How to Have Interesting English Conversations (Even If You’re Shy!)

Okay, let me ask you this.

Have you ever had a conversation in English where you walked away thinking,

did I sound boring? Did I say enough? Did I ask the right questions?

And maybe you wanted to keep that conversation going,

but you weren't really sure what to say next.

Or maybe you felt pressure to be interesting,

but ended up overthinking everything instead. I totally get it.

And here's some good news.

You don't have to be the loudest person or the most outgoing person in the room

to have great conversations in English,

and you definitely don't need to change your personality. In fact,

making your conversations flow naturally in English is easier

than you think once you have the right strategies in place.

So today I am going to share eight simple techniques to help you sound

interesting,

keep your conversations flowing naturally and feel more confident in English

even if you're shy. So let's get started right away with our first thought.

Be interested, not just interesting. Here's what I mean by this,

and it might surprise you, but the most interesting people in the room,

they're not the ones who talk the most,

they're the ones who make other people feel interesting.

I want you to think about it for a moment.

How do you feel when you know that someone is listening to you?

Really listening and showing interest in who you are?

It feels great, doesn't it?

So the easiest way to do that in English conversations is to ask

great questions, but not just any questions.

We want questions that invite real conversation.

For example, instead of asking, do you like your job?

Which leads to just a simple yes or no answer, I want you to try this.

What's something about your job that people don't realize?

Or instead of asking, do you like traveling?

You could change that to if you could go anywhere tomorrow,

where would you go and why? Here's why these questions work.

People love talking about their interests,

and when you ask the right kinds of questions,

they're going to walk away from that conversation thinking you were great to

talk with because you were interested in them,

and that's a win-win.

But how do you make this feel effortless in a conversation?

The answer is to find common ground,

but you don't want to force finding common ground.

And sometimes you won't know what you have in common with someone right away,

and that's okay. The best way to figure it out is to ask open-ended questions.

Questions like, what do you wish you had more time for?

Or if you could spend the whole weekend doing just one thing,

what would it be?

The answers you get to questions like this are going to give you clues about

what excites someone, what makes them feel energized.

And once you find something in common, even something small,

the conversation will feel so much easier. Now, with all of this in mind,

let's talk a little bit more about questions,

because not all questions are created equal.

Some questions stop a conversation and others easily keep it going.

This is something I've already hinted at.

It's the importance of open-ended questions in English rather than closed

questions. And here's the difference.

A closed question only needs a simple yes or no answer,

and after that, it's just awkward silence. For example,

do you like your job? Yes. And now you're stuck trying to find another question,

but an open question, invite someone to share more. For example,

what's the best book you've read recently? Well,

now there's something to think about and something to respond to.

Here's a simple trick. If your question starts with, do you,

did you, is it or are you?

I want you to try replacing it with what, how, or why.

For example, instead of, do you like coffee, try this.

What's your go-to coffee order? Or instead of,

is your job stressful? Try? How do you manage stress at work?

Here's one more example. Instead of, are you into sports, you could try,

what's a sport you love watching or playing? Do you see how that works?

Just making those tiny changes from those yes,

no kind of questions into a question that encourages thought and longer

answers By adding in those question words,

when you ask better questions,

people naturally open up and that makes the conversation feel effortless.

Now, of course, conversations are not just about asking questions.

We don't wanna turn it into an interview. A conversation is a two-way street.

What that means is that you also want to be involved,

and most of the time when you ask someone a question, they will answer it,

and then they're likely to turn it back to you.

So you want to be ready to share a little bit about yourself.

For example, let's say that in a conversation someone says, I love cooking.

And here you have a choice to make. You could respond with, oh, that's nice,

or you could respond with a little bit about yourself, for example.

That's great. What's your favorite dish to make?

I just tried making homemade pasta last week,

and let's just say it did not go well. Now you've shared something,

you've participated in the conversation and you've helped to keep it going.

There aren't any long complicated stories here.

It's just a simple natural response in the conversation. Now,

one thing is inevitable. It happens to us all.

There are moments of awkward silence.

Sometimes the conversation just doesn't go the way you anticipate.

So what do you do when the conversation starts to slow down? Again,

we've all been there.

The conversation might be going well and then silence,

and it feels kind of awkward, but it doesn't have to. In fact,

as my fluency school students know, I kind of love these silent moments.

I don't mind having a few seconds of just quiet.

So instead of panicking in a conversation, I want you to try this.

I want you to think about what they've just said,

and then be prepared to respond with something like, oh,

that's really interesting. So tell me more. How did you get into that?

