

like the nervousness that you feel if

you can make the value that you offer

kind of stronger than that higher than

that more powerful than that then you

forget the fear that you have and you

think I okay I'm really valuable so in

the one of the guides that we offer

learners is about how to speak

confidently and we talk about the

different steps that you need to take in

order to become a

speaker but I give the example of a

person going into a burning building to

save a child now you might like be

fearful of that like fire is kind of a

scary thing but if you hear a child

screaming in a building you're going to

run in there and like the the fear that

you have is overpowered by the value

that you can give or if you see somebody

drowning in a pool like you might have

like a nice suit on or something but

you're going to forget about all of that

you're going to jump into the pool and

try to help that person and this is just

how we think because again we're doing

these kind of calculations in our mind

about what's valuable what what we can

contribute to other people and if we

think that maybe even if we're scared

about something if we if we can give

more value and receive something like

more powerful than that then that's

what's going to cause us to take action

so this original problem of you have to

speak in order to become fluent and you

have to develop that and you need to

make mistakes in order to do that so

this problem becomes solvable if you

look at it in a logical way and just

think like wow like if I get into a

conversation with someone I can really

give a lot of value and that value that

I can give that other person even if I'm

just listening so even if you don't

speak during much the first step is just

to get into a conversation to not be

nervous about that because you have

value to give even if you don't say

anything so if you get into a

conversation like okay I'm just going to

like this person looks kind of sad maybe

my speaking ability isn't so great but I

can listen to that person and understand

what they say in this link like yeah I'm

here for you I'm giving that other

person value and so beyond that

especially if you have something

valuable to teach or to share with other

people then that's even better that's

even more value you can give to someone

in a conversation so if you see someone

that has a problem like not only just

trying to be helpful in supporting that

person but you might even have the

solution to that so perfect example is

right here with these videos if you go

back and watch the the original videos

on this channel a couple of years ago

they didn't have my face because I was a

little bit nervous about that now I have

no problem at all because I've developed

the

bit of being able to do it I can speak

in front of crowds of people and that

doesn't matter to me either because I

think about the value that I'm giving to

people more than any nervousness I think

about like when I get in front of people

and think oh no like what will they

think about my making a mistake or

something or whatever they don't they're

not there for that they're there to get

some information just like you're not

here right like to like watch me make a

mistake you were here to get information

that will help you in your own life so

if you think about that for yourself for

your own conversations this is what's

going to give you the excitement and

really push you to get into the

conversations and the more you get into

conversations even if you just start

with listening to people then you'll

begin to kind of say a few extra things

maybe say one or two more phrases and

over time you will develop the habit of

being able to express yourself

confidently so if you have the problem

of getting into conversations and you're

nervous because you don't want to make a

mistake this is how you do it remember

the value that you give to other people

and that's what's going to help you get

fluent anyway remember that you're

always trying to develop habits and that

like the more you can push yourself the

more you kind of maybe even have to like

trick yourself with the way you think

just to push yourself in whatever you

can do that will help you get fluent you

should take that action and again it's

really a good thing it's a positive

thing you should be doing because you

really do have value to give to other

people even if you're not such a great

speaker yet well that's it for this

video if you have liked it do click that

like button become a subscriber to the

YouTube channel and do share this with

other people that you know maybe that

they also struggle with these same

problems of like how do i how do I think

how do i express myself because I'm

nervous if I make a mistake other people

will laugh I mean like they're thinking

about all those things but if you

remember the value like any any bad

feeling that you might get from somebody

laughing at you there's much more value

that you can give to the world and that

you can receive as well just by

listening to other people so go out and

practice and if you have more problems

with your confidence you'd like to learn

more about that you can click on the

link in this video to take our free

English fluency quiz it will tell you

exactly what you need to do the specific

steps you need to take if you want to

learn more about confidence or if you'd

like to improve your listening or

improve your pronunciation all of the

different things you can help you with

at English anyone calm so click on the

link in this video to take that free

fluency quiz and I will see you in the

next video bye bye