Speaking English - Clean yourself!!!

Hey, Mr. E. You smell something? Clean yourself. All right. Today's lesson is cleaning yourself.

Some things I don't have on the board, but I'll just say it and I'm going to want you

to remember. Sometimes, like right now, it's summer in Toronto. It's very, very hot. So

people need to wear deodorants. We'll get to that. But you need to clean yourself, people.

What do I mean? Well, for you, because you and I -- you and I -- are very good, but maybe

you will have to tell somebody else about their smells. Now, there is a lesson on engVid

about senses. We talk about sniffing and smelling, and you'll understand what it is, so please

go look for it, okay? And you'll go -- you'll understand why when -- all right. So clean

yourself. Well, what does that mean? Things get dirty. What that means is things come

on it, and you need to clean. Like on your computer screen, sometimes there are things,

and you wipe it, and then it looks better. When humans clean themselves, they don't smell

or look bad. So let's go to the board and see. So Mr. E., where should we start? Well,

how about everyday things? Everyday, there are some things you should do. Not you, of

course. You and I? No. Those other people, right? Okay. So what we do and we know is

-- first thing we do is, well, I'm a man, so I shave my face, right? Now, we don't usually

say, "I shave my face" in English. We don't. We say, "I shave." First person, "I." You

shave, okay? We don't say the other part. We only say the other part when it's part

of our bodies, okay? Because when we look, we always see our face. And when we're not

in front of a mirror, we never see our face, but we know it's us, you and me, okay? The

other parts belong to us, but we'll get there in a second. So I shave, you shave, he shaves,

okay? Now, what else do we do? Well, before I shave -- and I'm sure you do -- you wash

your face. You take some water and clean with some soap, yeah? You clean it. Then, you can

shave. Now, if you don't clean your face, bad things happen. You get something on your

face, and you have to go -- in English, we call that "pop a zit." That thing is called

a zit. That thing is called a zit. Or sometimes, people call it a pimple, a pimple, okay? You

get a pimple on your face. Squeeze the pimple, pop the zit, okay? So you might have to pop

a zit. Now, it's slang, so you don't want to say, "Hey, I wash today. My face dirty.

I got to pop a zit, okay?" People will go, "Ew, you're dirty. Clean yourself. This won't

happen." Okay, so this is my face. But what else is on my face? Teeth. We all have teeth.

If you want to keep your teeth -- I know you want to keep your teeth, because you have

a beautiful smile. I can see it from here. If you want to keep that, you have to do two

things. It will also save you money from the dentist. Number one, you should brush your

teeth. Brush them. You know, take a brush. We often use toothpaste, so you need toothpaste

and a toothbrush, and I brush. That's the verb we use when we do this, just as "wash"

is what we do for our face. I know it's soap and water, but we say, "Wash your face and

everyone knows." Soap, water. Brush teeth, this with toothpaste. Okay, what's the other

thing? Not everyone does this, but we also floss our teeth, okay? So you say, "I floss."

Many times in English, they just say, "I flossed" or "I'm flossing." We don't say, "Floss teeth,"

because everybody knows you only floss your teeth. So you go, "Hey, I flossed this morning.

I didn't floss this morning." But we do say, "I brushed my teeth this morning." You don't

say, "I brush." People will go, "Brush what? I don't understand." So I brush my teeth,

and I floss, okay? So this one is just, "I floss."

Now, face and head. Did we forget something? Well, James has no hair. Mr. E has no hair.

But sometimes, you can brush your hair with a brush, and it looks like this, or comb.

Combs look like this. They have teeth. If you have nice hair, you comb your hair. So

don't forget to comb your hair after you brush your teeth so you can look pretty, all right?

Now, Mr. E was smelling. Well, because the body down here can smell sometimes. And if

you go here, you need to take a shower. That means you go underwater, and the water comes

down like rain. So you say, "I need a shower because I don't smell good," or, "I need a

shower so I can feel good." If you have more time, what we do is we take a bath. Sometimes,

you hear Canadians say, "I bathe a lot," or, "I don't bathe. I take a shower." "Bath" and

"bathe" are basically the same. "Bathing" is the action. A "bath" is the thing. So you

take a bath or you bathe, okay? You do not take a bathe, all right? So, "Bathe tonight.

I can smell you from here." Okay, now, we talked about shower and bathe, and that's

for your body. We've talked about washing our face. Well, we have nails. Wolverine, animal.

We have nails like animals. But humans, we're better than animals. We take care of our nails.

So what I want to go is here, our hands and our feet. Our hands, when you cut or clip

-- notice it says "cut." We cut our nails. We have a special tool called a "nail clipper."

A "nail clipper" can be used for your fingers or your toes. So you can say, "Hey, I need

a nail clipper to cut my toenails or my fingernails." Okay? These things, all right? We do that.

You can also call it a "manicure." A "manicure" is when you go to a special place, and they

do it for you. Because we're rich, we get our fingers done. Please do my fingers. You

can get it done on your toes, and it's called a "pedicure." "Pedicure" comes from "foot,"

"pedestrian." "Foot," okay? So "pedi" -- "foot." "Mani" -- for "hands." "Manipulate" -- "hands."

So we can cut our fingers and hands to make them look nice. We can also brush our teeth

and wash our face.

"Shave." Remember we said, "I shave. You shave." Right? We said that. And I said it's because

we have a face, and everybody shaves the face, so we don't have to say, "I shave my face."

Silly. Well, we also shave other parts of our body. Now, women -- women shave their

legs. Okay? They've got nice legs, nice legs. They shave these things. I don't know if you

can see. See? "Leg," "shave." Okay? Just shave it, baby. It looks nice.

So women shave their legs, so they usually say, "I shave," just like men say, "Shave

my back." But some men are like gorillas. They have hair on their back, hair on their

chest, so they have to say, "I shave my back and I shave my chest because I'm a gorilla."

I have no hair. See? Anyway, so sometimes you have to shave your back and chest, okay?

And Mr. E, he looks so good because he shaves his head. So once again, we say, "I shave

my head," because some men don't have any hair. They are what we call "bald." But when

you shave your head, it's "bald" by choice, like me. All right? I shave my head. That's

why my hair is short.

The final one. Mr. E was not smelling here. This is called your "armpit" or "underarm,"

by the way. That's not what he was smelling. When you go to the washroom -- and boys and

girls, I know, we go to the washroom every day -- sometimes you go number two, which

is "poo-poo." When you go "poo-poo," you should "wipe your bum." Sometimes people say, "Wipe

your ass," and it means "clean." You go, "Poo-poo? Clean it. Use paper and clean." Or "Wash it.

Clean. Clean your bum." Funny thing in English is if you don't clean your bum, we -- sorry.

"People we don't like." Like a dirty bum. When you don't clean your bum, it's dirty

and smelly and disgusting. Sometimes we call people we don't like "asswipes" because they

are dirty and disgusting, and we don't like them very much. Don't be an asswipe. Clean

yourself, okay? Make sure you wipe your bum or your ass. Make sure you take showers regularly

or at least a bath. Brush your teeth and floss. Don't forget to wash your face, okay? And

remember the proper pronouns. "I" is for face, but we say "my legs," "my back," and "chest"

for other parts of the body that we can see when we look. Cool? Good. I've got to clean

up, clean the board here. I've got to go. I think I need a shower. I'm a little ripe.

"Ripe" means right now. Smell a little. Have a great day, okay? I forgot something before

I cleaned the board. You let me do it. "www.eng" as in English, "vid" as in video, ".com." Oh,

here. All right. See? That's right. Have a good one.