Or add a quick thought. Maybe it triggers an idea or a memory.

And so you might say, that reminds me of something I read recently.

Or you might ask a follow-up question to get more details. For example,

well, what's the best part about that? Or what's the best part about doing that?

These small responses keep the conversation moving along

naturally, even when those awkward silences pop up. Okay,

before we get to the last three strategies,

I wanna take a moment to tell you about my student, Monica.

Because like many of my students,

she had spent years studying English. She used language apps,

programs, teachers, and podcasts.

She could watch a YouTube video in English and understand everything perfectly,

but when it came to real conversations,

she felt totally stuck,

trapped between knowing English and actually speaking it with

confidence. And this is exactly why I created Fluency School,

my step-by-step program designed to bridge that gap between

understanding English and speaking it. In fluency school,

you learn how to think in English, express yourself clearly,

and feel at ease in conversations.

And the best part is that you develop these skills with real practice in

a supportive space with other motivated learners,

so you never have to figure it out alone. Now,

I only open fluency school twice a year.

So if you wanna get details about my next program,

make sure you visit speak confident english.com/fluency school.

And now let's get back to the final strategies because these last ones make

a huge difference in your English conversations.

Just like in your native language, when you have conversations in English,

you won't always have the same experiences or.

Opinions as the person you're speaking to,

but that doesn't mean the conversation has to stop.

Instead of feeling unsure of what to say,

I want you to try showing curiosity. For example, you might say, oh,

I hadn't thought about it that way, or That's an interesting perspective.

I see what you mean. For me, I think of it more like,

and then you add in your experience.

All of this makes the conversation more engaging and it helps others feel

heard, even if you have different viewpoints or life experiences.

Now, with that in mind, let me ask you this.

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone else talked and

talked and talked? It's easy to over explain,

especially when we're nervous.

But keeping your responses short and clear allows both of

you to participate naturally with back and forth so that

the conversation doesn't start to feel like a monologue. For example,

I want you to imagine a conversation when someone starts with, oh,

I love yoga, helps me relax.

And I first started doing it five years ago when I was really stressed at work,

and the long story continues.

Instead of sharing all the details, the entire story upfront,

I want you to try this. I love yoga.

It's my go-to form of stress relief. Have you ever tried it?

This answer is simple, clear,

and it invites the other person to continue in the conversation with you.

Now, I know you might be thinking, but I really wanna share my story.

I wanna give the background details. And you absolutely can.

When you start with a short, engaging response,

it gives the other person a chance to ask, oh, really? What got you into yoga?

And that's when you can share more details,

doing it more naturally as part of the conversation rather than all

at once. By keeping your first response short,

you create space for curiosity and engagement,

allowing your story to unfold in a way that feels natural in the conversation

and keeps both people involved. But at some point,

the conversation does need to end.

So how do you wrap things up without it feeling awkward? Honestly,

sometimes the hardest part isn't starting the conversation,

it's ending one.

So how do you do this without feeling rude or abrupt? I want you to try this.

It was great talking with you.

I really enjoyed hearing about your trip to Spain or this was really fun.

Let's continue this conversation another time, another example.

I need to get going, but.

It was so nice talking with you.

All of these provide a simple exit,

no awkward goodbyes or odd silences.

Now that you have these eight strategies in place to help you sound more

interesting in your English conversations, it's time to practice.

I want you to imagine you're at a coffee shop and someone unexpectedly starts a

conversation with you.

What is one question you could ask to keep that conversation going?

I want you to share your example question with me in the comments. Now,

even with these strategies in place,

and even when you're great at asking engaging questions,

those moments of small talk can still feel tricky.

You know what I'm talking about? Like on Monday mornings when someone says,

how was your weekend? Is that a small talk question?

Or is that an opportunity to take the conversation further?

You might be wondering if you should give a detailed response about your full

weekend or simply say It was fine. Thanks.

If you struggle with finding the perfect balance between small talk

responses and engaging conversational questions like we've been talking about,

I have another lesson that I want you to watch.

It's called The Five Most Common Small Talk Questions in English with Answers.

Now, before you go watch that lesson, I have a final question.

I want to know which strategy from today's lesson you're going to try first.

Again, you can share your comments and questions with me down below.

Thank you so much for joining me in this lesson today,

and if you found it helpful, I would love to hear about it.

You can give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube and make sure you subscribe

so you never miss one of my Confident English lessons. Thanks again,

and I look forward to seeing you next time.